To be worrying about Halloween...?

[LadyWord]

Posting in AIBU because I'm not sure where else to put this... but YABU me if you want! (I may in fact be a miserable old cow...)

I find Halloween traditions a strain because of the going knocking on doors, reciting jokes etc and collecting sweets. Not that I have any objection to it but because we as a family are really hopeless at it.

DP is horrified at the thought of taking part (we are both shy and awkward about stuff like that) so I'm lumbered with opening the door, smiling graciously and handing out the stuff - again I'm fine with it happening, I just feel on show and embarrassed. But even harder is that DS who is now 6 will be desperate to go out trick-or-treating himself. We've kind of finessed our way out of it till now, but this year I think he'll be very upset not to. Trouble is he has various difficulties/delays and cannot really recite a poem or joke - he'll almost certainly forget half way through, get in a flap and cry.

We live in a nice area with other kids who will all be out and about so we can't really just pretend it;s not happening. It's a school night so can't conveniently go on a short break!

I want to help DS and for him to have fun, but I also want the whole thing to disappear tbh.

Any suggestions? Sigh... [hconfused]

Can your DS who would like to participate, tag on to another friend or school friend who is also going? You could offer to look after a non-participating child in return, perhaps?

If DS can't sign or recite a poem, could he do a devillish jig or something? I really don't think your friends will be expecting a top performance.

Print out some little Halloween messages on small strips of paper...that way he can hand them over and just say "Happy Halloween" or "Trick or Treat please"

To be honest, I just look at the children and remark upon their outfits, then get them a treat. I don't think I actually listen to anything they say

As for opening your door, well you'll be out so problem solved.

If your DH is 'horrified' at the thought of taking part then leave him at home.

How come your DS has to recite a joke or poem? Just dress up, knock on door and say "trick or treat" surely?

Has he got some friends with parents who would take him along so that you don't have to do it?

I do know what you mean, I don't like being disturbed by the door going at night either.

If you feel on show or embarrassed, then disguise yourself with a face mask and a wig. The last time I asked children for a 'trick' they just looked at me dumbly. Never happened. They are only after the treats!

Thanks Witch, that could work, there is a (younger) friend nearby that he might like to go with.

I know no one expects a great show :) - it's more that DS himself can get upset about things like that going wrong - and the more pressure he puts on himself, the wronger it goes IYKWIM.

They recite poetry on Halloween round your way? I'm living in the wrong place. We just get "Trick or Treat" really loudly by children who are dressed in scarey outfits!!!

Fwiw I'm not really into Halloween either, but it is but once a year so am happy to oblige the eldest (youngest has no idea about it yet). I tend to underestimate or overestimate the sweets though, and either end up feeling really rubbish when I have to say I have run out, or really rubbish parent because I palm them off on my boy when he gets back!

Oooh more replies - brilliant ideas, thank you. Yes in the past we have done him answering the door in costume and he likes that. We will see if he'll go for it again this year. And a mask for me is ideal! Also I'm liking the paper slips idea - that's making me think maybe he could make something for people like little witches to hang in their window or whatever and give them one.

Reciting is what everyone does round here - but you're right it's not what has to happen.

Oh yes we generally get spooky jokes, little poem or sometimes even song and dance number!

Arrange to knock on some friends doors so he knows the people who answer, hopefully he will feel more comfortable that way.

we had a large plastic spider on elastic. the trick was boinging the spider at them shouting 'woooaaaah!'. no speech involved.

if you really dont want people to knock at the door, put a sign up on door saying 'no trick or treaters please, baby sleeping'

you sound nice people.

I used to take my DS's and their friends in a little group of about 6...their Mums would come too and it was a good laugh.

Kids are crafty though, they soon learn to shove the 'small cute one' to the front so they get extra treats

wants to move to wherever Ladyword is so she can hear some nice spooky poetry.

We did one year put a sign up saying please do not knock baby asleep (was true) and a massive bucket of sweets under the sign. Didn't stop the little monsters (literally) from ringing the bell though.

It's complicated - I want to be part of the community, I don't want to not do it - just wish it was easier! You know like if we had a nice grandpa who would come round and take over the fun (we don't).

These ideas are really helping though. Loving the spider. Maybe I could have a mask and bouncy spider for when I open the door?

Are you in Scotland? It's traditional to do something - a song or a poem or a joke - here. We call it guising, and you do your turn then get your reward.

Yes in Scotland. Sounds easier elsewhere!

I have to stop skiving now but will be back later. Thanks all [hsmile]

I wish the kids were that inventive around here

Kids: Trick or Treat
Me: Trick

Kids:

Me:

I actually miss it in this house though. The door isn't on the road so we don't get any little kids knocking... I might have to go to a friends who doesn't really like it and answer her door Shame I'm not near you!!

Though you'd be in Scotland, the tradition of earning your treat hasn't quite died out up there yet:)

If my two go out they go out with friends in an organised group of chaos. Only houses with visible pumpkins are visited, and they're not allowed to steal sweets from the small ones. It's all rock and roll:)

Just take him to neighbours house that's all I do, just gom round the cul de sac where they know everyone

Ms DS (3) is going out with the kids next door (9 & 15) , they have offered to take him on his first time out.
I suspect he'll be quite shy and the most people might get out of him is a roar (hes going as a dinosaur - his choice, thanks peppa pig!)
Most of the kids we get round here are pretty local and so we all know each other and despiet a huge mix of ages they often play out together in the year so its all pretty chaotic but nice with parents lurking in the background usually by the gate.

Wish they had to earn their treat round here, last year we got,
"Trick or Treat, and we're too old for sweets",
Three lads who looked about 17 with hoods up who just held their hands out,
and about a week before
Masked child "Trick or Treat"
Me "come back next week"
Masked child "I can't, I'm on holiday"
Me "Well we only have sweets on Halloween"
Masked child "Do you have any money or fags then"
Me "No do you"
Masked child "Fuck off"
Me

I had a wonderful year once when I lived close to work:

Doorbell goes 10th October...

"Trick or tre...shit hi Miss"
"Boys, remind me cos I know you were in school today - what's the date again?"

Cue two very sheepish year 6 boys spending the remainder of the month avoiding me in the corridors of school, while I reminded them every single day of how many days before they could do it all legitimately (with a grin on my face of course)!

We used to say "Trick or treat! Stinky feet! Give me something good to eat! Not too big, not too small, just the size of Montreal!"
Around here (Canada) kids now just say trick or treat, and get told how cute/scarey they are.
When the house still has candy, they leave the light burning in the jack-o-lantern. When they run out of candy, they blow out the candle, and turn off the porch light. This lets kids know the house is closed (out of candy).

Thats what we do GhoulyNuff! Blow the candle out that is - not say a rhyme. [hgrin] Note to self - go buy loads and loads of sweets. When boys were at home and to old to go trick or treating themselves they would always expect/hope for left overs!