to slip my DS a brandy

[dubbada]

up until 2 weeks ago DS was sleeping till 6 am quiet happily occasionally a little earlier occiasionally later,
now hes up at 3 and 4 and will not go back to sleep, i am a fan of cc and used it when he was a baby successfull but now when i try he just screams to hell and back and bangs the door with huge anger.

I am desperate i have a DC2 who is 18m and when they both kick off I am completely trashed in the morning.

So tired now I cant think straight so im begging you mumsnet help

What time do they go to bed?
(No brandy for baby btw)

aound 6.30 for stories, that finishes by 7 , he just suddenly seems to be suffering sep anxiety at nightime and we cant find out why hes fine during the day

Hi missus, what has changed in the last 2 weeks and how old is your 3am screamer? my boys are 16 months apart and had similar issues with my oldest when he was around 2.5, cc was not in any way an option for me as we did try but he broke the pair of us with marathon screaming. i guess they have periods where for whatever reason their sleep becomes disrupted and when you have a smaller one you desperately dont want joining the fun at 4am you do whatever works with least disruption. eventually i resorted to lying down with him on his bed in the wee smalls, till he calmed down, lights off and no talking, then sitting on floor beside bed holding his hand, gradually reducing the time spent in the room. there is no right answer for everyone, just do whatever it takes for now knowing it will be slowly reversed untill the usual routine is re-established. i do feel your pain tho, never underestimate the power of the little devils, gorgeous tho they are! good luck ;)

How old? Could he be teething or have an earache or something? Maybe try putting him to bed a bit later? Or else you go to bed a lot earlier to try and make up your sleep. I know it is hard to give up your evening, but sounds like you need a good sleep.

just seen previous post, is he the younger of the 2? cos theres no way you will both fit safely in a cot...

kiwi i dont know nothing that we can think of has changed, but is seems like his whole atitude has changed he was always whingey but this has now been taken to a whole new level evry other word from his mouth is a whinge or a demand, if i said the sky was blue he would say its red, and he can be really horrible, so i say fine i shall ignore you till you behave then he sreams and tells me im his best friend then in the same breathe that he prefers nanny, daddy, the cat!!!

Im so tired trying to find an appropriate stratergy and sticking to it is killing me none of my parent books include this age

I know hes tired and i just want him to be happy

DS 3.5

Hi dubbada, sounds stressful. (I know, I currently have a 9month old bad sleeper and a 3.5 year old)
It sounds like he is really tired. My 3.5 dd can be terrible to us if she has a bad night. Does he have a nap in the day? If he is that tired maybe at least it will make your daytimes more bearable in the short term?

Also we found that letting dd listen to a story cd on her own in bed once the light is off helped her a lot. She seemed to suddenly become worried about the dark, 'baddies' etc and a nice cd distracted her enough to relax in bed and fall asleep. Now if she wakes in the night we sometimes put her a short cd on and tell her to go back to sleep and it works well.

ok, so he is 3.5...this can be a really scary time of life for some, there is so much more you can do at this age as opposed to a year ago and while it seems like great fun during the day, it all has to be processed while they are asleep at night. nursery, new friends, sometimes the day stuff just leaks out at the shittest time, ie 3-4 in the morning. this is when we have our most restful sleep of the night usually, body temp is at its lowest, dreams are vivid for an hour before and after this time too, so maybe he is just putting all the days stimuli in its place and hence the early waking and ramping up of whinginess. Maybe try to get younger bub settled a bit earlier and have a bit of extra time with DS even if he is up half an hour later in the evening, as you mention sep anxiety, so he feels like he is still getting your undivided time for a bit of the day? it might sound weird but dont take any of the things your kids say personally, they have limited empathy at this age!

Go in and tell him to stop making all that noise and if he wants to be awake he can be, but must sit in his bed quietly

I don't know how helpful this is, because we don't get any screaming etc, but my DD1 is a similar age and recently started getting up when I put her down for bed. In response, I've started having a little chat with her once she's in bed. She chooses the subject, usually things like "doors" or "walls" and I just talk about it. It seems to help her settle.

She wakes up most nights for a bit too, but is usually ok after a cuddle.

She has said she doesn't like being alone at night, perhaps it's a similar reason in your case? She has been known to go into DD2's room and climb into the cot with her!