to be concerned/scared about my neighbours?

[Nursee007]

I live in a fairly quiet residential area near twickenham in a mis terrace house, fully sharing a wall on one side and only sharing the upstairs wall on the other due to an alley between the houses. Neighbours on the alley side are delightful, very friendly and no complaints. Neighbours on the fully shared side are a different kettle of fish.
Most days I hear mother and daughter SCREAMING at each other....and I literally mean screaming. I know the daughter is no older than 16, and the language I can hear through the wall is, quite frankly, despicable. They go at each other hammer and tongs, and quite often I have heard shrieks of 'get away from me, don't touch me,' and the suchlike, and a lot of banging, crashing and thuds. There is also a son, I think early 20's, and the nice neighbours have told me to be v careful of him, as he has been in prison more than once and is not a nice piece of work. Quite often he is home alone during the day whilst mother is at work and daugter at school. The smell of pot coming over the garden fence is unmistakeable and very strong, and he plays very loud music which comes through the wall. I went over once when heavily pregnant to ask if he would mind turning it down a little....he told me to fuck off so I haven't asked since.
I've called the police twice due to the noises as it often sounds like someone is being physically violent....the last time I called them, when they arrived, I clearly heard through the wall,' now look what you've done, the bloody neighbour has called the police,' so I'm now scared to do so in case they come round and make my life unpleasant - even though I only called them as I was worried for their safety - the teenage girls in particular.
I have a 10 week old baby and their noise has disturbed his sleep sometimes...and I really don't want him growing up listening to that....I find it upsetting and worrisome, so I hate to think how he would think of it when older.

Is there anything else I can do? I've tried looking up a number for social services but can never get through to an answering machine or a person...

Move house? If you aren't prepared to call the police, there's not much else you can do, and this type of stress only ever gets worse. Social services won't so anything - what did you think they would do? Your local council/environmental health people might help with the noise if it's a regular thing, but it would mean bringing a formal complaint against the family, and they're going to know it was you.

Gosh this is a hard one. Have you spoke to any other neighbours about doing something? Perhaps you can catch the daughter on her own and say something and see how she replies before you say anything to social services. I'd mention to the parents about their sons music and how it's disturbing the baby and if that doesn't work then I'd definitely report a problem.

What can SS do?

FWIW, she sounds like a lot of drama llama teenagers do.

It's not a nice situation to be in though

I suppose you can call Environmental Health regarding the music but everything else sounds part and parcel of living nextdoor to a rowdy family.

Just as you're hearing them screaming through the walls, they'll be hearing your baby screaming through them too.

Not nice, but then again you do share a wall

I HAVE called the police a few times.....and moving isn't an option. I've just gotten hold of someone in the local borough family support unit and have spoken to them about it....they have filed a report to the local borough and will investigate whether the family is already known to services.

To be honest, it sounds like the daughter's too old for them to want to get involved.

We are also in a mid terrace. The neighbours on one side are horrific. The DH spends his time "patrolling" the lane behind the houses, using his car to create a brrier so no other cars can get up and down and starting fights with anyone who points out that they need access /its a public highway etc. He has two vicious dogs which bark incessantly and frighten children going by to the school at the end of the road.

The DW is even worse. She screams hysterically at her DSs (8 and 6) from the moment they wake to the moment they sleep, except when they are outside with the father (often in all weathers).

They are a frightening pair who use violence and intimidation to get what they want. They break the law at will - the DW tried to set up as a childminder without going through any of the required processes - that lasted a week until presumably someone realised and reported it.

The DH works part-time in the local supermarket where he uses someone else's name.

I worry about the children (we've lived here since their DS1 was a few months old) but tbh I'm not going to do anything about it. I know other people in the street occasionally report them for this and that so I stay out of it (he thinks its us doing the reporting anyway). We are intending to move now that our DS2 has left school.

I feel for you, but honestly, I think you should take control and move - you will never get satisfaction from the authorities as the whole thing is too subjective.

