Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For not knowing

19 replies

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 17/11/2011 10:14

Who to address a bloomin letter to for a job application . I know the womans name but I dont know if she is married or not . So HELP What do I write after Dear . I dont want to write Mrs if she is not . I dont want to write Ms . This is a headteacher Im writing to so I really need to get it write . I knoe her first name but this seems too friendly if you get what I mean . TIA

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 17/11/2011 10:15

I would go for Ms.

Nakhon · 17/11/2011 10:15

Er YABU

Moodykat · 17/11/2011 10:16

YABU. Look on the website? Phone reception and ask!

SoupDragon · 17/11/2011 10:16

Google the school and look on their website.

Minus273 · 17/11/2011 10:17

I have had this problem I addressed it to Dear first name last name. Hopefully someone in the know will come along soon.

Tee2072 · 17/11/2011 10:17

Either phone someone and ask or write 'Dear Jane Smith'.

Or just use Ms.

MenopausalHaze · 17/11/2011 10:17

You might want to employ your spellchecker too - otherwise you won't get things 'write' [sic].

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 17/11/2011 10:19

I have googled webb site and just her first and last came up . I use spell checker on app forms . but i am in a hurry this morning and rushing . lol

OP posts:
ChocolateBiscuitCake · 17/11/2011 10:20

Either google the school and the headteacher's details will be there.

Or ring the school office and ask.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 17/11/2011 10:22

Ha googled her name . (did school webb site first ) shes a mrs .

OP posts:
ChangeyMcChangeaLot · 17/11/2011 10:22

Why does it matter if she is married or not? Use Ms, thats what its for, all women should be addressed as Ms.

Also use some punctuation in your letter.

SinicalSal · 17/11/2011 10:36

Ms of course, that's the default unless indicated otherwise.

why wouldn't you 'want' to use it?
It's not an insult you know, she'll know you are not accusing her of being a hairy-legged divorcee, if that's what you are worried about, she'll just see a title used correctly.

lambethlil · 17/11/2011 10:45

Ms is the default, but in a job advert you need to put what the addressee wants.

It's not an insult you know, she'll know you are not accusing her of being a hairy-legged divorcee, if that's what you are worried about, she'll just see a title used correctly. Unfortunately some women don't like it and the OP is right to find you how she wants to be addressed and use that form.

SinicalSal · 17/11/2011 10:52

If for some bizarre reason an educated professional woman takes offence at a perfectly correct title she would make it plain what she does wish to be addressed as. It would be on the job advert. The fact that it's not suggests the Headteacher expects applicants to just get on with it, and not make mountains out of molehills fretting about possible husbands at home, their existance cruelly deemed irrelevent by incidental contacts in their DW's professional life.

JeanBodel · 17/11/2011 10:56

If only there was some sort of default title you could use for a woman. Something like Mr for a man. The feminists should have a think about that.

Oh, wait...

cocoachannel · 17/11/2011 10:57

I can't see the head teacher stressing over the title, particularly given the high volume of applications she's likely to receive. I would, however, take the time to spell and grammar check, remembering that spell check won't pick up incorrectly spelt words if the incorrect word is in the dictionary, e.g. using 'write' for 'right'.

Good luck!

atrcts · 16/05/2013 10:45

It wouldn't take much effort to find out whether she is a miss or a mrs ad it could make a difference. Some people really don't like being called Ms - depends how traditional her views are.
If you google the school the head teacher details are bound to be listed or, like someone else said, a simple call to the school office (without having to identify yourself or your reason!) would do the trick.

Jan49 · 16/05/2013 13:01

I wonder if OP got the job, 18 months ago...Hmm

atrcts · 16/05/2013 13:16

Haha - oh yeah! I didn't notice the date! Oh well, you never know if someone else might have the same question hey?!!!! Wink

New posts on this thread. Refresh page