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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not attend a school event because of this?

38 replies

TheSpokenNerd · 10/07/2012 16:41

There is a school even on tomorrow where we have to go to a venue our DC have spent a lot of time at...have lunch with them and share the work they've don

Lovely venue and should be a nice if long afternoon.

Thing is, my front crown has been coming loose since yesterday...I rang up the dentist the moment it began coming out but they can't get me in till Monday!

I have been in this situation before and my poor tooth is barely hanging in...it wont last and I will spend the next few days unable to speak for fear of it flying out...I will probably have to remove it tonight to save it from getting swallowed when I eat. Blush

Should I go to event and be uncomfortable or make DH go alone? He was in two minds whether to come along though as work is pressing...but he COULD take the afternoon off....he wont be pleased I suspect...he'd rather know I was going for sure so he can keep his work options open (ie change his mind at last moment)

What to DO!?? I caan't bear the thought of looking like patchy the pirate in public!

OP posts:
Spatsky · 10/07/2012 16:44

Depends, is there an option for sitting at the bag out of everyone's way and keeping your mouth shut?

I probably wouldn't attend because no way could I avoid the chatting mums and am vain, but if I was type to keep myself to myself anyway and could sit at the back un noticed I probably would do that and try to remember not to smile widely.

Spatsky · 10/07/2012 16:44

bag was meant to be back - sitting at the back

SandStorm · 10/07/2012 16:45

Depends how disappointed your DC will be if you're not there.

Spatsky · 10/07/2012 16:46

Or another option, a mum at our school had to have an extraction prior to school run and just put on Facebook a self deprecating bit about gap tooth. That takes some of the weirdness and discomfort out of it when the person themselves has already acknowledged and made light of it...

smellyolddog · 10/07/2012 16:47

HUmmm tricky one, I'd go?? but that's coming from someone who missed a 40th party due to a swollen infected eye, I felt like poo, my face looked all awful, but mainly I didn't want to infect others.

Your not going on the off chance the crown slips off? I don't have crowns so sorry if this is a stupid suggestion but could you not used some temporary measure? like denture glue stuff of something?

I would maybe brave it and just make a joke of it if it happens.

Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 10/07/2012 16:48

Well people will expect to talk to me Spatsky its not a sitting and watching thing...more of a walk around, mingle and then all eat together thing!

I will get some odd reactions if I don't open my mouth. Sand DD is the type of child who would probablyprefer neither of us there! But she'll be fine with just her Dad and we make a point of going to these things as it's important.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 10/07/2012 16:49

I'm not on FB....Smelly no...I once tried that stuff you can ge from oots but my crown is a post crown...it's on a post which sticks out of my gum...I look AWFUL and it WILL slip out...I can't talk and keep it in.

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 10/07/2012 16:50

I would either plead for an emergency dentist appointment as see someone else and pay the extra if that's what it takes, or I would go to Boots, buy one of those DIY kits and have a go at temporarily fixing it myself.

But I definatly would not miss a special school event, which it sounds like this is. I love stuff like that at school, and I would have to be in a really really bad way to miss it. It will only happen once OP, go and support your child.

Spatsky · 10/07/2012 16:51

Well I would probably send Dad alone then, but I am probably bad and vain for saying that.

Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 10/07/2012 16:57

Fredos....I can't afford to pay for dental treatment...I get it free! I have no funds for that kind of thing. The emergency kits don't work...I mentioned above that I have a post crown and they just don't stick...they're designed for caps and dentures that have cracked...my tooth is more like an implant.

I can't go looking lke this! I think she'd be very embarrassed.

OP posts:
HeadsShouldersKneesandToes · 10/07/2012 16:58

If you aren't in pain, and if you are likely to be removing it tonight anyway then YABU because this becomes a vanity issue more than anything else, and your DCs will miss your presence if you are not there.

It is perfectly possible to talk and to smile without showing your teeth very much, if that is what really matters to you.

Get over yourself though - do you seriously think that anyone is going to be caring about the status of your teeth at an event like this? Really? Anyone who would judge you for having a missing crown is not worth knowing anyway. Anyone remotely sane would have a giggle about it and say "hey I get to look like a pirate till Monday!"

If you would be in pain and unable to participate, that is different.

Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 10/07/2012 17:02

Oh are you ALL KIDDING?? You would happily go to social event with ONE FRONT TOOTH?? My teeth are quite big! You can't MISS the fact that one is not there.

I will remove it *Heads" because it keeps falling out anyway but really...youre all lying I think...if you could see me you'd tell me to stay behnd closed doors!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSpokenNerd · 10/07/2012 17:04

I look like this but with hair.

OP posts:
HeadsShouldersKneesandToes · 10/07/2012 17:40

No, I stand by what I said. Get over yourself. It is not all about you and what you look like. You are being horribly, unspeakably vain. I would go to a school event for my DC even if I had a condition that made me look like this, so long as I wasn't physically in pain. How shallow are you? Do you judge whether you want to be friendly with other school parents because of their physical beauty??

RuleBritannia · 10/07/2012 18:04

It would mean a lot to your DC if you were to attend the school event so why don't you go but prepare in advance. You don't want people to see your missing tooth (well, they wouldn't if it's missing) so write a note essay if necessary about your problem saying that you cannot speak because ...... then if people talk to you, hold up the sheet that says, "Hello," and then the next one that described your condition. If necessary, take a pen and notebook, too.

slartybartfast · 10/07/2012 18:07

jsut hold your hand in front of your mouth when you speak, explain you lost a tooth.
or juts brazen it out - imagine you are a sailor Grin

slartybartfast · 10/07/2012 18:08

sympthay, though, same thing happened to my mum and she was dreadfully embarrassed Blush

FushiaFernica · 10/07/2012 18:13

Unless you can put something on the tooth to temporarily fix the tooth I wouldn't go to the event if I was you.

PatFenis · 10/07/2012 18:14

I noticed this product in Boots today. I have no idea if it works but it might be worth a try as a temporary measure.

Dentanurse

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 10/07/2012 18:32

Hold a hanky over your mouth and tell everyone you have a wicked toothache. Grimace and don't eat much.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 10/07/2012 19:07

You clearly don't want to go, and it sounds like you were expecting all answers to say YANBU.

If you don't want to go, then don't, but don't act surprised when others say they would still want to go in your position.

Spatsky · 10/07/2012 19:10
Fresh01 · 10/07/2012 19:12

I would take out the crown to avoid the worry of it falling out and go along anyway. My father in law is currently on holiday with us and has exactly the same problem. He tried the glue from Boots but it lasted 5 mins! He has taken the tooth out and accepted the gap, one of his front two teeth. I know his appearance is probably less important to him being a man in his mid seventies but unless he pulls his top lip in a big smile you honestly don't notice. I know you will feel more self conscious but when talking to someone people don't tend to closely look at their teeth.

CockOff · 10/07/2012 19:25

Just miss the school event or send DH. Loads of other parents will probably have to miss it due to work commitments, it's not a big deal.

3boysandagirl · 10/07/2012 19:49

My crown fell out recently, but thankfully it was at the side. I have found that bad enough. How about glueing it back in for the time being???