Nursee, to me it sounds like you just live next door to a hormonal teenager and a mother who isn't coping with all the crap that teenagers do.

carabos, on the other hand, you seem to have real nightmare neighbours, good luck with the move.

Do they own or rent?

they're council tenants i believe

Try really really hard to find a way to move. This is your HOME, your sanctuary from the world and it should be a safe and relaxing place, not somewhere you are on edge and stressed out. That applies to your DS too - it's his home as well.

Then the council can help you. Mediation, or getting them out if they don't comply

I'd report to the anti social behaviour team at the council. They will deal with the matter regardless of whether they are council tenants or not.

I made enquiries on behalf of my mum who is having problems with her neighbour. They do have ways of dealing without making it obvious the report is from you. A lady from the council visited everyone on the street including the offending house to make it look like they were doing routine checks.

we only moved here 2 years ago and its our first house and first mortgage....why the hell should I be hounded out of my home?

You shouldnt have to be hounded out, but there is also not much you can do because these sort of people are not going to suddenly turn into nice neighbours .. ever.

You can hope they get kicked out, or move.. but other than that there isnt really anything you can do unfortunately.

You do have my sympathy though, it is horrible having people like that living near you.

I know this sounds like I'm ass-licking a fully paid up member of the Worra supporters club but she's right again. It does sound like teenaged drama llama stuff and SS won't be interested if she's post 16 or even, in the case of the majority of SS offices cases, if she's just nearing it.

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this I feel your pain after living in an Edwardian terraced house for 8 yrs: the walls just weren't up to coping with modern life's noise levels. We had a b2let property adjoining - first set of neighbours were just about ok but did a moonlit flit, property was then empty for over 6 mths (it got broken into once, but hey ho), next tenants were nice and didn't play loud music - we were v lucky, they stayed for about 4 yrs, until our DS was almost 2.

Our situation was rather different to yours in that we had planned to move anyway, but our move was accelerated by 12 months after a noisy, inconsiderate twat of a woman arrived next door. She only stayed for 6 months, during which time we put the house on the market and sold it. We were living in an inner-city area with a lot of transient tenants, and the uncertainty of not knowing who would move in every 6 months or so was getting too much to cope with cope with.

2 days before we moved out, the next set of tenants moved in next door. On their first night there I saw the bloke pissing into the hedge which divided our front yards, and later that night I heard him screaming at (I presume) his partner in way that actually worried me - you know when you can hear that edge of impending violence in someone's voice? [shudder]

Anyway, sorry for long post but I have to say that I think you should move. I know it must be galling for you, but the stress of living with bad neighbours is insidious and puts you permanently on edge - it just isn't worth it and you have the chance to move whilst your DS is still comparatively unaware of his surroundings. If these people are council tenants they will be v difficult to shift, and if they are private tenants most landlords are just greedy fuckers who only care about picking up the rent.

The good news appears to be that you are in the south-east, so you should still be able to sell ok and not lose money. After we moved, I realised that if we had stuck to our original plan we would have really struggled to sell at all, due to a combination of collapsing demand and riots in our old area. So, perhaps everything happens for a reason. I don't think my erstwhile neighbour will be reading this (more of a Netmums gals, I reckon), but thanks anyway Lydia, YOU TWAT

i REALLY feel for you!! we had same problem on one side in terraced house, crammed with loads of very young non english speaking romanians and lithuanians. sadly there was a house fire, no one hurt - but i though my house was going to burn down, it was terryfying. the council will fully and absoluty refused four different households telling them that the house was occupied by at least 8 people.

we had to move out of our own home after 2 years of anti social behaviour.

in the end for the time being the fire was the best thing to happen as I kicked up such a stink all round that the landlords were under some pressure to get nicer lodgeres and have a family in now.

i would suggest a diary, video evidence, photos etc....go to EH departmnet, ask any other neighbours if they have been affected...i found it so helpful in every way when i finally chatted to the neighbour on the other side, who had same probs as me....of course if you do complain to council then you will have to declare this of course.