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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried DD is getting fat?

40 replies

lostthroughthelookingglass · 21/09/2012 23:52

DD is 15, and up until recently has always been fairly slim. Her build hasn't changed that much except over the past few months she's developed a real podgy belly that doesn't really look in proportion with the rest of her. She takes ballet classes after school which she's started to say she doesn't want to carry on with after loving for years, I think a part of it could be that she's aware of how prominent her belly is in a leotard.

Just a stage? Or should I be worrying about what she's eating?

OP posts:

crackcrackcrak · 21/09/2012 23:54

What is she eating?

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2012 23:56

Her body's got major changes going on.

Why does she say she wants to stop ballet? Could she just want to do other things?

Do you need to be worried about what she's eating? You'd have noticed by now if she was just chomping on crisps/choc wouldn't you? (but then she's probably not with you a whole lot at 15?)

AgentZigzag · 21/09/2012 23:57

(please don't do that with your knuckles crack )

WorraLiberty · 21/09/2012 23:58

Does she do much exercise? Apart from the ballet class I mean?

It's not unusual for 15yr olds to want to drop ballet and other dance classes as some tend to feel they're a bit babyish once they become teenagers.

But if it is due to her belly then that's awfully sad

RubyFakeNails · 22/09/2012 00:01

I do always think they can't grow both ways at once so it may just even out. DD1 put on some weight around 13 and I was in a complete panic about her getting fat but the minute she grew taller it all seemed to fade away which made me jealous calmed me down.

Maybe just keep an eye on her. If she gains further weight you could look at what her eating habits are. Particularly those when she's away from you.

Regarding the ballet I think you need to have a conversation and find out exactly why she wants to stop it. She might open up to you about her weight at that point anyway and you can talk it through then or you may find she has completely different motives for wanting to quit.

apostropheuse · 22/09/2012 00:01

Lostthroughthelooking glass,

You say it's only her belly that's got fat rather than her putting weight on all over.

I think perhaps you ought to take her to the doctor to rule out any medical condition.

Just a thought.

Original poster

lostthroughthelookingglass · 22/09/2012 00:01

AgentZigzag- that's exactly the issue. At home we eat healthily bar the occasional treat ( very occasional, I avoid buying junk food because I know I'll only eat it! ) , only brown bread, lots of veggies, water not squash etc. But I can't control what she has at school, I think she has a large baguette and pudding most days and buys herself snacks on the way home

She says she doesn't like it anymore, but it's incredibly sudden, I'm not convinced. Particularly because the belly she has now really developed over the summer.

OP posts:

GlitterySkulls · 22/09/2012 00:01

is it just her stomach?

AmberLeaf · 22/09/2012 00:01

No chance of pregnancy? (sorry to ask but it was the first things I thought when you said it wasnt in proportion)

Its not uncommon for teens to go through a podgy stage prior to a growth spurt though and as Worra says sometimes they grow out of activities they've previously enjoyed.

crackcrackcrak · 22/09/2012 00:03

(looks guilty)

apostropheuse · 22/09/2012 00:03

To be honest that's what I thought Amberleaf, just didn't know how to put it and worry the OP.

GlitterySkulls · 22/09/2012 00:03

oh thank god, AmberLeaf has said it for me

RubyFakeNails · 22/09/2012 00:06

Yep Amberleaf has said what we're all thinking.

Original poster

lostthroughthelookingglass · 22/09/2012 00:08

Definitely not pregnancy, she's never had a boyfriend and her school's all girls, she doesn't see boys much out of school unless you count DS It's definitely fat, but it is all in the belly area.

OP posts:

Softlysoftly · 22/09/2012 00:12

I went to an all girls, my mum thought DH was my first bf....,

But it's more likely to be fat, I agree with pps talk through her reasons why she wants to quit and just keep an eye on her weight gain it might even out, if not you can tackle it.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts · 22/09/2012 00:14

Can you be sure she's never spent any time with any boys Lost I really don't want to worry you....but I do think that a trip to the GP is in order. It could also be something else such as IBS....best see the doc to be sure either way.

WorraLiberty · 22/09/2012 00:17

At home we eat healthily bar the occasional treat ( very occasional, I avoid buying junk food because I know I'll only eat it! )

Please don't take offence at this but do you think this might be part of the problem?

Have you given and taught her the 'everything in moderation' rule?

Or do you think your own lack of self discipline might be rubbing off on her?

RubyFakeNails · 22/09/2012 00:18

I'm sure you're right so yeah just follow my and the other early comments.

However LOL at the all girls school comment. I went to an all girls school, my mother was under the impression I had never even been kissed at about 17. In reality I was sex-crazed from 13 onwards, and had probably had more boyfriends than she had hot dinners by 17.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 22/09/2012 00:21

Amber leaf said what was my first thought too ... Def not possible?

Anyway an honest chat is needed I think OP, find out her reasons and thinking as much as you can. She is probably 10 times as aware of this change in her body than anybody else and some reassurance might give her the confidence to keep dancing if she does still enjoy it.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 22/09/2012 00:23

And yes I knew of at least half a dozen girls at our town's all girls school who got pregnant, at least 2 conceptions occurred in lunch breaks if the girls were to be believed .....

GoldShip · 22/09/2012 09:01

Take her to the doctors to rule out POS or anything else. X

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 22/09/2012 09:17

Amber leaf said my first thought as well.

OneHandFlapping · 22/09/2012 09:22

lostthroughthelookingglass you could be me, and my 14yo DD. I've posted about her before. She is also an absolute apple, with a disproportionately big belly.

She's 5ft 1, and her hips (I measured them for some trousers) are 38 inches. She both hates herself, and at the same time, is not prepared to do anything about it. And of course it's an absolute taboo subject.

I've no answers, but I commiserate with you.

GobblersKnob · 22/09/2012 09:28

I really think a visit to the gp has to be the first port of call. Particually because you say she looks out of proportion. However hugely unlikely it seems to you it is possible she is pregnant, there is also a slim chance that there is something else medically wrong.

Be prepared for the fact that she may want to go alone.

Once that is ruled out you can go the normal route of looking at diet and exercise.

bigsnugglebunny · 22/09/2012 10:44

It could be lots of things... water retention, wheat/gluten intolerance... I'd get her to the GP for a checkup

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