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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be extremely pissed off with DP's work?

26 replies

GeneralCustardsHardHat · 17/10/2011 10:36

We've both taken today off work and are supposed to be enjoying the day together child free but his work called up at 8:30 and he's still on a bloody conference call with them now, the way his face is it looks like he's going to be on the phone until after lunch.

I'm so tempted to go over and hang th ephone up!

OP posts:
redskyatnight · 17/10/2011 10:45

I sympathise because DH's work does the same. I feel ilke I'm always saying "but it's your day off ...".

However, as DH is constantly telling me, being prepared to do these calls on your day off (unfortunately) is the sort of thing that gets remembered at pay rise/bonus/who to lay off time.

Try to look on the bright side that at least you will have some of the day together (I know that's not much of a bright side).

slavetofilofax · 17/10/2011 10:50

It is annoying, but he is probably on a fairly hig wage if he has to do things like this.

Being called on your day off is one of the downsides to having a well paid job.

LizzieMo · 17/10/2011 10:53

In my experience being prepared to do these extras never gets remembered when there is a pay rise/bonus/who to lay off time. The employers are taking the piss. However, your DH has now started the call so there is not much you can do. I actually ignore the phone in these situations. My DH was once called when he was off sick, I told his boss he could not speak as he was asleep in bed, as he was ill. I have also told him he was out when he called once during his paternity leave. So no, NU to feel pissed off. Just be prepared with your excuses (blatant lies) next time!!!

Hammy02 · 17/10/2011 10:54

Trouble is, at the moment there are millions of unemployed people prepared to do more work for less pay. I may sound a bit bitter but due to the recession I am back to earning what I started out on as a new graduate 16 years ago!

minipie · 17/10/2011 10:56

YANBU. My DH's work does this all the time. But as slave says, it's part and parcel of having a high paying job.

I have found that it's not really worth DH taking time off work just for the odd day/long weekend - as his office will just treat it like a normal work day. IME it's better if he saves up his holiday and takes it a week or more at a time, that way he has to hand over to someone else at least so it's less likely he'll get disturbed.

minipie · 17/10/2011 10:57

Sorry, should have said "My DH's work does this all the time and it drives me mad" Grin

PigletJohn · 17/10/2011 11:04

If he's fool helpful enough to accept calls on his day off, people will continue to call him.

If he doesn't answer, or says "sorry this is my day off and I'm busy hang gliding" or turns the phone off, no-one with any sense will be offended.

They wouldn't expect him to interrupt a business meeting to take a long personal call (or even a long business call would not go down at all well)

mirai · 17/10/2011 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

minipie · 17/10/2011 11:45

Piglet it entirely depends on your job. Unfortunately part of DH's unofficial job description is that he is available at all times if needed. The same applies to my job, to a lesser degree. If we simply didn't answer our phones, or said we were busy hang gliding, they would be pretty unimpressed and it doubtless would be remembered, negatively, at promotion/pay/redundancy time. It's part and parcel of the job. The flip side is we get paid well.

PigletJohn · 17/10/2011 11:52

so when he IS hang gliding, or trekking in the Antarctic and has no phone availability, or is in a hospital bed, does the company grind to a halt? I think not.

When he is in a meeting with clients, do people phone him to interrupt with a 2-hour conference call? I think not.

When he's on a 2-hour conference call, do people come and interrupt him for a different 2-hour conference call? I think not.

When he's giving evidence in court, do people interrupt him to talk about something else? I think not.

Nobody is always available or always intererruptible.

I can just see you sitting up on your death-bed, saying "I wish I'd spent more time at the office"

AKMD · 17/10/2011 12:01

YANBU. I work for a mahoosive company based in Scandinavia and all of the senior directors and the CEO took 4 weeks off at the same time just before the UK summer break and headed off to their mountain shacks with no phone signal and no internet connection. Of course, absolutely no problems came up that needed someone to make an executive decision at board level during that month Hmm But... the company hasn't imploded, no one has died, no big customers have been lost. So I'll remember that next time a conference call is scheduled for a UK bank holiday and ignore the phone.

And no, no one remembers that you answer emails at 3am. If you start doing crazy stuff like that, it just becomes the norm and they get hacked off when you aren't available. It also makes everyone else look bad :o

Original poster
GeneralCustardsHardHat · 17/10/2011 12:11

If only it were a high paying job...£17k isn't my idea of a high wage!

And yes. He's still on the bloody phone.

OP posts:
fedupandtired · 17/10/2011 12:13

It's exactly the same with my DH. It's as if he's on call 24/7. One year he even got a call from someone in Japan at 1am Boxing Day morning!

