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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a cleaner?

75 replies

DeliaRose · 10/10/2012 09:49

We are not exceptional well off, we get by.

I'm a SAHM to 18mo, 3yo (at nursery mornings) 6yo (at school).

I do a bit of voluntary work (once a week, couple of hours) and am intending to go to college next year.

Dh works long hours.

I can't cope with the volume of cleaning/washing/cooking/ironing.

I feel like if we got a cleaner I wouldn't be able to tell anyone. Especially DH's family as they would be Hmm at the fact that hero DH is working every hour god sends and I can't run the hoover round once a day.

Other supermums manage, why can't I?!

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 10/10/2012 09:54

I say with sincerity and warmth - Get over it.

Your life is your life. You are only responsible for the health and happiness of the people you love.
Anyone who cares about you won't even think to judge you. Anyone who wants to judge you can fuck off.

You should do what suits you, what makes you and yours happiness. Life is too short to be cleaning all day just because someone who shouldn't care might have an opinion.

Original poster
DeliaRose · 10/10/2012 09:58

Thanks Smile

I think I will feel guilty though, how does everyone else do it?!

OP posts:
OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 10/10/2012 09:59

Well said, Pagwatch. Like it! Grin

SoleSource · 10/10/2012 10:02

Get a cleaner. Feel OK about your decision and that is final in yoyr mibd. If ypu tell your family do not engage in chat aboyt it. If they disapprove just tell it was your decision and tbey have to lice with it and you do not wish to discuss it further.

They are JEALOUS

ZillionChocolate · 10/10/2012 10:04

I have a cleaner, it's brilliant. Other people are welcome to think I am a lazy cow. I have a clean house and sleep soundly at night.

Do it. Don't broadcast it if you don't want, but don't apologise either. If it allows you to prioritise things which are more important to you, then that can only be a good thing.

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2012 10:05

As long as you and DH are happy who cares?

Seriously it's your life and your money.

Yes you'll have people who won't understand why you need one, personally I don't understand why you need one.

But it's not up to you to justify yourself because it's no-one else's business.

PuffPants · 10/10/2012 10:06

The £30 I give my cleaner each week is the best money I spend - in fact, I would pay double that. Plus, she's nice and I like chatting to her. There's no guilt. I have the money to spare, it makes my life easier and I'm giving someone a job.

My MIL was most wound up when she heard about it and promptly got her own after deliberating for 40 years!

Leena49 · 10/10/2012 10:06

We both work full time and have two kids 12 and 7. I run round like a mad thing throwing washing into the machine, putting it on rack to dry whilst getting ourselves ready in the morning, I clean when we get in from work or sometimes at 11 pm. I'm not getting a cleaner because actually we manage.
And... Sorry not much sympathy for you plight that you don't have time! Just don't try to live in a palace with 3 young kids its never going to happen!

Original poster
DeliaRose · 10/10/2012 10:07

I don't understand why I need one either, but at the end of the week the washing is backed up, there's crap everywhere and I just can't ever seem to get on top of it. Then I go to a friends house and everywhere is immaculate, the kids are eating wheatgrass and their dog smells like roses Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
DeliaRose · 10/10/2012 10:09

Well if cleaning at 11pm is how you do it...

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 10/10/2012 10:09

Well I'd give up sniffing other people's dogs for a start Grin

Adversecamber · 10/10/2012 10:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PuffPants · 10/10/2012 10:10

Can you afford it OP?

It will be worth five times what it actually costs you...

Noqontrol · 10/10/2012 10:14

Oh I'd get one if you can afford it. Who gives a teeny tiny rats arse what anyone else thinks. When I'm richer, whenever that will be, I'm going to get one.

MrsKeithRichards · 10/10/2012 10:15

Have a look at flylady. Look past the spew worthy gushing and there's a great system.

A cleaner might not actually help with the clutter and washing issues.

Leena49 · 10/10/2012 10:17

Everyone I know has ended up getting rid of the cleaner because they ended up tidying up for the cleaner! What's the point of that.

Noqontrol · 10/10/2012 10:17

I tried fly lady but I can't get past the intial shining your sink stage. The hotspot thing worked for a week or so and now we're back to the same old clutter.

Tailtwister · 10/10/2012 10:19

If you can afford it, do it! Why not? There's no need to make your life more difficult if you don't have to. Motherhood is not a competition. I can guarantee your children won't measure you by the amount of housework you do. If other people do then that's their business (and problem!).

MrsKeithRichards · 10/10/2012 10:20

I think there's a good thread on housekeeping about flylady for following the system day to day.

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2012 10:21

This is not aimed at you OP...it's just a general musing.

I don't get why so many people can't manage/complain about washing?

I don't do washing...I have a washing machine that does it for me. I just put the clothes in, chuck a liquid tab in after them and shut the door.

Then when they're clean, I take them out and hang them on the airer.

That's it. I don't gather them up, drag them down to the river and beat them against stones.

Then again I'm old enough at 43 to remember my poor Mum doing half the washing by hand, soaking loads of stuff overnight in buckets and doing the other half in a crappy top loader that took about 2hrs each load Blush

That really was misery.

Susieloo · 10/10/2012 10:23

Oh please get a cleaner, I used to have one and I loved, loved it. I'm not over dramatising saying it changed the quality of my life. I am not in a position to have one now but I would in a heartbeat, my dp and mil would be horrified in fact before I moved in with dp I told mil I had a cleaner and she was stunned into silence because I lived on my own. My response to anyone who used to attempt judgement with comments like 'I can't believe you've got a cleaner' used to get a very cheerfull 'yes and I love it, wouldn't be without them!!' back at them rather than trying to justify it.

I have a tiny two bed house, one three month old ds and I'm on mat leave and I would get one tomorrow if I couldSmile

OrangeLily · 10/10/2012 10:23

Do it!

Cleaner = £££
Happiness = priceless

MrsKeithRichards · 10/10/2012 10:23

I can cope with the washing. I do one load a day. It's the putting away which is a pain! My bedroom ends up in piles of clean washing.

I don't iron. I don't see the point.

WildWorld2004 · 10/10/2012 10:26

Im sorry but what do you do all day? You have a child at school full time, a child at nursery half the day & one child at home with you. A 6 year old and a 3 year old are old enough to help even if its just tidying their toys at the end of the day or putting the washing in the machine.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/10/2012 10:26

I've had a cleaner for as long as I can remember. I also pay people to fix electrics in my house, do the garden, fix plumbing, all kinds of things. I have no idea why it's meant to be somehow 'shameful' not to walk around behind your own vacuum cleaner. Bizarre inverted snobbery, I suppose Hmm

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