Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at husband

50 replies

Emmon · 15/11/2012 10:05

I have problems with my weight which is due in part to medication I have to take (I have gained 4 stones since starting the medication).

I bet my husband £50 that I would be able to diet for a month. I was doing brilliantly until yesterday. I bought a packet of tic tac sweets and ate 5 before realising they had 80 cals in a pack. Once I realised I threw the sweets in the bin. My husband is saying that because of these sweets I have failed in my diet and I owe him cash.

Today I am so upset I have gone back to binge eating as so upset.

I cannot believe he is saying my diet has failed over a few tic tacs.

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 15/11/2012 10:07

He is trying to wheedle out of paying up - a diet hasn't 'failed' if you have lost weight.

WileyRoadRunner · 15/11/2012 10:08

I don't think 5 tic tacs counts as breaking the diet.

He is being unreasonable. If you were following weight watchers/slimming world/any calorie controlled diet you would be allowed these surely?

RyleDup · 15/11/2012 10:09

If you've lost weight then you haven't failed. 5 tic tacs is hardly going to make a difference.

CailinDana · 15/11/2012 10:09

A diet that forbids you from eating a few tictacs is pointless. Is your DH normally so mean to you?

AlienRefluxovermypoppy · 15/11/2012 10:10

Don't give up just because he's being a bit of a twat, do it for you! 'Get back on the wagon, tell him he's being a dick and that you don't owe him a penny!

Justforlaughs · 15/11/2012 10:13

Get back on that wagon fast still trying to grab hold of the wagon before it disappears into the distance. Seriously, 5 tictacs is 10 calories!!! That's less than a carrot! He's being a prat and trying to derail you. Why? well that's anyone's guess. It coul dbe because he doesn't want to pay up, or it coul dbe because he's jealous of your will power or it could be because he thinks you're starting to get too obsessed with the diet and he loves you as you are. Your choice.

Rikalaily · 15/11/2012 10:14

Tic tacs are a great treat when you are dieting as long as you only stick to one pack, 80 cals is nothing and you need the odd treat when dieting or you risk binge eating.

Your hubby is being a knob and trying to get out of paying up, 5 tic tacs are insignificant and he knows it.

Slimming world etc allow you to have alot more treats than a pack of tic tacs! Go sign up and then you can have even more treats, still lose weight and can give him the big two fingers while you are doing it.

Well done for sticking to your diet, because you really have, the tic tacs are not a failure.

sheeplikessleep · 15/11/2012 10:14

I've just googled and 2 calories per tic tac. That's 10 calories, hardly anything.

Even if you had splurged on a McDonalds Treble Cheeseburger, it's one slight hiccup and wouldn't affect weight loss over the course of a month.

He's being an arse. He's probably jealous that you're doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.

mrscog · 15/11/2012 10:14

5 tic tacs is like 10 calories - you've not broken the diet and to be honest I think your reaction is quite unreasonable. Also what did you set the goal as? Giving up sweets or losing weight? This is what the bet will depend on and you should have defined the parameters properly before you started!

Selim · 15/11/2012 10:15

YABU to enter into a wager without determining the rules first. Is your diet defined by a total absence of certain foods, or a maximum daily or weekly calorie count or an overall weight loss? If your bet was not eating sweets/sugar for a month then he's right, if it was calorie control or weight loss then he's wrong. I have an abstinence during lent and if I ate 5 tictacs I would consider it a failure but on an ordinary diet I wouldn't. Whether he is right or wrong technically, I think he is wrong on account of his lack of support and wheedling to get £50 from you. Its sneaky and mean.

mrscog · 15/11/2012 10:15

But - (sorry I just realised my post sounded unsupportive), well done so far, it sounds like you've done great. Just get back on track and show your 'D'H that he's being an arse!

trixie123 · 15/11/2012 10:16

80 cals in a whole pack and you had 5? That means about 10 calories maybe? Being on a diet does not mean not having anything sweet at all. Show him some of the diet plans so that he understands this and DO NOT pay him. Maybe time for a little chat about what being supportive means (though he might argue its "tough love" I suppose - but he'd be wrong Smile) Good luck with the diet anyway - and I would recommend doing an actual plan. WW online is £10 a month and works - my sister has lost close on 3st with it.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 15/11/2012 10:19

I think the problem is that you are making monetary bets with your husband that are actually important enough for you to take seriously, not the tic tacs.

If you are going to make silly bets, then you need to agree the terms. Was the agreement that you wouldn't eat sweets, or that you would lose weight. Or was it a wishy washy agreement that you would 'diet'?

If it was just that you would diet, then it sounds like you were doing what is widely accepted to be that up until today, regardless of a few tic tacs.

Whoknowswhocares · 15/11/2012 10:21

Oh for goodness sake! You were doing brilliantly INCLUDING yesterday! 10 calories worth of tactics??? After which you had the strength of character to bin the rest? Nothing screams more of success to me

Ignore OH. He is being a prat. Of course if you continue to self destruct he will be right and you WILL fail. Regining all the weight you are bound to have lost will not 'teach him a lesson' or make him less of a prat.

