I don't understand my friend.

[Cathycomehome]

We have known each other for twenty years. Very close friends on and off, although very different people. We had a fall out about eighteen months ago, stopped talking, I unfriended her on fb.

She requested we become friends again, I thought about it, thought we should put water under the bridge, so refriended her. Thought being just fb friends was silly, so called her; she hung up on me!

I don't get it! Does she want to be my friend or not?

no she is just nosey x

Did you speak on FB first?

What did you say on the phone?

That's what I thought

How odd. Why did you fall out?

On the phone, I said, "oh, hi, x, it's cathycomehome", and she said, "I'm going to bed" , dialling tone.

Maybe she accidently clicked on you on FB, I have done this before now and not realised. It comes up at the side with 'people you know' and its easily done. (Unless its changed in the last few months since I deactivated mine)

Maybe. But I left it a while, so surely she could've just rescinded the request?

We fell out for a complicated reason. I think my view of it would be different from hers.

Maybe it freaked her out a bit that you accepted her request and then rang her, instead of sending her a message first?

Still no excuse for hanging up though, that's just rude.

go with your original diagnosis of the relationship, you gave a second go, she not interested, there are seven billion other people to spend positive energy on, find one that is worthwhile.

She might not have known she sent it (again I did this) It wasn't until I went nosing about in the settings (I think) that I saw I had friend requested someone I didn't know but we had a lot of mutual friends.

Ah, well. I guess it doesn't matter really, but it made me a bit

Nosey cow! unfriend

Did you phone her just now??

Well, I have just unfriended, as life was less worrying without wondering about what she was thinking!

No, I phoned her at 9.45

:( for you. Mind gaming bitches you can do without.

That's still late for a chat! After 9pm is emergencies-only for pretty much everyone I know, especially if you have kids. Unless you text first. She was probably caught completely on the hop to get a call from you at that hour.

She doesn't have kids. I think I'm finding it hard to let go of a friendship that's probably over, to be honest. I just don't get why she refriended.

just let it go. what does it matter? friendship is an illusion.

This will play out in two ways: She meant to friend you, but was caught totally off guard when you called, and panicked. She's now feeling awkward/bad and she'll make contact with you.

or

She didn't mean to friend you (but even if she didn't, when you accepted the friend request, she'd have received a message saying so, so she should have realised...) and she doesn't want to re-kindle the friendship.

Either way, leave it. She'll contact you or she won't. I'd be feeling a bit bummed though. Those situations are just all a but....yukky.

Sounds like she didn't want your friendship but still wanted to have a look at what you're doing on FB.