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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to go

24 replies

bned · 27/10/2011 22:02

My brother has invited me round to his tomorrow night for a meal. His cooking is dreadful though and it will almost certainly not be an unenjoyable meal but I'll still have to pretend its good. DH says i'm ungrateful and that he's only young (22!) and tries his best and that he'll only get better if he practices. I like spending time with him but I dread ut a kittke.

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 27/10/2011 22:03

AW bless!! Go,I would !

plupervert · 27/10/2011 22:04

Could you take pot luck? Or lots of wine?

RunsWithScissors · 27/10/2011 22:05

Go, but take dessert... then you have something to look forward to (and can use the excuse of saving room for pudding!)

Original poster

bned · 27/10/2011 22:08

My typings gone to pot on the last sentence it should say dread it a little

OP posts:

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 22:09

get there early, and offer to help out

Andrewofgg · 27/10/2011 22:10

Come on, he's family. Enjoy his company even if you don't enjoy the food.

Icelollycraving · 27/10/2011 22:10

Take wine & plenty of it!

Pancakeflipper · 27/10/2011 22:13

Take a willing dog ( our dog ate alot of my mother's cooking under the table). Or a strong sandwich/freezer bag. Or take your DH and sweep the food onto his plate when no-one is looking.

And I love the suggestion of taking a good pud.

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 27/10/2011 22:15

i agree with your dh and whoever suggested taking dessert.bless him for trying!

belledechocchipcookie · 27/10/2011 22:18

He sounds really sweet. Cooking is a learning thing, if you know he's bad why not spend some time teaching him?

janewa · 27/10/2011 22:22

What a horrible OP, your brother offers to cook a meal and spend time with you and you don't want to go because he's not Gordon Ramsay.

AllGoodNamesGone · 27/10/2011 22:24

Go! Agree with taking dessert and getting there early to give him a hand in the kitchen and see if you can avert the worst disasters. He sounds lovely

leares · 27/10/2011 22:35

YABU and I agree with janewa, if you are really this opposed to it why don't you cook for him or pay to take him out.

nolio · 27/10/2011 22:44

YABU People aren't born knowing how to cook, cut him some slack. It sounds like he's doing his best and wants to spend time with you, many people don't have family that want to do that. You are lucky.

NunOnTheRun · 27/10/2011 22:45

From personal experience (of being a crap cook) :
If your guests make it obvious that you are...a crap cook (without attempting to be diplomatic/kind/humorous/encouraging - but, as in my case, simply proceeding to the full 'hairdryer' complaint stage), then the stress just snowballs and eventually you can't face having guests round at all.
Be kind. Bringing dessert/wine/tranks is also a great idea . Have a great evening. x

SingleMan25b · 28/10/2011 00:51

I just wonder what your DH and brother really think of your cooking?

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 28/10/2011 08:24

If you all carry on pretending his food is nice, how will he know it's not nice and do anything about it? He can't fix something he doesn't know is wrong. For all you and the family know, he says "Oh I hate making X it tastes noxious but Sis and BiL love it so I have to do it that way when I invite them round".You could try tactfully telling him it's vile somehow, maybe with a suggestion of how to improve it. He is your brother after all, surely you can talk to each other...

wikolite · 28/10/2011 09:58

He sounds really nice and I agree with your DH that you are being mean. He's doing his best.

duvetdayplease · 28/10/2011 10:02

Haha, I can see the dilemma but I think you should go and find a way to kindly and sensitively critique a bit - he does need to practise. Or else say I'd love to come round but we are totally craving a Chinese/Indian/whatever, can we get a takeaway.

If it was my sis I would just tell her I'd rather go to the chippy instead, wouldn't pretend it was lovely.

wonkylegs · 28/10/2011 10:05

My mother has spent years either trying or succeeding to poison us ... Her 'cooking' is abysmal and gentle cajoling or down right rudeness has never managed to convince her that there is anything wrong with it or that she cannot in fact cook. She is completely oblivious and continues to 'cook' even when we offer to take her out/ buy / bring takeaway / cook instead.
On the positive side all her children are excellent cooks and one is even a professional chef... A by product of needing to survive childhood I guess.
Perhaps gentle suggestions, new cookbooks or a day at a cookery school for a Xmas present might help for future events.... Wine and pudding sounds the best for this ine

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 28/10/2011 18:20

buy him a cookbook for crimbo!

SheGeek · 28/10/2011 20:05

You should go. My brother is an ignoramous who would rather only phone me when he's pissed and who rarely speaks to me. I'd love it if he asked to make me dinner. Even if it was a Pot Noodle!

wikolite · 29/10/2011 11:58

OP I hope you went, some people would kill to have family who are interested in them.

FabbyChic · 29/10/2011 12:00

Offer to take the ingredients and cook for him.

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