Peachy · 17/10/2011 12:21

DH is self employed and takes calls for advice (he has a specialist online store)

You get people spneding over a k who apologise for calling at 3pm, and pople who spend 1.04 who call at 5am and think DH is rude not to take the call. He once missed a call from someone at midnight because he was in a harness on site, and got sworn at. ffs.

Being SE a day off is a rare luxury, when one is truly warranted- eg for a birthday- the phone goes off or we go away from it.

HappyAsIAm · 17/10/2011 12:24

YADNBU - especially when I see how much your DP earns. Its nowhere near recompense for having to give up so much of his own time.

This happens to my DH constantly, but he is a high earner and much as it annoys the hell out of me, we both know that we have to swallow it. We work at the same firm, and I know what is expected of someone in his position, and this is it.

There have been countless days when DH has had holiday, and he has had to work a large chunk of it. We took a week off this summer, and DH worked a full day of his holiday whilstw e were overseas. It is only if we book 3 weeks holiday that he gets left alone (and is just disturbed by emails, I mean, rather than calls). Only then do other colleagues pick up his work.

fedupofnamechanging · 17/10/2011 12:24

What your husband is allowing his employer to do, is to say that his time is not valuable and can be interrupted at will. Your husband should never have taken this call. However, now that he has, your dh needs to cancel his day off and re book it - not lose this as a days holiday that he never really had.

Next time, insist that your dh's time is treated as important and worthy of respect and don't let him take work calls on his day off.

If you let people walk all over you, then they will - there is no incentive for the employer to sort things out on their own if they can get some other mug to do it for them on their day off. Tell your dh that if he wants to be respected, he needs to behave as if he is worthy of respect and that means not letting people take the piss.

I'd view this differently if he had a highly paid job, where he is being rewarded for going the extra mile, but for £17k then, no, he's not being paid enough to put himself out like this.

Ciske · 17/10/2011 12:29

Your DH has to speak to his employer and make sure that when he's off, there is adequate cover available to do his work. This might mean he has to keep a colleague up to date or train them on aspects of his job. It's called managing people and his boss should learn how to do it.

If he's so important that the company grinds to a halt during his absence, he needs to get paid a hell of a lot more than £17k.

AKMD · 17/10/2011 12:29

£17k? No. He doesn't get paid enough to be giving up his holiday for free. Stage a workman cutting through the phone line :o

Want2bSupermum · 17/10/2011 13:03

At this wage your DH shouldn't be making such important decisions so don't see why he is needed on a call on his day off.

DH has a lot of people who work for him. He has a matrix of coverage and ensures that holiday is coordinated. Any meeting is recorded through an email being sent out listing the bullet points of what was discussed. It enables anyone who is out of the office to catch up easily. Your DH's boss might want to implement this.

Also, when your DH goes back to work tomorrow he should let HR know that he was working in the morning so to only deduct half a day of holiday, not the whole day.

Ephiny · 17/10/2011 13:11

DPs work is the same (and so was mine when I worked in a similar role), the calls in the middle of the night (when US/Asia markets are open) are the worst. But you just accept it when you've chosen to work in a long-hours sector - after all you could always quit and take a less stressful but lower paid job (as I did in the end!)

I'm surprised to see this for someone on 17K though. Is he part time? Even then it isn't a lot, and they should be respecting his non-work days and not calling him then. If he's working all morning, he should ask for that to be added to his holiday allowance.

wicketkeeper · 17/10/2011 13:15

In my experience it's the ones who earn most who have the experience/confidence to say no to calls 'out of hours'.

BarnMummy · 17/10/2011 13:17

Totally agree that he is not being paid enough to make this sacrifice. It winds me up when DH's work do this (especially as he is usually at work 7am - 8pm+ to start with), but he works in corporate finance and it goes with the territory, so they are compensated properly for it.

Also DH will always ensure that if a day off is lost to work, then it goes down as a work day - I don't see why our family should lose out on time together, even if the money is good.

makingmama · 17/10/2011 13:18

YANBU. My dh earns 22K so not much more and this always happens (although not to the extent of taking up soooo much of your time). We usually just have to put up with 2 or 3 15-30mins phone calls most days he is off, bar weekends. Drives me insane.

wordfactory · 17/10/2011 13:19

My goodness, what does he do that he is needed on a day off for £17k?

DH has a job just like this but is paid a king's ransome. He wouldn't be constantly available if he wasn't paid so well.

scottishmummy · 17/10/2011 13:19

for 17k onerous demands seems excessive
is it voluntary sector/charity?is he part time?