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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really dislike my nearly three year old sometimes?

16 replies

fullofregrets · 23/05/2012 18:45

We bypassed terrible twos but DS will be three next week and has suddenly morphed into a whiny stubborn little brat.
Lying on floor, stamping feet, hitting. Vile, just vile. Possibly the hot weather has not helped but I could have quite cheerfully left him sat outside my front door today with a sign around his neck saying 'free to a good home.' Or actually to any home at all.

It makes me feel bad that on days like today I really don't like him much.

OP posts:
alphabite · 23/05/2012 19:00

It sounds like you need a break. Have you got friends or family that could have him so you can have a day to yourself.

It's a horrible age for some children but just keep reminding yourself why you love him. Look at his baby photos etc.

Ask people for help...honestly they won't mind. My friend had a really tough time with her daughter when she was 3 and she needed us all around her. None of us minded at all. We were happy to be able to finally do something to help. She is now 4 and her behaviour is still a bit tricky but much better.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 23/05/2012 19:20

YANBU

BonkeyMollocks · 23/05/2012 19:21

YANBU!!!

Doesn't mention that three is a piss of piss, wait till they reach 4 :(

susiedaisy · 23/05/2012 19:23

YANBU

Repeat after me "this too shall pass"Smile

latrucha · 23/05/2012 19:30

Has he had any changes recently? My DD is older and has just started school. I'm getting a lot of aggression directed towards me. It is so totally irrational, persistent and driven towards her ending up in tears that I choose to believe it's because she's going through a lot and I'm a safe person to vent at.

She pretty much corroborates that, in between shouting, 'Stop shouting at me mummy' (I'm not shouting) twenty million times. Eventually she's ready for a cuddle.

Takes one hell of a lot of lip biting and it does get me down but it's a hell of a lot quicker than telling her off about it. Took me a while to work it all out.

Does it sound possible? Or did you just need to come on her and go yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh ...? I've been there

Thing3 · 23/05/2012 19:59

DD2 is 3.9 and having screaming fits on a nearly daily basis at the moment so I feel your pain! DD3 who is 1.9 has started but at the moment they are over in minutes so not as bad.

Today's one was on the way home from nursery because I put the window up by accident instead of down and then forgot to go over the big bridge!

anychocswilldo · 23/05/2012 20:02

My dd is 4 and is such a little mare at times it's all I can do not to throttle her!!!!! Why did nobody warn me what happens when they get to 4? She is beautiful, funny and very clever and i love her so much, but she is so willfull and whiney and just so challenging! The past few weeks have been particularly difficult and I feel such a failure especially if I've been shouty, i even smacked her bottom the other day Sad Blush NOT hard and more for shock factor coz she was being so naughty! It was the first time and I am so ashamed and upset about it I could never do it again! I then spend all night when she's in bed torturing myself and going over what I could have done better. I'm hoping this stage passes quickly, I thought all of this happened in the 'terrible two's '

HighBrows · 23/05/2012 20:04

(wait till he's a teen)...
YANBU

Original poster
fullofregrets · 23/05/2012 20:09

I threatened him with a smack today! Bad. We were out and he just sat down on the pavement and then when I tried to move him he was kicking and screaming. It was near a main road and it wasn't safe for him to be flailing aroundt and I hissed 'do you want a smack?' at him before I could stop myself. I've never hit him but he stopped it and stood up.

Normally I just ignore or use time out. He's just so defiant at the moment and everything is a battle, from brushing teeth and putting on shoes to getting in the car or eating his dinner. It's all a bit relentless.

OP posts:
Triggles · 23/05/2012 22:42

Our 2yo DS stomped his foot today while shouting "NO" at me when I told him he was sitting in the trolley at the supermarket. He looked so ridiculously offended that I burst out laughing. Don't think it did much for his ego, tbh.

Anyway, I just put him into the trolley and let him fuss for a bit while I did the shopping. He got over pretty quickly when he realised he wasn't getting out of the trolley seat.

Honestly though, you'd think I'd beaten him with a stick with all the horrified looks from people as we went through the first couple aisles. I just said calmly "You've never seen a child having a tantrum before? Lucky you!" Grin

I just keep telling myself "it's just noise, he's learning how to deal with anger" and do what needs to be done. It can be downright embarrassing sometimes, but at least it's not boring, right? Hmm I'll be glad when he's moved past the tantrum stage - we're getting there slowly.

bigbuttons · 23/05/2012 22:44

It;s ok not to like your likes all the time! It will pass.

kittyandthefontanelles · 23/05/2012 22:44

That is a lovely post alphabite. What alphabite said

Deadsouls · 23/05/2012 22:44

YA DEFINATELY NBU! I remember so well when my son was 3, come to think of it 2 as well and now he is almost 5 and he drives me up the wall sometimes. It's the whining that DOES MY HEAD IN!!!!

Sometimes I wonder if it will get better....not much help but I do empathise. I have sometimes had the feeling of 'what did we do wrong?'

chandellina · 23/05/2012 23:02

Yanbu, my son turned 3 and became a terror almost overnight with huge tantrums over the smallest things. They are just seeking some control. I found it helped to give my son two choices when he was on the verge of meltdown and he'd often accept one. Threats and bribes remain crucial but he's almost 4 now and things are much better.

DefiniteMaybe · 23/05/2012 23:10

YANBU my ds is 3.5 and is naughty ALL THE TIME. He's just figured out the baby gates so he's through them messing with things he shouldn't as soon as I sit down to feed dd. He drives me batty. I love him to bits but i can't wait for this phase to be over and am dreading dd going through it. Don't think it helps that I'm lucky to get 5 hours sleep at night either.
Asking grandparents to have him doesn't really help either as they spoil him to death so he's worse when he gets back. I want my lovely ds back. Sad

PeppermintLatte · 23/05/2012 23:42

thank god i'm not alone! my 2.8 year old DD is a nightmare lately!

she was a "difficult" newborn, but from the age of 6 months to 12 months she was amazing, such a pleasant baby. she gradually slipped into her "terrible 2's" after she turned one, but they didn't really kick in until she was about 22 months. we have good weeks and we have really bad weeks and she has started biting and smacking other children over the last month. the good weeks are becoming less frequent....

if we spends time with my mum or aunt to give me a break it just makes her worse, as they let her away with murder but don't have to deal with the consequences.

my goddaughter is 4 and is such fabulous company, she has her moments but loves to spend quality time with me or her mum and she is fun to be around. i don't want to wish my DD's life away but am looking forward to her being a little older and more reasonable. she gets very frustrated for nothing lately.

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