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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be twitching whilst doing ds's DLA form

34 replies

ledkr · 15/10/2012 11:45

wtf? I had heard it was hard but bloody hell,how do I remember all the dates of tests etc and how many times do I have to tell them the same piece of information. I have given up being creative and am just writing the same statement over and over again. Do they not realise that when you are ill that each day is different,you can be ok one day and half dead the next grrrrr.

Just needed a green tea and a quick rant before I get back to it.

OP posts:

Original poster

ledkr · 15/10/2012 11:46

How many times/ minutes does it take to be helped into bed

OP posts:

UnChartered · 15/10/2012 11:46

it's one of the worst things i've ever had to do

keep drinking the green tea, have a break and take your time, but set a time limit of eg 4 days?

good luck

Original poster

ledkr · 15/10/2012 11:47

Did you ring the individual drs for dates? Are they happy to give and whats about a report will they do that for us?

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 15/10/2012 11:48

Has he had DLA before? Do you know what they grade the answers by, so that you are successful?

Birdsgottafly · 15/10/2012 11:50

When you fill in the part about his medical care they willl ask the Doctor/NHS to confirm what you write.

What you can give is a 'picture'of his daily care needs, what we normally say is to keep a diary for a week(at least) as most people underestimate the care given.

Do not base it on his best days, find an inbetween, so on average per 6 months, say.

Original poster

ledkr · 15/10/2012 11:50

No this is the first time and I have absolutely no idea what im doing,I gave up trying to get help to fill it out it just doesnt seem to be available.

OP posts:

UnChartered · 15/10/2012 11:51

i did call the GP for dates etc, they were more than happy to give the information over the phone.
I copied everything I had for DD, (ASD) reports, appt letters, 'script lists, IEP (even tho they were shit) and how they couldn't get any verification from school as she was waiting for a new place.

what are you DSs issues, OP? does he have dx?

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 15/10/2012 11:51

You can explain on the form that different days have different needs

Also I found it really helped to spend a day with a notebook noting down all the difficulties I had from waking up to going to bed, how much help I needed and how long it took. It was actually quite surprising seeing it all written down like that and it really helped with the forms

Original poster

ledkr · 15/10/2012 11:52

He has renal failure but this causes lots of related conditions such as gout and gastric probs but he doesnt get that every day iyswim? I keep saying "when he gets gout" it is like this.

OP posts:

schobe · 15/10/2012 11:52

I found this brilliant.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 15/10/2012 11:52

There used to be a lot of great help available with DLA forms but I think a lot of it, if not most of it has been lost due to budget cuts

TheLazyGirl · 15/10/2012 11:52

Lay it on thick, or they turn you down flat. Bastards

One of them on the phone once told me that as my DS was 3, all 3 year olds need help so I should have more gumption and deal with it.

McHappyPants2012 · 15/10/2012 11:53

when i filled out the form it took me 3 weeks and alot of tissues. It really make you think and how diffrent DC is for other children.

Original poster

ledkr · 15/10/2012 11:53

I must add that he is an adult (24) but my 1 yr old would be more likely to crack on and fill out the form than him tbh.

OP posts:

schobe · 15/10/2012 11:54

Give them a picture of how he is at his worst. Then try to work out roughly how often he is like that per week/month. Don't play anything down. You can attach a diary of a terrible day or week to try to show a clearer picture.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 15/10/2012 11:55

That sounds fine, I also used phrases like 'on a bad day' 'on my worse days I need xyz' 'some days are worse than others and I cannot do ...' etc I think a lot of conditions vary from day to day so don't be afraid to explain in depth and repeat yourself whenever necessary

Original poster

ledkr · 15/10/2012 11:58

schobe that is brilliant thanks. Im going to take it more slowly and read that as i go along. Its not a normal form.

mchappy Ive got used to that over the years watching his health deteriorate slowly and not be able to fullflll his ambitions (fireman) to ill.
I just hope he gets a kidney soon I want him to feel normal again.
He is fab,even refuses to give up work despite having 8% function. Hes on minimal wage and they dont always pay him for sick time.Dla would mean he could go part time and still keep his dignity if he doesnt get it he will have to give up and get ESA.
Shamefull country

OP posts:

Original poster

ledkr · 15/10/2012 12:00

Im worried I will get intoi trouble if I get it wrong.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 15/10/2012 12:10

You won't get into trouble, if you are only telling them what he needs or has needed (if the care needs fluctuate).

Have you focused on his social needs as well as his independant living needs?

UnChartered · 15/10/2012 12:22

you won't get into trouble if you get it 'wrong' and how can it be 'wrong' anyhow?
you know how much extra support your DS needs, no-one can tell you it's 'wrong'

use words like 'frequently' for more than once a week, and 'regularly' for more than 3 times a week - and yes, i would use his worst days as the benchmark. you and he needs support for those days, and if he gets it, those days will become far more tolerable.

if there is anything 'good' about the current system of assessment for this allowance, it's when they write back and tell you why the claimant isn't entitled to it - then you know what information is missing and you can provide that.

TirednessKills · 15/10/2012 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhenShallWeThreeMeetAgain · 15/10/2012 12:58

Never, never give them any leeway. Always do everything as if it was the worst day.

They are illogical fuckers - My son had been receiving DLA for 10 years and then came the renewal claim form, which I duly filled out. They turned him down flat. I asked for a 'reconsideration'........and they gave it to him 'indefinitely' !! Work that out.

As Tired said - make sure you photocopy everything before you send it.

Paradisefound · 15/10/2012 13:06

Do you have a local Citizens advice bureau. Varies from one area to another, but they can be very helpful. Conveying your child's needs on paper can be bloody hard I would get some advice.

2rebecca · 15/10/2012 13:19

If you lay it on too thickly and the GP gives a more realistic picture then they won't believe anything you have written so I would be honest so what you have written and what a doctor writes won't sound as though you are talking about different people. Try and be specific with timings eg "when he has a flare up of x which is approximately once a week he has difficulty with..."

elphiemcdork · 15/10/2012 13:21

Filling in a DLA form is horrible. You have to put what he's like on his worst days - it's one of those forms where doing what most of us normally do and say "Oh no, he's usually ok with whatever but sometimes he needs some help" doesn't work and you have to be honest about all the help he needs.

I completely recommend finding help to fill it in - even someone who's already done one. I second photocopying it - my husband sent off a small thesis worth of paperwork and letters with his DLA form and the office lost the whole lot.

Try not to do it on your own, take your time and be thorough. Drink plenty of tea! Good luck

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