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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think some parents are crazy?

21 replies

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 10:55

Just latey everyone seems to be in a rush to grow there babies up! I'm not saint I weaned my dd at 13 weeks and soon found out the consequences. I no its exciting that babies learn to do knew things but I've seen things do stupid as babies being put in jumperoos at 4weeks old! Being weaned at 6 weeks?? Wtf? I tried to offer one woman a word of wisdom as I am no facing the consequences of weaning dd so early she wanted to wean at 5 wks! I tried to explain to her her part of dd's problems were direct result of weaning early and she literately Stropped off like a Mardy child! When I have another dc I will make sure I go at there pace and do nothing more than a little bit of encouragement!!

OP posts:

Helltotheno · 30/10/2012 10:59

YABU. Stop sticking your nose in!

WorraLiberty · 30/10/2012 11:01

I weaned all 3 of mine around 6 weeks as per advice from my GP and the HV.

I'm not sure how you're connecting that with wanting them to grow up in a rush?

Offering unsolicited 'wisdom' to other parents rarely ends well.

I'm sure you'll learn from it.

Lottapianos · 30/10/2012 11:04

Some parents just want their children to be as convenient as possible and seem to think that advice around parenting is just there to make their lives hell. If they don't want to hear advice, then they won't hear it. It's really hard to bite your tongue though! Weaned at 6 weeks - jeez!

Original poster

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 11:08

Not at all I'm not one to go prying into people's lives my opinion comes most from people asking for advice on fb but then going mad when u say no!! Ivan understand when it's given as medical advice any other time I don't see why!

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FlobbadobbaBOO · 30/10/2012 11:09

There's no harm in just mentioning that your DC has had problems through early weaning, getting different perspectives of weaning etc is useful to most people, especially if they're on their first child. It's part of learning to parent. However I bet you didn't just mention it did you? Nobody 'strops off' if something is just mentioned, I would put money on you giving the poor woman a lecture on the evils of early weaning.
FWIW, i weaned my first at 12 weeks, second at about the same and third at 16 weeks. No problems here. Early weaning doesn't always cause issues later in life.
YABU, and possibly need to work on how you communicate with people..

TheProvincialLady · 30/10/2012 11:12

You know how you felt when other people/information/HV etc told you that it was inadvisable to wean at 13 weeks but you thought it was the right thing to do and did it regardless? That's how other people feel and react when you try and advise them to do/not do things. It's a waste of time unless someone has actually asked you for your advice and might take it on board, and it only causes irritation and offence.

Learn to judge in your head, not out loud, unless someone is doing something so stupid and reckless that you have to speak out, and even then don't expect them to thank you.

CreamOfTomatoSoup · 30/10/2012 11:12

Just out of interest, what probs can it cause?

I agree with your point. People think if their child is in a jumperoo at 4 weeks then they are advanced.

I KNOW my child is advanced, I don't need to rush him to find that out.

aldiwhore · 30/10/2012 11:14

If people are asking you, then depending on how you word your response, YANBU.

If you're walking up to random mothers and inparting your wisdom, YABVU.

Original poster

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 11:15

I did actually! We were part of a group of mums and I wasn't the only one who mentioned it!! I just said it wasn't the best thing to do as my dc had ended up with many allergies stomach complaints etc and said maybe Leave it a few more weeks? I had no issue with communicating with her but I suppose if anyone was asking for advice and the majority are against what they would like anyone would feel a hit dishearted!!

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Original poster

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 11:17

Aldi I don't think I'd dare say anything to random strangers! No these were people I knew!!

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DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 30/10/2012 11:17

Some people do seem desperate to "prove" their baby is "reaching goals soooo much faster than other babies.

