AIBU in buying a new condom?

[TiggyD]

I'm not sure what type to get. My current one just isn't up to the job after years of washing and re-rolling semen now squirts out the holes like a sprinkler filled with vanilla blancmange. Also, as I never like to keep them in the nasty medical looking foil wrappers, I have a nice carved box made from cedar wood to keep it in, so would need a neutral coloured one. No garish oranges or metalic finishes. Does Cath kidston do any nice floral ones?
I'll miss old Spurty but maybe until I find the right one for me I could rent them as and when I need them? I wouldn't want to get a little rash and splurge out on something that won't last for more than a couple of years.

Have you been watching Wish You Were Here?

Up yer bum

You could try a JLS one

How do you know this is what happens?

Dont you have a sock for when you are alone?
I am going to help you onto the right path, for fashion conscious ladies (and gents)

Google Orla Kierly oilcloth multi use condom

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Apart from that I really don't know what to say.
Though maybe you should go for a special designer one.
That's bound to pull in the ladeez.
I wonder if David Bekham or Peter Andre have a brand.
Google is your friend,

Also try ebay, or gumtree if you are hard up and might want another pre-loved one...

(Never had the term pre loved made more sense....)

vanilla blancmange? Really?

I think you need to see a doctor about your syphilis - the mercury cure stings like buggery but I recommend it.

(the mercury cure, that is. Not buggery.)