It will just make you fatter. Which only hurts you. Seriously, you are angry with HIM, so why is it YOU who you are punishing?

fedupofnamechanging · 15/11/2012 10:22

Btw - I've lost 3 stone and I still eat chocolate every day. I've lost weight because I have reduced the number of calories I eat - I don't consider my diet to be a failure, just because I still eat chocolate, because I have lost weight and that's what counts on a diet!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 15/11/2012 10:22

Your DH is a dick!!! On every diet you need a little something to keep you going otherwise it will fail and binging will occur. 5 tic tacs is 10 calories Remember the tic tac ad?? 2 mins of freshness for just 2 cals) and even if you had eaten the whole 80 cals worth...so what?? Your diet didn't fail and he is being really really mean.

Does he want you to fail?? Will he feel insececure if you lose weight?

Get back on that wagon and show him you mean business and not for money but for your own wellbeing. Tell him to shove the money up his righteous arse.

Whocansay · 15/11/2012 10:35

YANBU.

Most normal diets will allow you some 'treats'. I wouldn't count 5 tic tacs as a treat. You have not failed at all (although I'm a bit concerned that you may be starving yourself if you think 5 tic tacs is terrible - are you with Weight Watchers or anyone, or simply calorie counting?). If you have lost weight at the end of the specified month, you have won.

Alternatively, lose the husband and get rid of 13 st of twat. Why on earth you'd want to be with someone so totally nasty and unsupportive is beyond me.

All the best OP.

toosoppyforwords · 15/11/2012 10:47

Your DH clearly is an idiot and should be supporting you not mocking you.

I would however advise that if you really do want to lose weight do it properly, not via some restrictive crash diet that is bound to fail.

Why not join slimming world? I did a few years back. The consultants are lovely, the plan is realistic and easy to follow with just a few minor changes, and allows you still to have some of the treats we all love without the guilt pangs. (i'm not a consultant btw! having failed on diets before this is the only plan i can stick too easily!) I lost 2 stone over about 4 months without really depriving myself or having to go hungry. More importantly a year later i've still kept it off.

Tell your husband that you are losing weight for you, to make you feel fabulous again and that you dont need his support but would appreciate it!

WilsonFrickett · 15/11/2012 10:50

You threw 80 calories in the bin?

Can I ask what kind of diet you're doing? Because 80 calories (of which you only ate 10) is nothing in the scheme of things. How many calories are you looking to be on?

toofattorun · 15/11/2012 11:44

Why the fuck have you started binge eating? Who are you hurting here? Him or you? Who's going to feel like shit every day because they can't wear what they would like to wear? Who's putting off doing things in their life because they feel like they're too fat to do them? Who looks in the mirror and feels depressed as fuck because they're not the person they used to be? Who keeps thinking "my life would be so happy if only I were slimmer"? Who refuses to meet up with old friends because they're embarrassed of their appearance? Who feels like a fat good-for-nothing failure in life? Who feels like they're tired all the time and wishes they had more energy? Who absolutely dreads summertime because you can't cover up your fat body? Who thinks they are not found attractive by their spouse anymore? Who has lost their Mojo?
Is it your husband? No.
It's me! Grin But you may also feel some, if not all of these things mentioned above so for fuck's sake, don't hijack that when you're doing so well.

Your husband's just being a twat. All men are insensitive twats who don't understand women. It's not their fault. It's genetic.

ihavenofuckingclue · 15/11/2012 11:56

Your husband is a twat. But if dieting is so important to you, don't be placing silly bets on it. Why is winning the bet so important to you both?

regarding the binge eating. Yes I know its linked to emotions. But you are choosing to binge eat. Blaming him is not right. No one can make you binge eat.

ihavenofuckingclue · 15/11/2012 11:58

All men are insensitive twats who don't understand women. It's not their fault. It's genetic.

^^ this statment is offensive bullshit and give men who don't give a shit free reign to carry on bring bastards.

ihavenofuckingclue · 15/11/2012 11:59

being bastards.

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2012 12:05

Totally agree with ihavenofuckingclue

Diets are a personal thing, betting money on it is silly and will only ever lead to more pressure.

You can't blame your DH for your binge eating any more than I could blame various people/things for all the fags I used to smoke.

But it didn't stop me using them as an excuse.

FatimaLovesBread · 15/11/2012 12:05

Why did you throw them away for 80 calories? What kind of diet are you doing?
A banana has more calories, would you throw a banana away? Or think you'd failed for eating a banana?

I think you need to plan a better diet, calories aren't bad you need them for energy.
Next time don't set unrealistic targets and when you fail use it as an excuse to binge eat.
10 calories of tic tac vs 3000 calories binge eating. YAbothBU