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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that having a baby ...

20 replies

TheBreadstick · 17/10/2011 10:49

... is not a reason for certain friends and family to offload complete junk on you!

Since announcing our pregnancy me and OH have been really touched and overwhelmed by the lovely offers from friends and family of hand-me-down gifts ranging from moses baskets, blankets, and high chairs to muslins, baby grows and toys. What we're not to keen on is the broken, dirty, down right useless crap some people have shovelled out of the recesses of their lofts into bin liners and deposited at our house! Why would you do that!?

My favourites so far has been a bag of baby bibs (nice alliteration there) that are so badly stained and threadbare I doubt whether they would be capable of being used once before disintegrating completely into a pile of dust. Thank you, I'll treasure those bibs from now until the next recycling collection ...

Anyone else become a temporary sorting depot for other peoples shite since announcing they're expecting?

Thanks (and yes, I am aware this post confirms my status as an ungrateful bitch!)

OP posts:
TheVampireEmpusa · 17/10/2011 10:52

Oh god yes, just from MIL really.

She works in a charity shop and keeps bringing us stuff saying, "the charity shop didn't want this, so I thought you could have it" [hhmm]

Maryz · 17/10/2011 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackoutthesun · 17/10/2011 10:54

i know what you mean

i now have a friend who is having her first in april, got loads of stuff for her but i have made it clear that she can say no

SheCutOffTheirTails · 17/10/2011 10:56

:o @ Mary

So true.

buttonmoon78 · 17/10/2011 11:01

Maryz speaks the truth Grin

Also, OP, this works in another way. If you have close friends who have babies after yours, be very careful who you lend stuff to. I have lent out beatiful baby whites (having been through 2/3 kids). 12 months later I've had them back all grey and dingy.

Yes - I'm very fussy about separating washing, but even so!

Original poster
TheBreadstick · 17/10/2011 11:05

Haha! I'm enjoying seeing the other side of it! Maybe I too will fill the loft with useless crap and offload onto my younger siblings and friends when the time comes!

I guess it's part and parcel of it.

Thanks buttonmoon - I shall be selective of who I lend to. Maybe a quick questionnaire on people's approach to laundry will help! [hgrin]

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 17/10/2011 11:05

I would say, never "lend" or "borrow" anything for a baby. Either give it, or get it on the understanding that it is for keeps.

Swankyswishing · 17/10/2011 11:07

Yep, I had the same thing when having my middle child; a woman at the school cottoned on to the fact that I was pregnant and kept bringing me Tesco carrier bags full of tat, with the bag knotted at the top. It started to get a bit embarrassing, as every time she saw me she'd come over and offload another bag of clothes on me, even things such as knickers that her toddler daughter had grown out of. She did bring a skanky moses basket to the school once too but I already had a moses basket so happily declined it. In the end I asked her to stop giving me things, it did my head in.

buttonmoon78 · 17/10/2011 11:08

Don't be ridiculous - just check their whites! Grin

Actually, I think that I have learnt the hard way that squeakytoy's suggestion is the best!

hwjm1945 · 17/10/2011 11:11

I ws lent a moses basket, but i thought it was for keeps, used it for my 3 kids, then passed in on to a mate who used it for her one child ,then to my horror, original giver asked for it back to give to her brother adn was a bit put out whenI explined I had passed it on the a friend. Fortunately said friend still ahd it and was able to pass on in OK condition. I never thought, after 5 years that it would be requested back.

QuietTiger · 17/10/2011 11:11

It's called "OPC" - Other peoples crap. I've lost count of the amount of shit that people have been offering "because it might be useful". The best was a broken cot that "DH might be able to fix". I don't bloody think so. the best thing is to burn it

Having said that, I am truly grateful for some fab stuff people are giving me too.

Angel786 · 17/10/2011 11:16

Ah OP I totally feel your pain! Afraid to say it doesn't get any better over time! Dd is now 10 months and we've been given all sorts of rubbish. Some useful stuff but a lot of it isn't. All from MiL and she lies and says it's new when clearly been used. Have posted on here several times as each time she does it I get more and more annoyed!

Now I just take the stuff, say thx and give to charity shop.

I also now dig out the junk, I mean useful stuff, from my house and give to her in the hope she stops soon. It has started to work a little bit...

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 17/10/2011 11:55

Not being unreasonable at all. I know loads of hoarders (married to one too). They seem unable to bin all their old baby junk and other stuff. I have made it clear that anything that is not used will be binned.

Keep what is good, bin the rest (or recycle where you can).

MrBloomsNursery · 17/10/2011 12:21

My Dad still has my sister's (then mine) old carry cot that you could attach onto a pushchair up in the loft....do you need an old brown carry cot from 1978? Grin

Original poster
TheBreadstick · 17/10/2011 12:45

ooh, yes please ... it's probably newer than the museum piece OH's gran has lined up for us! Smile

OP posts:
AKMD · 17/10/2011 12:51

YANBU but just smile, say thanks, and put in the clothes recycling bin. I've packed up DS's baby stuff and I know that quite a few of the vests have lovely blueberry-poo stains. I'd have no problem using them for another baby but wouldn't dream of passing them on to anyone else. I might forget though Blush

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 17/10/2011 17:18

I think you are being a bit mean. I had some things second hand (mostly clothes and books) when I had DD. I then swapped most of it with a friend (she had boy then girl, I had girl then boy with same age gap). I've now passed both sets of clothes onto friends who've had babies. I did say I know it's a lot but please pass it on to someone else if you don't want it all. I actually think this is mums looking after each other as well as recycling at it's best. I also love seeing friends' kids in my kids old clothes.

I wouldn't pass on tat deliberately (and generally do recycle things that are badly stained etc) but if something got in by mistake I'd hope the recipient would just get rid of it and enjoy the other things.

LaWeasel · 17/10/2011 17:29

Maryz is totally correct. They have forgotten that there are not-that-great bits in there.

On the other side of things, I had huge piles of baby clothes to go through when PG with DD and some of the things that I assumed were totally ruined through staining actually washed up totally fine and I got lots of use out of.

LittleMissFlustered · 17/10/2011 17:56

'tis a trial all mums must pass. It will pass though, just grin and bear it:)

Animol · 17/10/2011 19:54

some babies are sick quite a lot and dribble quite a lot too - the day may come when you'll be glad of even the tattiest things :)

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