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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to reciprocate two gifts with one?

19 replies

ReduceRecycleRegift · 15/12/2011 16:34

someone always gives us and our LO two gifts each, one from the parents and one from their kids, in the last few years we've felt obliged to do the same. I don't see the point. Its not like the children make/pick our gifts just from them, the mum buys them, and then the mum buys the gift from her to us...

So after getting into the habit of doing it back would be BU to have them round and hand the kids one gift from us as a family, in return from their two? It would be awkward, but I don't want to do it any more!

Or would it be really mean since they're kids and we exchange gifts face to face?

They'll be comming with six gifts for us, a family of three! I want to give back 4 gifts - a joint one for the parents from all of us, and one each for each child from all of us.

Otherwise it'll be:
present to the dad from DH and I
Present to the dad from DD
present to the mum from DH and I
Present to the mum from DD
present to child 1 from DH and I
present to child 1 from DD
present to child 2 from DH and I
present to child 2 from DD
present to child 3 from DH and I
present to child 3 from DD
GAWWWWWD!!!!!!!!!!!! what a list!
but then with them bringing us arms full...., and their children are only young don't want to be responsible for disappointing them..

OP posts:
talkingnonsense · 15/12/2011 16:36

What about one big family present- board game, sweetie hamper, voucher for family place? Spend roughly the same as you would've.

MabelLucyAttwell · 15/12/2011 16:36

I do not give presents from I. I give presents from me. Therefore, 'presents from my husband and me'.

Original poster
ReduceRecycleRegift · 15/12/2011 16:39

oh god talking I forgot that bit, they bring edibles and wines etc as a joint thing AS WELL Confused.

Cutting down to 4 will be a big enough contrast between what we give and what we receive, if it was just adults or babies/teens I wouldn't think twice about it

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 15/12/2011 16:43

I think you should just do what you want to do, which seems to be just to give them each a goft from the whole family.

You are right, doing separate ones from the dc's as well is over the top, and should be reserved for Grandparents only. Could they doing it because they don't have grandparents around so they want to increase what their dc's get?

valiumredhead · 15/12/2011 16:44

I do not give presents from I. I give presents from me. Therefore, 'presents from my husband and me' That told you OP!

I never feel obliged to give anything just because others do - I give whatever I want to so if one present is what you want to give, then do it. Mind you I do not seem to have the present angst gene that some people have!

DeckTheHallsWithPopcornMice · 15/12/2011 16:44

YANBU but perhaps you should mention this to them in advance, so they don't feel obliged to buy two presents anymore also?

Flubba · 15/12/2011 16:54

pedant alert

Original poster
ReduceRecycleRegift · 15/12/2011 16:55

Its a bit awkward, I don't feel I can say it like I would to my lot, they're more DH's friends.

Also I don't think they'ld say (what most of my lot would) "oh thank goodness less to buy" because she seems to really enjoy the whole gift choosing and buying and wrapping process and what she buys us is always really well thougth out. So I wouldn't be doing her a favour too by letting her off the hook IYKWIM.

I just don't want to do it back. I like pretty bows and wraping paper as much as the next one but with this lot it is overkill and while I do put thought into their gifts, I can only think of one each and the second gifts would just be for the sake of it which would be a bit rubbish, wasteful, expensive...

OP posts:
MabelLucyAttwell · 15/12/2011 16:56

No, it's not. Oneself should always come last.

valiumredhead · 15/12/2011 17:00

One is correct Mabel Wink

Flubba · 15/12/2011 17:02

Oh bollocks. Another thing to add to my Shit Day list. Blush

sorry. as you were...

valiumredhead · 15/12/2011 17:05

flubba don't stress petal , it would be embarrassing if you were taking an English paper but seeing as this is a chat forum it doesn't matter! Grin

Flubba · 15/12/2011 17:16

Maybe, but when I saunter in, go all "off-topic" on my grammatical high-horse and still get it wrong... Blush

gramercy · 15/12/2011 17:35

I understand this awkwardness.

I have a relative who gives each of us separate presents from her cats . I really can't be arsed to reciprocate - "To Fluffikins from mrgramercy", "To Fluffikins from gramercy" etc etc but I still feel bad when she does it year after year. I have tried saying, "Oh, your cats are too generous, there's really no need for them to pad off down to the shops" but she persists.

CuriousMama · 15/12/2011 17:39

Why not really freak her and announce you're stopping Christmas from now on Xmas Wink

Just do what you want to do. Just because they're OTT doesn't mean ou should be.

CuriousMama · 15/12/2011 17:39

you should be.

CuriousMama · 15/12/2011 17:40

People buy for my dog Xmas Hmm Never can get that one tbh?

G1nger · 15/12/2011 17:42

You should have had the discussion earlier. I agree it sounds absurd.

fluffy123 · 15/12/2011 17:48

Half price Thorntons Hamper for everyone... Job done.

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