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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not feed my 11mo chocolate?

41 replies

vamosbebe · 13/11/2012 23:04

Both a very close friend (who is godmother to countless children and a primary school teacher) and my Dad have, in the space of a week, been a bit 'eh? that's stupid' about my refusal to feed DS chocolate.

I'm trying to keep him interested in fish and vegtables and meat and fruit and all the lovely fresh, healthy food I can. Besides, I don't think he'd be able to bite a Cadbury's button let alone chew it.

I know chocolate is not the food of Satan - I eat more than anyone I know! - but for an 11mo? I'd like to hold back until DS is 2.

Sensible or control freak?

OP posts:
ImagineJL · 13/11/2012 23:07

Sensible. Hold back as long as you can, at least until it has some bribery value!

McPhee · 13/11/2012 23:10

I feel your pain

My sister keeps threatening to let my nearly 5 month old, suck a chocolate finger Hmm

I've let her know, in no uncertain terms, that if she does then she herself shall be sucking concrete Grin

Anonymumous · 13/11/2012 23:10

That's what I did with my first son - he didn't have any sweets at all until he was two and his grandmother took him to a sweet shop when he was staying with her. DS2 was a different kettle of fish altogether - I found it really hard to deny him sweets when his brother was having them. Leave it for as long as you can get away with it, that's my advice!

Mono1 · 13/11/2012 23:11

I don't remember when DS first had chocolate but I'm pretty sure that from around 1 yr we took the view that the odd treat given by Grandparents and well meaning friends wouldn't do too much harm (age appropriate treats and in moderation). We felt the greater risk was of offending Granny etc or getting into a discussion about it that probably wasn't worth it. Then we just didn't give any such treats ourselves and let it be extra special coming from others.
Our DS has an incredible appetite and is never fussy- a few chocolate buttons from Granny don't seem to have done him any harm I'd never tell her that

katiecubs · 13/11/2012 23:12

Totally up to you. I gave DS the odd bit of chocolate around that age though, I don't think the occasional bit does any harm as long ad they are not refusing food because of it.

coldcupoftea · 13/11/2012 23:16

Well it depends on your reaction- my friend freaked out when her 1yo snaffled a bite of her own first birthday cake that one of the guests had left within reach. Seriously, you'd think it was a pint of vodka, not a mouthful of homemade chocolate cake.

Not saying you should start feeding him buttons for breakfast but some people do get a bit preachy about it when it's not that big a deal.

midseasonsale · 13/11/2012 23:17

I'm with you on this one

squeakytoy · 13/11/2012 23:18

It really wouldnt bother me. The toddlers I know are allowed chocolate as a treat, and chocolate puddings etc.. it doesnt mean that they dont eat veg, meat, fish too...

Moominsarescary · 13/11/2012 23:29

Can't remember when ds3 first had a bit of chocolate, he hasn't started refusing all other foods because he's had some though.

MumofWombat · 14/11/2012 00:09

TBH, at roughly that age, DS would just mash chocolate into the carpet or nearest book or toy..... So if he got offered any when we were out and about we'd just say 'sure you can give it to him, as long as you don't mind cleaning it out of your carpet as he won't eat it'.
He'll have cake (and love it) at parties etc, and I have no problem with that, but he's shown absolutely no interest in eating sweets or chocolate when its been on offer he'd much rather have some fruit. I know, I'm very lucky!
So you can always use what I say if you think it would help keep others off your back!

MrsRhettButler · 14/11/2012 00:29

Dd1 didn't know what chocolate was until she was about 3! Dd2 had a penguin bar when she was 7months old to keep her quiet while we were in the garage waiting for my car to be fixed. One of the mechanics gave it to her and if it had been dd1 I would have whipped it off her straight away! As it was I could have kissed him for stopping the screaming Grin

Yanbu though.

toomanydaisies · 14/11/2012 06:23

YANBU. I have. Similar reactions from some family members. They think I'm weird for not giving a 1 yr old "treats". A treat to her is a mango stick, not sodding chocolate!

KitCat26 · 14/11/2012 06:54

YANBU as it is your choice.
My first didn't have any chocolate until after her first birthday. My second I gave a bourbon biscuit to at 6mths.

monkeyfacegrace · 14/11/2012 06:59

Just mine that have had everything in moderation or overkill when bribery is needed then?

