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Original poster

To think my garden is turning into a playground

26 replies

Louboo2245 · 03/07/2012 17:27

In my front garden we have a trampoline, swing slide set and a climbing frame.

My son has just started playing with the girls who have moved in next door, but they don't seem very interested in playing with him, just with playing on the equipment.

I've just looked out the window now and there seems to be half the street in my garden and my son just sitting out. My DS is generally quiet etc but this just seems to be taking the piss.

Should I go out and say something or just let him get on with it

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 03/07/2012 17:32

I wouldn't go out and say anything - but when he's alone check if he's OK with everyone else playing on his kit like this.

How old is he, BTW?

KatherineKavanagh · 03/07/2012 17:32

Why is it in the front garden?

He is being used. And if one if them gets injured, an irate patent I'd likely to be round blaming you! I'd turf em out..

KatherineKavanagh · 03/07/2012 17:32

*parent

DozyDuck · 03/07/2012 17:34

Maybe you could say there's a rule: only 2/3 people to play at once. Then you aren't offending anyone.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 17:35

Why is it in the front?

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 03/07/2012 17:37

He's 8.
It's in the front garden as it is all lawn and less likely to break himself. That and the back garden still looks like a building site and is unsafe in general.

This has been going on for a while and when I do ask him he says he's fine, he just doesn't seem it, if you know what I mean. They've all buggered off now and I'm quite please.

Occasionally I come downstairs and find 4 kids in my front room play on the wii, son is there too but I'm not convinced it's what he wants to be doing (he prefers the xbox(God don't we sound spoilt!!))

I don't know how to give him the tools to tell them to piss off deal with the situation. Any help?

OP posts:
lovebunny · 03/07/2012 17:38

he's being used. put your stuff round the back if you can.

word of warning. we had swing, slide, sand pit, climbing frame in the 'back' but everyone could see. two boys from the estate at the bottom of the hill (quarter of a mile away at least) came to ask 'can we play on your park?'. i said, sorry, no, it's just for friends... and that night we had a break in...

whiteandyelloworchid · 03/07/2012 17:38

is the front garden fenced off?or open?

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 03/07/2012 17:41

It's a low fence and to be honest until we get some more money the back is aswell, we have had one or two teenagers bouncing on the trampoline late at night, but nothing that has been overly offensive.

I don't want to make enemies with the neighbours over it and DH tells me not to worry but DS has few social skills and I worry about him being walked over.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 03/07/2012 17:48

I'd take it all down until you can move it to the back. explain this to DS by saying it's a bit broken and it will sorted when possible. And put away the wii and Xbox so that other kids can't get to it. Get DS to invite 1 friend at a time and see how they interact.

quoteunquote · 03/07/2012 17:54

we always had/have a code word,

if any of DC don't want to be in a situation, they can slip it into conversation, and we will help extract them without issue,

If they are at a friend's house and being pressurised into a sleepover, and they don't feel like it, when they phone up to ask, they use it in conversation, and we insist that they come home as we have plans,

Our eldest use to find it hard to say no to friends, and he(now 21) said it was so useful,

It's also useful when you have an invasion, they use the word, and you remember that they have a pile of homework, friends leave thinking it's the parents fault, not the child.

When it's all quite again, ask your son if this would be a handy code to have, all of mine love knowing they have a way out without feeling awkward.

Original poster
Louboo2245 · 03/07/2012 18:07

That's a brilliant idea quote, thanks Smile

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 18:11

I'd take it down too and move it to the back when you can.

I don't think having his play equipment 'invaded' in this way is particularly helpful if he doesn't have great social skills...he will very likely be walked over or seen as the 'spoilt kid' if he finds his voice and says NO.

Also, it might be helpful to lay some boundaries down regarding him inviting other children in without your knowledge.

You shouldn't really be 'finding' children in your house unless you have invited them in...that could well be another situation where your son finds himself out of his depth.

BellaBearisWideAwake · 03/07/2012 18:17

I love that code word idea, fab thanks

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2012 18:20

We had a code sentence when my DS were little.

If they felt pressured into ringing up and asking if they could stay longer/stay for tea/stay the night and they didn't really want to.

They'd say, "Mum, can I stay at so and so's for tea? Oh and by the way, did Eddie drop my game back?"

To this day none of us have every known anyone called 'Eddie', let alone lent him any games Grin

BellaBearisWideAwake · 03/07/2012 18:22

so simple yet so effective Grin love it

GrimmaTheNome · 03/07/2012 18:26

The code word is a great idea. This weekend DD came in behind her friend who was asking if they could have a sleepover - DD was silently gesticulating 'no' - so, much homework invented. wouldn't have worked if DD hadn't carefully positioned herself!

But I really don't see how removing the play equipment at this point will help the OPs DS.

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 03/07/2012 18:26

I personally would make it a rule that before any child is allowed into the front garden, or your house, your son has to check with you first. That way if you think there are too many kids there or whatever, you can be the bad guy and he won't lose face - it'll just be known that he has a strict mum. Plus, if he has to ask you he then has a chance to use a code word, whereas if he just lets them in it might be quite a while later before he gets to talk to you and explain he doesn't really want them there.

TheCrackFox · 03/07/2012 18:27

The code word is a brilliant idea.

DontmindifIdo · 03/07/2012 18:28

I think you should take down the play equipment for now, if he's not getting enjoyment out of it, then stop it being an issue.

CaliforniaLeaving · 03/07/2012 18:33

I'd take it all down and clean out the back yard, it doesn't need to be landscaped, just picked up of anything sharp or dangerous and weeded and then put everything back there.

thebody · 03/07/2012 18:35

Gettin boring but as ever worra said what I was going to post.

We also had a code word as all of my kids found saying no difficult, same as me so I have 4!!!

quoteunquote · 03/07/2012 18:37

thanks, I thought I would share, as everyone I tell about it, starts to use it, and it get passed on,

but a word of warning, I can spot passwords/phrases(we have a family phrase as I need an escape plan also) ,so try not to be offended when you spot one of your friend's children using it at your house.

Oh and by the way, did Eddie drop my game back?"

that is so close to ours.

I suggest brainstorming over dinner, as children remember it far better if they help create it.

GrimmaTheNome · 03/07/2012 18:37

Seems a bit dog-in-the-mangerish to me. Shouldn't the emphasis be more on ensuring he does enjoy it himself ?

DollyF29 · 12/10/2012 11:55

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