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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask dh to drive me to my course?

23 replies

cinnamongreyhound · 04/10/2012 06:50

I broke my foot almost three weeks ago and so can't drive. I am a childminder and have to do a first aid course every three years. Mine expired two weeks ago and I'm booked on one next Tuesday for the next four Tuesdays. It's in a town 20 miles away and from 7-10pm. Hopefully when I go to hospital next weds I will get the all clear to drive and take myself to the next three. Dh is now annoyed at me because he will be home from work for an hour and then have to go out and sit around for three hours waiting for me.

AIBU to ask him to take me to something that I need to do my job and bring in a good proportion of our household income, even if it means he has to give up his evening?

OP posts:

tanfastic · 04/10/2012 06:54

YANBU and if he refuses he's a dick sorry!

LindyHemming · 04/10/2012 06:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 04/10/2012 07:01

He could drop you off go home and come back for you so sitting at home not just in a random city. Or he could go see a film in the time between start and finish.

He sounds like a whingey teenager. Has he been this unsupportive elsewhere?

ripsishere · 04/10/2012 07:04

YANBU. And what the three posters prior to me said.

Original poster

cinnamongreyhound · 04/10/2012 07:08

Thanks for your replies, he does work long hours and we have a hectic life so I do expect a bit of grumpiness but I didn't think I was asking too much. My mum was going to babysit but he will stay home now and my mum will take me. There will be tea and coffee and he could have sat inside with a book/phone etc or even gone home but its just his total anger at me for even suggesting it that made me think perhaps I was asking too much.

OP posts:

AThingInYourLife · 04/10/2012 07:14

So it's outrageous suggestion that he does it, but he's OK to get his MIL to do it?

What a nice, considerate chap you've got there.

Aren't you ashamed to drag your mother out to do something your husband thinks is beneath him?

LindyHemming · 04/10/2012 07:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

cinnamongreyhound · 04/10/2012 07:21

He actually got angry because I said I'll ask my mum I know she'll do it for me. It's not like I'm asking him to take me to a party it's something I need to do and would rather not spend four evenings doing. I know it's not fun for him and didn't expect him to be happy but wasn't quite expecting his reaction. Tried to talk to him last week and he just said cancel it (which I can't as I need it to work). He is a loving kind man but he can be selfish at times and hasn't been great at having to drive me about and do things that I haven't been able to do with my foot. I've done as much as I feel I can but its been a struggle the last few weeks and there's been more pressure on him than usual.

OP posts:

YellowDinosaur · 04/10/2012 07:27

What a twat he's being. And i'm sorry but I don't think it's any sort of excuse that he's had to pull his weight more because of this. I'm sure you didn't break your foot on purpose and haven't been having a barrel of laughs either!

It's when things are tough that you really see sometimes character. I sincerely hope nothing more testing happens to you as I'd worry about his level of support. So much for for better for worse...

YellowDinosaur · 04/10/2012 07:32

And by the way I don't think there's anything wrong with him being a little bit irritated at the situation and having to give up his evening. But not at you, his wife, ffs, especially given the fact this is for work!

I'd do this like a shot. I'd take a book or go and watch a film. Actually I'd take dh there for a party too if it was a long standing arrangement or one of his close friends.

justpaddling · 04/10/2012 08:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hopeforever · 04/10/2012 08:05

Is it possible that someone else on the course is from near you? You might find someone there who could give you a lift home if you can't find out in advance, meaning your mum can get home earlier.

poopnscoop · 04/10/2012 08:08

It's quite simple... without a CURRENT First Aid certificate you are not allowed to trade. It's a statutory requirement. Does he know this?

That ALONE should be enough to get him off his derriere and drive you. You have an injury, you are his wife, boggles my mind he can have this non-caring attitude. He can take a book/amuse himself in the car... he's a big boy? It's not like it's every few months or year even.

poopnscoop · 04/10/2012 08:09

ps: Re doing the course.. when you do the practical part of it, just ask that the mannequin is put on a table. Should be easily done. No kneeling necessary.

Original poster

cinnamongreyhound · 04/10/2012 08:10

I will be fine to participate peabodyblue, I have been working for a week. I get on the floor with the kids and can walk with my special boot that puts weight through my heel. They usually do all the book stuff first and do the cpr stuff at the end but even if that was first I'd be fine, thank you though :)

I did think about contacting the course provider but I assume they won't give me any contact details of anyone who's attending to be able to ask and I didn't want to make a huge fuss. Didn't think I could ask someone to give me a lift home though after I've been there, good though Hopeforever.

OP posts:

GobblersKnob · 04/10/2012 08:10

I find that really odd tbh, I would be very upset if dp did the same to me.

How can he be angry?

Good luck with both your course and your foot

Inertia · 04/10/2012 08:16

Presumably you do things for him which enable him to work, such as look after his children? ?

This course is necessary for your work. Ask him what he thinks would happen if you refused to look after the children while he worked, as he is refusing to facilitate your work ?

nokidshere · 04/10/2012 08:19

YABU because you are going on a first aid course 20 miles away!!!! I always wait till there is one locally - and if that means my renewal is late then so be it! As long as you can show you are booked on one Ofsted have no problem!!!

Original poster

cinnamongreyhound · 04/10/2012 08:32

There are none closer nokidshere, I'm in a very rural area.

OP posts:

margerykemp · 04/10/2012 08:49

He doesn't sound like much of a partner.

WineGoggles · 04/10/2012 09:00

He is NBU to be irritated, but is BU to direct that at you. YANBU to ask him (and expect him) to drive you to the course. You didn't mean to break your foot, you need to do the training to be able to keep working (which helps the family), and he, as your husband, should be supporting you.

PinkFairyDust · 04/10/2012 10:22

I had to go to one about 30 miles away as nearest one to me...pata but I did it because I had to just like the op said, she has to do it for Her job

StuntGirl · 04/10/2012 10:28

His response was def. not on. I can understand being a bit annoyed at losing your evening but it's not like you're being deliberately awkward to put him out ffs.

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