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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you have done? Paying for friend.

26 replies

Alligatorpie · 26/04/2012 16:07

my friend took my dd one day when I had to work- my dd and her dd play really well together and they really only call someone when they need feeding. We do lots of play dates at each others houses and the girls are no problem at all.
I offered to take her for a pedicure as a thank you, she won't take money as she says it is easier to have my dd as then her dd has a playmate.
She is a lovely person.
We went for pedicures and had a great chat. She also decided to get her eyebrows and upper lip done. She said she would pay for them, but I said it was my treat.
Would you have paid or everything, or just the pedicure? I don't mind paying, I actually thought I would thank her by getting more than just the pedicure, i just wondered what others think. Cheers!

OP posts:
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 26/04/2012 16:08

If you felt that you wanted to pay for everything then that's fine, whatever is right for you is the right decision :)

valiumredhead · 26/04/2012 16:08

I'd have paid too. You sound like a nice friend :)

mollymole · 26/04/2012 16:09

I do not understand your question
She said she would pay for them
You said it was your treat
So why are you asking if you should have paid when she offered to pay and you declined

Sparklingbrook · 26/04/2012 16:09

I think it was lovely that you paid and I am sure she thought so too. Smile

lisad123 · 26/04/2012 16:10

Well you offered. She said she would pay for the extras she had done, you said you would pay for them all.
I'm not quite sure what you are asking here?Confused

curiositykitten · 26/04/2012 16:10

I wouldn't have paid. I wouldn't have taken her for a pedicure in the first place. I wouldn't have offered her cash either, tbh. I'd have just offered to have her DD one day in return.

Shinyshoes1 · 26/04/2012 16:11

for the price of the lip wax and eyebrow wax, I'm guessing a tenner on top, if it was part of an afternoon of beauty treatments I 'd have paid for it all.
for her.

A friend help us move house, I paid for the evening out , I paid for his cinema ticket and his meal when we and another friend went out for a curry

knowitallstrikesagain · 26/04/2012 16:11

YABU. I would have paid for a full body wax and some new open toed shoes to show off her nails and taken her out for dinner.

MissFaversham · 26/04/2012 16:12

Ahh, are you saying that you think she should have declined your kind offer and insisted that she paid?

Shinyshoes1 · 26/04/2012 16:13

BUT Like poster said, I wouldn't do this EVERYTIME, i'd offer to have her child next time

Mumofthreeteens · 26/04/2012 16:18

How nice of you to have offered and to have paid. I am sure your friend is very grateful as you must be to her for looking after your dd.

I went out yesterday for a drink with two gfs. When it came to pay I put in £10 and gf1 put in £5. When the gf2 offered some money gf1 said 'no don't worry' and then promptly pocketed the change!! I was so suprised I didn't say anything! Would you?

overmydeadbody · 26/04/2012 16:24

Mumofthreeteens of course you should have said something! Shock Why did you say nothing?!

Monty27 · 26/04/2012 16:31

What is the question and why AIBU? Confused

Floggingmolly · 26/04/2012 16:31

Mumofthreeteens. I would have had to say something. The sheer brass neck of it! Shock. Did friend 2 not notice?
Maybe they were in cahoots and it was pre-planned Grin

Floggingmolly · 26/04/2012 16:33

Op, yes it was nice of you, I'd have done the same.

Mumofthreeteens · 26/04/2012 18:44

Sorry I lost the thread!
I think I was so suprised and were all in a rush heading out that I just decided to leave it. Gf1 perhaps just made a mistake. I'll get her to buy me a drink another time and will remember not to put in the lions share of the money next time! Grin

sooperdooper · 26/04/2012 20:27

If you didn't actually want to pay the extra you should've have offered and she'd have been happy with the pedicure as you originally offered, I'm not sure I undertand Confused

sooperdooper · 26/04/2012 20:28

*shouldn't have offered I mean :)

ImperialBlether · 26/04/2012 20:30

I don't understand the question. IS there a question? It sounds like a stealth boast, to me!

gabsid · 26/04/2012 20:42

I would have paid for it too.

But if I was your friend I would have stuck to what was offered and if I wanted other things too I would have come another time.

Because she will offer to pay for the extra and you won't let her as it was a treat, that was quite predictable - but you now feel a bit used maybe? Wonder, whether you should have paid, it would have been a bit odd, both of you fiddling with money when it was meant to be your treat. You are thinking about it anyway.

Monty27 · 27/04/2012 00:36

Imperial my sentiments exactly.

A self praise aren't I wonderfully kind thread. Confused

BackforGood · 27/04/2012 00:46

Like curiosity I wouldn't have taken her for the pedicure either. As she said, it's easier for her, with your dd there to entertain her for the day. Friends help each other out when they can. The "proper" ettiquette in this situation (IMVHO) is to be available when your friend needs helping out (and, of course, expect no reward for that).

Spamspamspam · 27/04/2012 14:18

Now I know I should just close the thread but I am intrigued as to why anyone would post this? What is the point/agenda/question? What if your friend happens to be a member of mums net ands reads it, you would look like a prize numpty then! Gah!!!

Sandalwood · 27/04/2012 14:22

I can have your DD if your friend's ever busy.

diddl · 27/04/2012 14:43

I´d have paid for the extras-assuming that was OK with her & not boasted on here about it.

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