oh god! what now?

[freakingaht]

I have found out tonight i am pregnant, with the copper iud. What the hell happens now, i can't believe i am having to deal with this.

Does anyone know what are my options ie. can i have a termination with coil still in place? Where the hell is the coil. I wish i had checked for the bloody strings, surely it can't have just dropped out.
What the fuck happens next. I am going mad as i can't do anything about this immediately. I am thinking i am around 6 weeks by my last period.

I am sorry for the ranting, i am just so upset that this has happened. My husband is being very supportive but we both really didn't want any more as we have two already.

Sorry I can't help you but AIBU is probably not the best place for advice on this, I would ask MNHQ to move this thread. Good luck.

Can trying NHS direct and get some immediate medical advice? They might be able to tell you your options.

they may scan to see if the coil is still in place. and you can terminate the pregnancy with a coil.
make an appointment to see your gp or practice nurse to discuss your options and decide what you want to happen.

Make an appointment to see your gp in the morning. He will advise you on the best course of action on all counts. What a shock!

I just can't believe this is happening to us. We so wanted to avoid an unplanned pregnancy and I thought I had done everything to prevent it. I am very sad that I have to have a termination. I just wish that this problem would go away, but it is not going to. I might try and get a private scan asap tomorrow and go from there.

Just calm down first, panicking isn't good for you although its natural! I'd ring your GP first thing and make an appointment. In the meantime get some rest, if you need more peace of mine give NHS direct a call. Good luck x

The many and varied things that happen with a coil are legion. You do need to see your GP asap anyway because there is unfortunately a higher chance of an ectopic pregnancy with a coil in situ. Get some information and then go with your gut instinct. It's not wrong to be upset about an unplanned pregnancy. It's not wrong to feel a termination may be the best thing for you and your family. This is not your fault. Sometimes contraception fails and that just really sucks. Be kind to youself tonight. It's good that your dh is being supportive. Have some cuddles and a warm drink - because you're probably quite shocked and take a hot water bottle to bed with you. Then tomorrow get some medical advice.

Yes, my friends husband had super sperm able to bypass the coil. She has an abortion. He got the snip very soon after!!! Good luck and YANBU!! Even if anyone says you are.

Oh OP,this must be a terrible shock. I have a copper iud for the primary reason it is so unusual to conceive with one.

I think about 1% of women with one get pregnant per year,if I recall correctly from when I researched it. I think sometimes it moves a bit or comes out (I think you would have noticed that though) other times women just get pregnant. I think the doctor will have to remove the iud,this often causes miscarriage as the uterus has to be externally opened to remove it. So you may not have to go through a termination per se. Although neither is ideal,that's not what I'm saying.

Really feel for you OP,hope you are doing okay in the wake of such a shock.

As Alis said, depending on where exactly the coil is then the doctor may attempt to remove it.

Doctor and hospital were very understanding. At the scan to date pregnancy and locate coil I was offered the choice of not seeing the image.

Hello - I'm one of the 1% - due 12/01/2013.
Massive sympathy for where you are now - it's the last thing I expected to happen and I felt a whole range of guilt, stupidity and confusion.
What happened for me was a GP appointment followed by an early scan at my local Early Pregnancy Unit where they checked the position both of the pregnancy (not ectopic) and the coil (where it should be - dammit!) and whether there was a heartbeat. The kind people there made it very clear that I had options and that I also had time to think about those options (I was about 7 weeks pregnant at that point). They also explained that there was a higher chance of miscarriage and that if I wanted to continue with the pregnancy I should have the coil removed although there was some confusion about when best to do this.
I made the decision to continue assuming I didn't miscarry and my coil was removed at 10 weeks. My 12 week scan and everything else has shown a normally developing baby.
I think if I'd have chosen to have an abortion, I'd have had to have that coil removed, along with an ERPC procedure, but then could probably have had a new coil fitted. I'm totally pro-choice but abortion wasn't the choice for me at that time. Good luck making your decision.
No idea what I'll do about contraception after this one is born - don't think I'll ever trust anything ever again!!

You need to see your GP ASAP since you may be at risk of ectopic pregnancy. They should send you for blood tests and scan in order to check dates and to see if your HCG levels are increasing. They should discuss your options. The Iud works by stopping implantation and not preventing conception so although you may be pregnant you may still miscarry. It happened to my sister while she had a Mirena coil in and she msc at about 7 weeks.
Sorry to be a bit clinical but my sisters GP was all set to send her to hospital in an ambulance so I guess the ectopic risk is quite high. They didn't remove her coil in the end but she found it a bit of an emotional experience.
Hope you are OK .

Thanks for all the replies.

Today I went to my GP who looked up the results of the pelvic ultrasound scan report I had in June. Guess what? no mention of a coil in situ. I am so bloody angry that I could have known the coil was not in place and taken the necessary precautions. I just took it for granted that I would have been told this during the scan. Especially as the whole reason for having the scan was pain post IUD insertion. I know I was a fool to not check for the strings regularly. I just don't understand how it could have come out without me noticing.
This is such a horrid situation. I have booked for a telephone consultation at the clinic for termination as we were so completely sure we didn't want any more. If only we had been 100% sure, my husband could have had a vascectomy. Its so sad and I feel awful for the decision we have made, although i know it is the right thing for us.

How could they not have told you during the exam,which was directly related to the iud that it wasn't in place?! Surely that's negligent behaviour?

I really feel for you OP,please don't beat yourself up about the decision you have made. It's a decision you shouldn't have had to make,you took necessary precautions. It sounds as though your DH is being a good support and you are in agreement with each other that this is the right decision for you and your family.

I hope you are doing okay,relatively speaking of course.

Wow - I don't blame you for being annoyed! Hope things work out for you xx

Thanks, I do feel that they were negligent and am wondering whether i ought to complain. Part of me just feels that if I had only just checked the strings I would have known for myself. Is there an unplanned pregnancy forum on here?

After the first week I had an iud I never checked. So,if you'd checked you'd might have noticed...but they definitely should have during your pelvic exam.

I would be tempted to complain,this has caused so much stress and heartache for you and your DH,it's not a minor oversight on their part.

OP, so sorry this is happening to you. Really don't be so hard on yourself, I've recently qualified to work in family planning and its not uncommon for women to not be able to feel the strings, even when the coil is in place. It might have been a bit better if you had felt for them but it would have been a whole lot better if the folk who did the scan for the IUD had mentioned it wasn't there.
If I were you I would want to know why they didn't tell you and base your decision to complain on what their answer is.
You're pregnancy is only 6 weeks on so all the options are still open to you.