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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do they realise what they've done?

33 replies

constantlytired · 18/10/2011 18:52

My mum has had a pretty horrific life. She had an abusive upbringing (my grandad used to batter her, or wake her in the middle of the night when he was fighting with my gran to get my mum to spit on my gran or else...) Sad. My mum got married to my dad at a very young age and was the best mum in the world to my sister and I, even when my dad had affair after affair. She eventually left and brought my sister and I up by herself. Fast forward to now, and she suffers from terrible ill-health, the worst being the chronic osteo-arthritis in her spine and all her joints. As a result of this, she suffers from severe depression because of the constant pain and has recently had her medication doubled to help her deal with this. She also has menars disease (dizzy spells),asthma and agoraphobia (which unfortunately meant she was unable to even attend my wedding)...Anyway, she has been on the middle rate of disability living allowance for 3 years and her renewal recently came in. Despite a number of letters from doctors / surgeons, etc saying she has got worse in the past 3 years (obviously, as arthritis is a degenerative disease), they have now taken her off saying, and i quote 'you may not realise it, but your condition is in fact improving'....AIBU to think the person that made this decision has in fact sold his/her soul in order to meet some ridiculous target of getting people off DLA? I feel so sorry for my dear mum, she has been in tears for days now...and what can i do?...precisely nothing.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 18/10/2011 18:55

She should appeal as is her right, they do this so that people stop claiming,but you have to appeal. When she has a medical she has to talk as if it is the worst of her days.

UsingPredominantlyTeaspoons · 18/10/2011 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 18/10/2011 18:55

Really Sad for your poor mum. Could she not appeal the decision?

aldiwhore · 18/10/2011 18:55

That IS awful, YANBU. I hate the patronising tone of the letter more than anything else... x

LaWeasel · 18/10/2011 18:57

Help her appeal, if you ask in the SN section there will be loads of great advice. Key thing as I understand it is to fill in your forms as though they are your very very worst day.

Most appeals are successful Smile

It is cruel and horrible though, I hope you are able to get it sorted out soon.

2old2beamum · 18/10/2011 18:57

Some people are heartless they have no idea what it is like to live with mental illness AND constant pain. You must appeal for your Mum. Goodluck

Original poster
constantlytired · 18/10/2011 18:58

She's told them she wants to appeal, but they've told her it can take up to 12 months before they'd get round to reviewing it...in the meantime, she has to get by on a pittance, cos they've even taken the carers allowance from my stepdad cos you only get that if you're on middle rate (or higher i presume). She really suffers from mental health issues, i don't know if shes got it in her to get through 12 months of this fight to pursue.

OP posts:
ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 18/10/2011 19:01

Oh I am really really sorry :(

The tone of that letter is enough to make you want to slap someone, regardless of what they are actually saying. Bastards.

I guess the quicker you get the appeal in, the quicker it will get done. Is there anyway to speed it along? Would a lawyer help?

Can she get any help with her ag. to enable her to go to your wedding?

manicbmc · 18/10/2011 19:03

That's nonsense. Get her to appeal and get welfare rights on the case. They are very good and very helpful. And when she wins (as she should by the sounds of it) they will have to back date it all.

LittleDragon · 18/10/2011 19:04

It shouldn't take 12 month. Your best bet is to get help from CAB.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead · 18/10/2011 19:05

:( that is shit! Your poor mum...
WIBU to suggest involving your MP? Dont know how these things work...?

GalaxyWeaver · 18/10/2011 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dawndonna · 18/10/2011 19:08

www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/
Take a look here.
She is entitled to appeal and damn well should. I'd say ATOS are something very, very rude but they seem to be suing websites that have a go.
Appeals can take a considerable time, but not all of them. Some are being heard within a couple of months.
Good luck, and make sure you have a go at the heartless bastards, yes they have sold their soul, just to make a Daily Fail reader feel better.

