AIBU re MIL's attitude to illness?

[MrsZoidberg]

She openly boasts that she's hardly ever ill, never goes to the DRs, doesn't take painkillers etc, but this makes her too blasé about other's illnesses.

DH had a cold. DH lacks basic hygiene skills. DS has asthma and CFS. He feels like shit most days, so avoiding colds etc is imperative. DH was a grumpy with being told to wash his hands, use sanitiser etc, but did so. Putting his hand over his mouth is another issue

I was moaning to MiL about this, and she seemed to sympathise. BUT DIDN'T MENTION SHE HAD A COUGH (PiLs live next door so see DS daily). She also didn't tell us DNephew was ill when he was over. I didn't see him so didn't realise, so wasn't worried about MiL asking DS in to see him.

DS has caught the cold. MiL doesn't see this as an issue - it's just a cold right?

Well, DS has a permanent headache at the front of his head due to the CFS, he now has a thumping one at the back too. He feels exhausted all the time - having a cold makes you feel tired too, so he's now feeling really shit. His sleep patterns are chaotic at the best of times - now he can't sleep due to a blocked nose.

The only analogy I can come up with is, she wouldn't deliberately leave a trip hazard near him as he would probably bruise himself. I'm sure that she would actively avoid leaving trip hazards in anyone's way, and I'm sure she would be a bit miffed with me if I suggested she did, and yet she's ok with taking no precuations whatsoever to stop him getting a cold. I would rather have 10 bruises than 1 cold.

And Breathe

So AIBU or are all the sick buggers around DS?

How do you know who he caught the cold off.. surely it could easily have been your husband?

She should inform you if she is ill it's basic manors. But I'm not sure it has any thing at all to do with her views towards pain killers.

So yanbu to expect her to forewarn you but you may be being harsh about the way you have expressed it

"DH lacks basic hygiene skills."

I think that that might be more of an issue than your MIL tbh.

How did your ds catch the cold from your mil when she had a cough, not a cold, and it was your dh (him with the poor hygiene routines) who had the cold. And who mixes with your ds far more than your mil?

Sounds like a good excuse to blame MIL tbh. He could have got the cold from anywhere....especially his dad!
As for her attitude to illness, yes she should probably have mentioned she had a cough seeing as she knows that it bothers you. Seriously though, coughs and colds are not something you can shield him from, however much you might like to. I'm not even sure it's a good idea tbh. His resistance will only grow if he comes into contact with germs

Sorry, I was in rant mode and not too clear.

She had a cough, DH had a cold. DS started with a cough, and now has a cold - Yes, he probably caught the cold from DH or even his cousin.

The whinge isn't about who he caught it from, it's about her attitude.

I appreciate that this sounds like a MIL bashing thread, I should have said that normally we're the best of friends.

I know that normally catching a cold isn't a big health issue - unless you have underlying health issues - such as DS has. His immune system is already compromised. They think CFS is caused by a virus - DS had a virus 2 weeks before the symptoms - as did MiL. Both DH and DS caught it from her, I came down with it 3 days later. DH & I got over it. DS appeared too but lacked energy. Then the other symptoms started.

coughs and colds are not something you can shield him from, however much you might like to. - fairly easy in that DS is too ill to go out much. If others around him cared, then it would be almost foolproof.

DS has been ill for 3 years, and I frequently feel like I'm the only one in the family who believes it, or even cares.

Could you print some info from Ayme, MEA or tymes trust? They are bound to have a mention that virus' can cause relapses. It sounds like they don't take his cfs seriously the rest of the time and maybe having some leaflets left in their house/around the house from charities rather than just you explaining