They eat literally anything you put in front of them (5&3), and I mean anything. Chocolate and sweets have never done them any harm.

monkeyfacegrace · 14/11/2012 07:00

never DID them any harm

Im not as thick as I sounded in my last sentence, honest!

poppy283 · 14/11/2012 07:09

Dd didn't encounter chocolate until her 1 year jabs, when the nurse offered her a chocolate button - she didn't want it ... IIRC she didn't take an interest in chocolate or cake until around 16 months.

I wouldn't give it to an under 1, but a friend won't let her 2.5 year old have any sugar at all, which I think is a little ott bit each to their own.

rotavirusrita · 14/11/2012 07:11

It doesnt matter does it?? I mean I have managed to go 8 yrs without my children getting a taste for celery......thank goodness because just the smell of it makes me heave! I think I should get a big pat on the back for avoiding such an evil vegetable for so long :).

However beware if you do treat chocolate and haribo like it is crack cocaine around you PFB you may come a cross as a bit of a nutter! I remember the dressing down my husband got after giving a friends 1yr old chocolate cake plus icing at a party. We all thought she was a bit bonkers after that

rotavirusrita · 14/11/2012 07:12

p.s dont mean to be mean evil to anyone with mental health issues ( which I have myself) with the word "bonkers" perhaps "eccentric" would be better

DragonMamma · 14/11/2012 07:40

It's up to you but I am from the everything in moderation camp so I think YABabitU to wait until 2.

My DC2 (18mo) is a brilliant brilliant eater. He really is a pleasure to feed and eats more than his 5 yo sister - his jaffa cake addiction doesn't stop that and just forms part of a very varied diet.

I can't imagine how you avoid chocolate giving though, especially when they are walking and climbing and are at parties where the food is laid out though? Seems a tad mean to have them watch others eat it.

crazyhatlady · 14/11/2012 07:43

YANBU. Hold off as long as you can. Chocolate and sweets have zero nutritional value and if they don't know it exists they can hardly feel 'deprived'. My ds didn't taste chocolate until he was 2, sweets until he was 3. when they do discover these foods you will be harassed for ever more. Handy bargaining tool though.

Lesbeadiva · 14/11/2012 07:44

My mum gave both my children their first chocolate button at Christmas...DS was 10 months old and dd was 7 months old. She is a great gran to them, so I bit my tongue and let it slide. I didn't actively give them chocolate until a quite a bit later. But believe me, it never curbed their appetite for fruit and veg. In fact they will eat sweet things and still then go to the fruit bowl.

Your baby, your choice. So of course YANBU

I need to get off MN now and get ready for the school run!

ilovemybum · 14/11/2012 08:46

My DS is 11 months and has the occasional chocolate button. Not everyday, I would say about once a week. He still very much loves his veg and will be quite happy after just having the 1 button.

Completely upto you though.

plutocrap · 14/11/2012 10:43

You know your own children, so you know how they're likely to react. Also, you're the one who gets the consequences of any sugar high or fussiness (if your child is prone to these), not your "well meaning" friends and relations, so put your foot down if you have to.

chocoluvva · 14/11/2012 11:14

YANBU. In fact, well done from me to you for holding out.
Your baby is not being deprived, as other posters have said.
It's not a shame.
I know people who go bananas if their dog gets a titbit, but let their tiny DCs have rubbish to eat! It's outrageous.
My DD had almost no sweets till DS came along when she was 29months and kindly friends gave her sweets to make her feel included in the baby present. (Now aged 16 she eats loads of sweets and biscuits but I'm still glad she had an excellent diet when she was little).

TenMinutesLate · 14/11/2012 14:41

I've the cutest picture of my DD sucking on a bar of white chocolate (green & blacks obvs!), my Dad gave it to her whilst i was in the kitchen and although I didn't want her eating chocolate so early I didn't have the heart to snatch it off her and clump my dad over the head with it. She was about 8 months x

DS was sucking chocolate buttons v early on....but he'll quite happily chew on cucumber as well.

She is your child so you do want you think is best, there is plenty if time....just make sure you have a camera ready as the delight on their face is close to heaven!

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