Original poster
constantlytired · 18/10/2011 19:08

Thanks...she has spoke with money matters, i believe thats a section of the CAB (?). They can gather evidence, etc, but i think they're at the mercy of when the actual appeal date is set. Sorry CITTPL, i should have explained a bit better..i got married a good few years ago now, but she couldn't go. She did manage to put on a wedding outfit and stand outside the church looking in, but she couldn't come in because of the crowds (yep, just like that film with Bette Midler i believe). I asked the reception venue to prepare additional meals and they very nicely sent them to my mum at her house, so she at least got to eat the same as we did at the wedding meal.

OP posts:
Original poster
constantlytired · 18/10/2011 19:10

She has also spoke with her local MP (i'm amazed at her mental strength already), and he has advised he can send a letter, but only once it gets to appeal....at least he seemed (relatively) interested.

OP posts:
fatcaaah · 18/10/2011 19:15

Oh constantlytired, your post about your wedding made me cry. That's so sad.

I would also encourage you to appeal and fill the forms out considering her worst possible day.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 18/10/2011 19:29

They did the exact same thing to my friend and her husband.

It took seven months for the appeal to take place and her DLA and his CA were immediately reinstated.

The quicker you appeal the better.

But you need someone good on your side. So get on to CAB, they have people dealing exclusively with this. They will also tell you if you can have any help from the council to care for your mum in any way.

Also contact your MP and get them on the case.

And make an appointment to see the doctor. My friends doctor was incredibly helpful in her case and made a big difference to the amount of time it took to have the appeal.

It won't be quick or easy, but the more fuss you can make and the more professional people you have on your side the better.

What they do is disgusting. I suppose they think it is worth it to weed out people making a false claim or try to frighten people who really can't cope back into the work environment for a few months. Anything to save a few pennies, even if it hurts people who deserve the money the most. I'm sorry they have done it to your family OP.

CardyMow · 18/10/2011 20:19

ATOS are a bunch of utter cunts. There. I said it. And I stand by it. Personal experience, doncha know. Every person who works there has sold their soul to Satan for their paycheck. If anyone wants to sue me - go the fuck ahead - I have nothing to sue for now because ATOS are the cunts who stopped my DLA. Because of course, my uncontrolled epilepsy makes me disabled, but not disabled ENOUGH to get DLA...

I am SO sorry this has happened. Maybe DIAL UK would be able to help? They tried their best for me at my appeal (didn't win, but only because the criteria for epilepsy are so strict now, can't fight non-negotiable rules, MH issues more grey, more likely to win on appeal). Link to DIAL UK here.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 18/10/2011 20:57

so sorry to hear this. Sad If your Mum is religious at all, tell her I'm having an extra word for her tonight.

Is she online at all? She should come on MN for support. Agoraphobia is terrible and there are lots of support groups online...

missymarmite · 18/10/2011 21:04

ATOS are bastards. I have heard of a number of similar stories. Help your mother to appeal. I think we need to mobilise a campaign (perhaps there is one???) and lobby parliament. They are hurting some of the most vulnerable.

Birdsgottafly · 18/10/2011 21:11

"She's told them she wants to appeal, but they've told her it can take up to 12 months before they'd get round to reviewing it..."

It won't take 12 months, she will get a date within 3. If you can get her to sign a consent form to allow someone else to act on her behalf and go to a welfare rights organisation to help with the appeal. They have a home visiting system for the housebound (for any reason).

I fill in DLA forms and i would say that she will have it re-instated. You will have the carers benefit backdated, also.

ZillionChocolate · 18/10/2011 21:11

Appeal, and go to the appeal, rather than have it dealt with on paper. I'd also suggest that she's accompanied by you/stepfather not only for support but also to ensure that she gives a true picture of her condition.

altinkum · 18/10/2011 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly · 18/10/2011 21:13

"I think we need to mobilise a campaign (perhaps there is one???) "

Mind, Mencap and Scope (to name some) have been running campaigns since the 'cuts' were announced. They have had some of them put back until 2014.

There websites are also worth checking out.

WitchesAreComing · 18/10/2011 21:15

Please have a look at this forum and consider subscribing if at all possible. They know their stuff r.e ATOS and I wholeheartedly agree with Hunty's description of them [hangry]