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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

pissed off that a 'gift' has turned into something else

24 replies

bitofcheese · 20/06/2012 19:47

i am a dealer/trader. used to when asked sell stuff for friends/do bootsales for them but stopped as ALWAYS turned into a nightmare (their stuff wasn't good, sold for barely anything then friends thought i had ripped them off as gave them alot less cash than they expected). dh came home last night with a knacked old metal tea set, filthy, been dumped in their garden, said it was a gift for me. if he had asked me if i'd of wanted it i wouldn't and would have declined but it was a nice thought. looked on ebay, they can't give them away, i was thinking of perhaps taking it to charity although will try and get a fiver for it. THEN i get an email in reply to mine thanking them (to be polite) and they sign it off asking for a cut in the sale of it. i am really hacked off. they can have it back as far as i am concerned. it is filthy and will take me ages to clean it up (metal so needs a wash and a polish, take me ages and not worth it for the amount i will possibly get for it, if anything). now i feel obligated to give them half, half of ie £5 when it had been a gift originally, a gift that i didn't ask for or want. they won't belive that i sold it for a fiver either, they will think i sold it for ie £50 and kept it which i wouldn't have done anyway, i had already decided that if i had sold it for more than £20 i would give them half anyway even though originally they hadn't wanted any money and this is how i make a living. rant over

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 20/06/2012 19:49

Tell them it's not worth much and give it back then.

worriedwretch · 20/06/2012 19:50

Give it back to them!

Virgil · 20/06/2012 19:50

Sorry, who was it from? Your DH?

Dprince · 20/06/2012 19:52

maybe you dp was wrong and it wasn't meant as a gift.

Original poster
bitofcheese · 20/06/2012 19:52

nah, they will think i am giving them dealer bullshit (saying something that is worth something but isn't). it really isn't worth anything but alot of people think things that aren't worth anything are, i hear it all the time as part of my job. i would have given them half if it had been worth something, i would have done that as a nice surprise because i didn't think they were expecting it, i am not tight but now i am pissed off. i don't feel i can give it back to them, they have disguised it as a 'give away' but it isn't really. if i get a fiver and thus he gets nothing, i know what he is like, he will make a snidey comment at some point in the future. i told him to look on ebay at completed listings and he will see that there are tea sets very similar with 99p start prices that have gone unsold....... i could be watching tv eating a Yorkie instead of washing this bloody thing, it has things growing in it

OP posts:
RandomMess · 20/06/2012 19:53

Yep give it back!

squeakytoy · 20/06/2012 19:54

so you emailed them to say thanks and you would be selling it on? did they give it as a gift for you to sell or thinking that you would like it?

I would just give it back to them. I sell on eBay and refuse to sell for others as people just want their money and dont like it when you explain that there are fees to pay for the priviledge of selling.

Dprince · 20/06/2012 19:55

I would tell them that its not worth much. They may want it back if they are not going to get alot.
I used to do carboots with dh. We were selling for fil, he would go to one and him another. The same happened with him. He ended up with a plant and tat stall. He stopped and told people they could join him but he wouldn't do it for them.

ENormaSnob · 20/06/2012 19:56

Just give it back.

Original poster
bitofcheese · 20/06/2012 19:56

dh's friend gave it to him to give to me, said he didn't want it, that someone had given it to him (as part of a job,he does building work) but had dumped it in the garden. it's pretty revolting tbh but i was touched anyway that he had given me it, people sometimes give me well meaning shite as they know i am a dealer which is a nice thing to do although rarely ask for anything for it (family members) although i would it buy some chocolates (sometimes spending more on them than i make on the item in question..)

OP posts:
elvisaintdead · 20/06/2012 19:56

So just give it back! Say you tried to sell it but couldn't and give it back if that makes you feel better, about it. Simple, end of.

animula · 20/06/2012 19:57

I think you have to send an e-mail saying: "I'm sorry, I think there was a slight miscommunication between my husband and myself. Please don't be offended but I am sending this back, via dh, because I don't, under any circs, sell for friends: too many uncomfortable situations, I'm afraid!! All the best, bitofcheese".

And send it back.

The alternative is hours of washing, polishing, seething and then trying to sell it.

cees · 20/06/2012 19:59

Give it back, sod what they think. Just say thanks but no thanks. I don't have the time or patience to be scrubbing rubbish all day.

spanishring · 20/06/2012 20:00

They won't know unless you tell them. Uncomplicate your life. Say thanks but it's not worth anything - say you just want to clarify this so that they don't have any expectation.
Never mind the fact that they're rude for giving you a ' present' then asking for st in return.

RandomMess · 20/06/2012 20:00

sell it for scrap Grin

Wheezo · 20/06/2012 20:03

Oh just give it back to them. Be honest and say terribly sorry but this is not worth the time I would have to spend on it to clean it up to sell it but please don't let me stop you cleaning and selling yourself. This is your business.

A gift, my arse. Who are these people? Out of interest what is their business?

Original poster
bitofcheese · 20/06/2012 21:01

squeaky - no, i emailed to be polite (to say thank you), they didn't give it to me as a gift gift (something to keep personally), they gave it to me as i am a dealer/source and sell old items, as they thought i might like to sell it but they (initially) didn't want anything. dh has since told me his friend even dumped it in the front garden for two days hoping a stranger might take it....they didn't it is that bad. actually, i have given up washing it, the top metal layer has worn away/eroded, i don't think it is nice enough for me to take to a charity shop, too embarassing although i guess somone might like it, i can't bin it, i won't be selling it that's for sure

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 20/06/2012 21:03

Give it back and from now on when asked to help out with stuff like this, just say you don't have time and decided to no longer 'work' with friends as it causes too many issues.

Pretty clear message

Springforward · 20/06/2012 21:05

Give it back?

madonnawhore · 20/06/2012 21:08

Give it back. Tell them to have a go at selling it themselves if they're that bothered.

Original poster
bitofcheese · 20/06/2012 21:10

dh & i have agreed to take it to the charity shop, someone might like it but it isn't good enough to sell on at the places i trade, i won't bother telling him, i'll just leave it and if he says anything to me or dh we will tell him. right, now for that yorkie bar :) thanks chaps

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 20/06/2012 21:18

I'd email and say it's not worth much in your opinion, so would they like it back to see if they can get much for it on ebay or would they like to pick a charity shop (from the local ones to you) that you will give it too.

skybluepearl · 20/06/2012 22:16

Give it back to them and say you think it will get 5 only and wil take too long to clean.

skybluepearl · 20/06/2012 22:20

Email then and ask if they would like you to charity shop it or return it to them as it won't go for much.

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