disclaimer from the start.... this is a lighthearted thread!!!!
Ok, so he buggers off to work away for the week on Sunday morning..
I book hotel for him for Sun night, and for his 3 colleagues as well.
Apparently I picked an excellent place as he sends me a photo of "the view" on Sunday evening when they check in, after working all day.
"the view" is of a field, and some hills, bathed in sunlight, but obstructed by a very large pair of tits...
I replied to this message with "hmmmmm"... and he rings me to say "I am SO sorry, she walked in front of the phone as I took the photo"... yes dear, so it didnt occur to you to take another photo then... 
At this point, I was about to photoshop Johnny Depp lazing on our sofa and send it back to him...
We then get to last night... which is in a different hotel as they have moved to a new job... and he has no phone signal so I dont hear from him.. however his boss "manages" to post on FB... a photo of a field of pigs...which apparently live next door to the hotel.
He rings me this morning, telling me about the great night he had, and how he was in a field with pigs, stroking them, and they have very blunt teeth...
I do sometimes worry about my husband... 