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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To reply to this facebook post re abortion? (sensitive)

20 replies

facebookdilemma · 14/10/2011 12:25

Namechanged because if I do post on facebook I will out myself!

One of my 'friends' has posted a story on facebook about abortion from a fetus's point of view. I won't post it here as I think the fewer people who read it the better, but it's written very much with the intention of making anyone who has had or is considering abortion feel guilty. It also has a picture at that top of an aborted (I presume) fetus, on a bloodstained towel. It is sitting at the top of my news feed and presumably is on many other people's. I don't know if this is one of those viral facebook things or not, although it says it was written by someone else, not my friend.

Now, I am completely against abortion, and if anyone would like to debate my view with me that's fine, but I think this is a terrible thing to post on facebook. How many of her friends will have had an abortion, or lost a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth? I'm guessing quite a few. Imagine how they will feel when they see this. Completely not the way to change someone's opinion about abortion.

I feel I ought to post something but am a coward. I knew her briefly 4 years ago and haven't communicated with her since so really don't care if she defriends me. But I don't like any sort of confrontation! I should post something, shouldn't I? Or should I send her a private message?

Come and persuade me!

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 14/10/2011 12:27

If YOU feel something about this you should post if you want to. You shouldn't take up the mantle for other people though... if they want to, they'll post for themselves, or ignore it or delete the post from their newsfeeds. It's really not a big deal but it's a personal thing from person to person and everybody has the right to feel the way they do about it.

aldiwhore · 14/10/2011 12:27

I think thsi was covered a few weeks back on this forum. Its sick and I would certainly send her a message outlining your disgust and concern for others... if she gets mardy, write on her wall for all her friends to see, because there may be a few that have been extremely upset, and seeing a word or two from another person may just make them feel less shit.

Depending on the reaction from your friend, hide/delete as appropriate.

GrumpyInRepose · 14/10/2011 12:28

Ignore and defriend.

but if you have to write what you wrote here, 'how many of your friends...'

beware though that by seeming to take it personally some people will make certain assumptions about you.

MorrisZapp · 14/10/2011 12:28

Personally I would post something stating my feelings, and then unfriend anybody who did that.

I've unfriended loads of people for the hideously dodgy things they post on FB. I don't want to read that crap.

tryingtoleave · 14/10/2011 12:30

I don't engage in political/ethical arguments on fb ( I have mn for that!). It is too public and uncontrollable. If someone is really bugging me, or tempting me to argue, I hide them.

JeremyVile · 14/10/2011 12:30

As someone who is not you its easy for me to say that you should post something publically, shaming her for having such a mawkish, ill thought out, simplistic pile of wank on her status. I think you should though, I'd like to think I would in your position (having binned my account I no longer face these dilemmas).

Someone else posted about (probably) this message last week I think, was bloody awful.

valiumredhead · 14/10/2011 12:33

It was posted on here the other week - it was vile clap trap. Tbh I would defriend any of my mates that posted such drivel pretty bloody sharpish and leave it at that.

Faffalina · 14/10/2011 12:34

As someone that had an abortion and regretted it I can only say that even badly written rubbish like those facebook statuses are offensive and I doubt they stop someone that has decided to have an abortion.

Still, I wouldn't bother writing on the status, as then even more people will notice and read it.

kelly2000 · 14/10/2011 12:35

Complain to facebook about her post as she is being offensive and putting up incorrect information in order to influence people's opinion about a medical procedure that may in fact save a woman's life. I would actually ignore her post as she probably just want the attention, someone with the kind of mentality that thinks that is acceptable in the first lace would just relish the chance to be more offensive.

Most of these pcitures of aborted fetuses, are actually the results of spontaneous abortions i.e miscarriages (maybe you should point out the difference between an abortion and a termination to your friend if you do reply) anyway. people carrying out late term abortions do not tend to take photographs, and in Europe late term abortions are only carried out for serious medical reasons. So basicly saying she is against all abortions is saying she thinks it is ok for a woman to die in order to continue the pregnancy or that it is better for a woman to go through pregnancy and have the child die a few minutes later.

ArtVandelay · 14/10/2011 12:39

If someone is dim enough to post this nonsense then they are probably not going to be able to understand what it was that they did wrong.

Just defriend them... I have the policy that as soon as anyone starts talking nonsense like this I just defriend them. Noone has ever called me out about it.

ecclesvet · 14/10/2011 12:41

Is it that "Hello, Mummy" thing? Utterly vile, YANBU.

MrsStephenFry · 14/10/2011 12:45

Report post as offensive, call her a cunt and defriend.

GetOrfMo1Land · 14/10/2011 12:54

I agree with Art. If they post that mawkish crap (I saw it on the thread last week) they are evidently stupid, and not worth arguing with.

Original poster

facebookdilemma · 14/10/2011 13:34

Maybe you're right, maybe I should just defriend. Am tempted to post something but don't really want to get into a facebook argument!

And yes, ecclesvet, it is that one. The story is completely ridiculously written.

OP posts:

OneNerveAndYouAreOnIt · 14/10/2011 13:39

it was posted on here the other day and everyone was clutching their pearls in horror

didnt last long iirc

porcamiseria · 14/10/2011 13:41

post "what a stupid, sentimental and fucked up post, you DICK posting ill informed shit like this" or such like

then defriend her!!!!! so she cant retort back

fortyplus · 14/10/2011 13:43

I would extract the following from your op and post it as a comment:

I am completely against abortion, and if anyone would like to debate my view with me that's fine, but I think this is a terrible thing to post on facebook.

worraliberty · 14/10/2011 13:47

Agrees with LyingWitch again

I may just sit back with my feet up and let you continue posting for the both of us

DejaWho · 14/10/2011 14:39

I'd have fricken ripped their head off - but not for the reasons expected - but because the foetus picture is hideously insensitive to those who've had miscarriages (when you seriously don't need people GIVING you hideous mental images as your mind is obliging enough)... so I'd have ripped her head off for that factor alone - especially considering that miscarriages are so common so the odds are someone on her list has had one.

But then idiots hwo copy paste every bit of facebook shit going tend to have the IQ of a brick and it'll just go over her head anyway.

Pandemoniaa · 14/10/2011 14:57

It's this sort of vile shyte that finally got me off Facebook. I got extremely tired of realising that people who I'd assumed were reasonable were actually closet xenophobes, bullies, spreaders of grief or just overly fond of truly banal crap.

So yes, I'd defriend the person who posted this but no, I wouldn't waste my time and any bandwidth on posting a reply on Facebook.

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