what would you do?

[withgreatpower]

Hello,

the other night I was babysitting my brother and sister-in-law's 2 1/2 year old daughter. They told me the bed time routine (all quite standard) and then told me to put her in bed with her dummy. The dummy was attached to a ribbon (let's say 1/2 cm in width, if that's relevant), so that the dummy could stay at the child's neck, even if it fell off her mouth during the night. I was worried about the danger of being strangled by the ribbon, so I asked twice if it was ok for the little girl to go to sleep with the dummy + ribbon around her neck. The mom said that since the child was not a little baby anymore, it was ok.

I did what they told me, but I also went to check the child frequently when she was asleep, because I was a bit anxious. Is this a silly worry? Am I paranoid and see danger everywhere?

If you think this is dangerous, would you tell your brother and SIL? They can be quite oversensitive about these kinds of things (they could get insulted that I think they are not responsible, etc.).

What would you do?

I would tell them straight that there is a huge risk with what they are doing.

I'm actually abit that they have not used a ounce of common sense.

A lot of people are going to tell u to butt out but the horrifying fact is that babies & children are hurt every day by things we don't expect to - so something like this should be setting off alarm bells. I know of a family whose toddler horrifically died when the cord from her window blind dropped down near her cot & got caught round her neck.

I would tell them. I'd rather face their wrath than the alternative. X

Or can't you just buy dummy clips that attach to clothes on the other end? I'm sure I saw something like that in boots. Maybe you could get a couple for them to use instead as anything round the neck sounds very dangerous to me.

How long was the ribbon? Was it quite short or is there a real risk of it getting wrapped around her neck? If you are still concerned could you mention you'd read an article about a child being strangled in a blind cord and it made you worry about your niece and her dummy?

Yep that's crazy. They need one of these....worked beautifully for my dd.

www.welovesleep.co.uk/item-193-Sleepytot_Rabbit_Baby_Comforter.aspx

Thanks for your replies. I'll try to think of a polite way to say this. At least I know that I'm not the only one that thinks this can be dangerous.

Thank you!

Pinner35, the sleepytoy is a great idea! Thank you!

Speak up NOW!!!

There isn't a polite way to say that you are risking your babies life.

Phone them now and say it.

Tonight is another night.

I really don't understand some people! Not you op, your db and sil! :(

I also think the Sleepy Tot is a great idea Pinner. It has been the perfect solution for my ds. They are great, washable etc and he loves it.

OP, perhaps it's something you could give as a gift.

I think it's perfectly reasonable to let them know you think it's dangerous.

My DM cut the pull-along cord off DD1's Fisher Price phone. I never thought it was dangerous, but she did. She did it to feel safe (I was in hospital giving birth to DD2, who had died), so I appreciated her help.

I never felt offended that she didn't agree that it was safe... in fact she quite often worries more than me.

If your DB & Dsil choose to feel offended that it is their lookout imo. You are showing care for your niece.

Just be tactful when doing it.

I cut the cord off of dd's fisher price phone as well. It seemed quite dangerous to me.

And op you are not being unreasonable.

Perhaps you could get some information from the campaign to get rid of blind cords. I am sure that there are some children rather than babies who have strangled themselves before. It doesn't have to be a confrontational conversation but should be a 'I'm really sorry if you feel that I am overstepping the mark but I've been really worried about the cords on the kids dummies since I baby sat the other night and this is why.....' conversation.

It's better that you never get asked to babysit again than hear something has happened to a child and think 'I should have done something'. Unfortunately they still may not listen but at least you will know that you did what you could.

I just wanted to write an update. I talked to my DB after posting on MN and getting your comments. DB was grateful for the advice, and said they were going to get rid of the ribbon straightaway. I feel so relieved now. Everybody is safe and nobody got upset.

Thank you all for the advice.

Pinner35, I wish they had had those when my DDs were small, they were always losing their dummies and I would not use the ribbons during the night for the reason stated.

withgreatpower, glad it has been resolved.