One girl I sort of knew on a parenting page on fb was obsessed with her baby reaching socalled goals faster than anyone else's these included being placed in a Bumbo at 4 weeks old, apparently rolling over at 3 weeks old. Then when baby was 7 weeks old the baby "insisted" on having a quilt over her in her cot. Wouldnt mind but it was August. My one year old didnt really need his quilt in the summer! A few of us tried to reason with this womanchild but she maintained we were jealous as our babies just werent as advanced as her baby [hconfused] [hhmm]

If it hadn't been an invite only page I'd have sworn it was a pisstake!

Original poster

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 11:20

Cream it can cause allergies stomach complaints etc and can damage the bowel depending upon how early they are weaned. My daughter has ongoing issues with dairy intake which weren't present at birth and has a lot of allergies we have to be really careful with her and have been adviced to avoid all food with nut content. She's now two so old enough to have them x

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Original poster

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 11:23

Desperately!! That is exactly my point this particular woman had asked people what they thought and I think she assumed very one wud be with her on it but when they disagreeed she said she was doing whatever she wanted anyways it was her baby! Why ask for advice? I probably wouldn't har had his opinion if my dd was ok but because she has suffered from my 'thoughtless act' of trying to spead her up I feel that I shud just warn her what might happen.

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Craftyone · 30/10/2012 11:27

I?m finding the opposite and that everything seems to be ?child led?. Mums around me seem to be breast feeding longer and taking their time to wean.

I try not to give advice unless asked and if they don?t like it, i don?t get upset.

New mums are sensitive and hate to be told that they are ?doing it wrong?.
YANBU but leave the mum to it.

halcyondays · 30/10/2012 11:27

I weaned both mine at about 23 weeks, with hindsight dd1 really was ready before then, but I know loads of people who weaned very early. I wouldn't say anything unless somebody actually asked me for advice as its really none of my business. None of the babies in question appeared to have suffered any ill effects.

FlobbadobbaBOO · 30/10/2012 11:29

Ah, in that case I read it wrong and I apologise. YANBU, if she asked you for advice then you were well within your rights to give it to her! Nobody likes to be told they're maybe not right though, especially when babies are involved, and there is that ridiculous competitive streak with baby development which only gets worse as they get older... When they walk, talk, have their first philosophical debate... You know the ones!

Original poster

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 11:35

I think my dig is that this woman asked for advice and then took it very badly. But after seeing she was so egar to have her dd doing thins not particular suitable for her age I began too look around and saw that other parents seem to be the same! Not all most actually are ok but I just wonder whether the expectation for children to hit milestones is to much these days? What happened I children doing things when they wanted!! Like I say I'm
No saint with it all but because my dd has complex issues drs are always paranoid for her Hitting every one on time. But with parents and I'm not only on about first time mums some that have had 2,3,4 kids are like it to? There almost seems to be such like a competition to see whos chd
Can do wat first! And it's almost as if parents are pushing there child to achieve more that what they probabl can at their age x

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Original poster

piglettsmummy · 30/10/2012 11:40

Exactly flobba!! I see many kids doing what my dc shud be able to do and younger ones overtaking her but I think well no kids perfect!! They go at there own pace!! My dd isn't lazy she's is so
Active and imaginative she's just a little slow to physical development! There is a competition and it is rife!! I mean before we knew about all of dd's problems I found myself taking photos of her from certain angles to make it look like she was sitting up and standing up just because I was fed up I people saying to me 'what's wrong with you child? Why can't she do that?'

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ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 30/10/2012 14:07

So this is a terrible thing to confess but i realised yesterday that i was itching to start weaning early because i'm a bit bored and it will be something new to do. Having realised this and taken a long hard look at myself i have decided not to wean her until at least 24 weeks.

She is only 22 weeks this week so it's not long to wait but i will still be buying the crinkle cutter, highchair and plastic plate in preparation. And pacing up and down at mealtimes resisting the urge to slip her some carrot.....

Seem to remember at 6 weeks i was chasing my tail figuring out the basics so wouldn't have wanted to add weaning into the mix though!

MrsDeVere · 30/10/2012 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZombTEE · 30/10/2012 14:18

Well, some parents think you're crazy, so it's all even, isn't it?

Flip