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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be raging mad!

18 replies

MissVerinder · 19/10/2012 10:48

DD had an awards assembly this morning; 9am.

DP works half eight to five, I asked him anyway if he wanted to come on the off chance he could. He said no, he had to work- fair enough.

His car is off the road at the moment so he is using mine which isn't a problem as I usually walk most places anyway (this is relevant I promise).

So, it gets to quarter past eight and he's still in bed. I ask him if he'll give us a lift to school (on the way to his work) as I assume he's going to get up and do a mad wash/dress for work.

And he says "No, it's ok, you take the car..."

So, basically he can't be arsed to get to work on time, and can't be arsed to go to his DD's first awards assembly (she only started this September).

AIBU to have told him that we'd walk it like normal because it's appalling that he can't be bothered to get to work on time, but it's fucking disgusting that he can't be bothered to turn up for DD; obviously he didn't have to work because he's still in bed.

FYI, he can get up at 5.30am to go out on his motorbike with his mates.

I am fuming.

OP posts:
YerMaw1989 · 19/10/2012 10:57

I would be too

what are you going to say to him?.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 19/10/2012 10:58

Why is he not allowed to not want to go to the awards assembly > Confused

He clearly doesn't, they're incredibly dull - maybe he'll go to the more interesting stuff. With my dh and I it's 'who can bear to put up with this one today' - he goes to the parents evening ones as he's a teacher and I go to the dull house drama/dance.

Paiviaso · 19/10/2012 11:06

I think you are overreacting.

pjmama · 19/10/2012 11:13

I'd be pissed off too. It's not about whether these events are fun or interesting, it's about the fact that its a big deal for the child to have parents there and we should make the effort. I think I'd be annoyed that he used work as an excuse instead of just being honest about not being arsed.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 19/10/2012 11:17

LFC me and my DH do that. We say to each other, which football match do you really not want to go to today?

Or trade off, I'll do the year 4 assembly, you do the sports day Grin

I think he should have said he didn't want to go, rather than making an excuse about work though.

FolkGhoul · 19/10/2012 11:37

These Awards ceremonies are dull but you aren't invited to them because the school thinks it's going to be the highlight of your social calender this year.

Original poster
MissVerinder · 19/10/2012 11:37

I am pissed off mostly because it is the first one she's had; I wouldn't expect him to come to every one.

Yep, it was tit arse boring, but so is cooking tea and doing the ironing. I still manage that.

How much of an effort is it to go and sit on a teeny chair and smile and clap for twenty minutes?

I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. Needless to say he wasn't here when I got back- he's already had a bollocking for being late to work (from work, not me).

OP posts:
PropertyNightmare · 19/10/2012 11:44

I can see why you are annoyed. Yanbu.

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 19/10/2012 11:51

Ex-bil was like that. Notice the "ex". Yanbu.

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 19/10/2012 11:52

Sorry, my post wasn't practical at all!

Perhaps make a list of the "boring" stuff, and divide it 50:50 (make sure his stuff is o/s work hours so he can't use that as an excuse not to attend).

ShushBaby · 19/10/2012 11:55

YANBU. Your daughter would surely have been delighted if you both came.

Fakebook · 19/10/2012 12:22

OnTheBottom, you left your DH because your bil was like op's husband? Confused..I don't get your post.

CuriosityColaKilledTheCat · 19/10/2012 12:24

I think her sister left the guyGrin

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 19/10/2012 12:26

I would be upset for my dd, and I'd tell dh I thought it was off that dh wasn't coming to see her get an award.

But tbh I think it's his loss and I wouldn't be pissed off about it.

(I'm assuming your dd was getting an award? Not just an award ceremony?)

But if your dd wasn't getting an award then I think yabu. I'd rather stay in bed too Grin

Viviennemary · 19/10/2012 12:29

I didn't really like assemblies much I'm afraid. They were really boring. And I was always thinking of what I had to do that day instead of sitting being bored. I know that sounds awful. Still it's the truth.

Sidge · 19/10/2012 12:30

That would piss me off too.

As parents we don't go to assemblies, awards ceremonies, Harvest Festivals, Nativity plays, Christmas Carol Concerts etc because they're interesting, exciting or fabulous entertainment - we go when possible because we love our children and it pleases them that we are there.

mutny · 19/10/2012 12:40

Good god, since when have people only ever done the 'fun and interesting' stuff for their kids?

He shouldn't have told he that he had to work if he didn't. Sounds like he uses it as a get out clause for stuff he doesn't want to do.

Yanbu if he didn't need to work he shouldn't have said he did and i think he is bu to not go since he was ok being late.

MummyPig24 · 19/10/2012 12:44

I'd be annoyed. Dp was gutted he coulsnt see ds first harvest assembly. Seeing him singing his little heart out was priceless!

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