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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with my dad?

24 replies

McKaz · 13/10/2011 15:54

I work for my Dad in our small family business. I am due to finish up work soon for mat leave. I have been training my Dad and 2 others in various aspects of my job so they can cover for me while I am off.

However, my Dad has asked if he can phone me once a week to ask me things about the job if they have any problems. Considering I am going to have a new baby to look after (my first) AIBU to think this is not very fair?

OP posts:

HappyJoy · 13/10/2011 15:55

i think you are being pretty daft. He is your dad, he isnt asking you to go into work, just answer a question over the phone once or twice

blimey i think i would probably sack you and find someone nicer :)

Ormirian · 13/10/2011 15:57

Yes yabu. Wouldn't you rather they could call you in an emergency than have it all go tits up? Babies take work but they don't take up all your time every day. You might even find yourself grateful to be given the chance to think of something else.

purplewerepidj · 13/10/2011 15:57

Can't he just ask you when he sees you? I assume he'll want to meet his new GC...

squeakytoy · 13/10/2011 16:01

YABU, its a family business, not a corporate blue chip company.....

MorelliOrRanger · 13/10/2011 16:05

Congrats on your impending arrival.

I think you are being a little bit U - however, if he calls and it's not convenient then you have to tell him.

Also wouldn't you rather he call you if he gets stuck than have the business go tits up and you have no job to return to?

Lylah · 13/10/2011 16:06

YABU I think. Once a week is pretty fair and you can always call him back if you're in the middle of something. Plus, it might be nice to keep up with what's happening back at work :)

grumplestilskin · 13/10/2011 16:06

are you on MA? if so tell him you are only allowed 10 keeping in touch days over your whole mat leave so he'ld better choose them wisely

Original poster

McKaz · 13/10/2011 16:08

Wow thanks for the quick responses :)

Guess I just have a bee in my bonnet as whenever I go on holiday (or off sick occasionally) my Dad is always phoning me to ask me things about work that are not important and I am worried that he will just do the same again. It's not like I am a rocket scientist, I only do office work. I was just looking forward to having 9 months of baby-time and not have to think about work for a while.

Of course I don't mind being contacted in an emergency but I just thought once a week was a bit much. Obviously I'll be seeing him anyway as he'll have a new GC but he has a tendency to talk about work all the time....

Anyway thanks for all your thoughts!

OP posts:

kellestar · 13/10/2011 16:09

I will say YANBU, this happened to me, within a few weeks FiL was bringing things home for me to do as they just couldn't cope. Seeing as DD naps, it's not a problem for me to do it then. I didn't mind the odd question, but in hindsight wish I'd not answered a thing and told them to read my notes. And still had mum duties and no daytime naps to catch up on sleep.
Be polite and refer them to your notes, they will soon get fed up of calling if you tell them that... Hopefully.

alarkaspree · 13/10/2011 16:11

Don't worry, he will probably soon get out of the habit. I'd just avoid answering the phone to your workplace, call them back say 3 hours later and they will have worked it out for themselves.

Original poster

McKaz · 13/10/2011 16:23

Thank you :) I have spent a lot of time writing up notes for them and training them as best I can.... I think I may just have to screen all my calls :O

OP posts:

Dictat · 13/10/2011 16:23

Nice of you to take such a supportive stance to the family business! Is this the same family business that he and your mum built up, so that they could put food on the table to feed the family and buy clothes and toys, as you were all growing up?

paulapantsdown · 13/10/2011 16:28

Babies don't take up 24 hours of your time you know!

Don't worry though, you will be so dopey from sleep deprivation at the beginning that your answers will prob be wrong anyway!

GalaxyWeaver · 13/10/2011 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbbyAbsinthe · 13/10/2011 16:56

Hahaha Dictat - a leetle bit strong, don't you think?

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 13/10/2011 16:58

YANBU he is taking advantage of the fact you are family. Nobody would say this was ok if she worked for Microsoft! Or Macdonalds! Say no.

It's maternity leave. Not Maternity Mostly Leave.

Original poster

McKaz · 13/10/2011 17:14

Once again - thank you all for your responses. It is interesting and helpful to read everyone's opinions. I do feel that if it wasn't a family business then people would not be thinking I was so unreasonable. I do understand that it IS a family business though and therefore I am prepared to be contacted in emergencies as I said. Also, my Dad is usually always the first to point out that business and family are separate and we shouldn't take advantage of the fact that we are family when it comes to work.

Dictat -no idea why you feel the need to be so judgemental when you know nothing about me. My mum and dad are separated and so she has nothing to do with any of this. Also, no, he didn't start up this business to put food on my table or buy me toys!! The business has only been running a few years (I am 32) and I have put as much effort as anyone has into setting up and running the business.

OP posts:

BlingLoving · 13/10/2011 17:18

I work for a global huge company and told them they could contact me if necessary. But, on understanding that a) no contact for first few weeks and b) I might not take call or would reply later. In fact, I preferred they emailed.

So yabu, even if big company. But your dad should not be taking advantage. You control amount of work contact.

caramelwaffle · 13/10/2011 17:24

Exactly what BlingLoving said.

OldGreyWassailTest · 13/10/2011 17:27

If you've put as much effort into building up the business as you say, surely you would be glad to be updated/asked every so often so you can make sure your interests are being well looked after?

GreenBlueRed · 13/10/2011 17:29

I guess he's thought that you wouldn't be too keen, hence him suggesting only once a week, so hopefully he won't take advantage.

I'd do what Alarkaspree suggested, screen calls and they will have worked it out by the time you call back, after a while they'll stop calling you.

Make sure it's only him that calls you though, not all the workers having access to your home number, otherwise the once a week rule could easily go out the window.

It is different in a family company, if you've helped to start it up, to a corporate employer. I continued to run my own business through my 'maternity leaves', just took on far less business so I could operate in a much more low key fashion.

mistlethrush · 13/10/2011 17:31

McKaz - I would ask that you get NO calls for at least a month. After that the best thing to do is to ring once a week and leave a message and you'll get back to them when you can.

MrSpoc · 13/10/2011 17:33

may be your dad will realise that you job is just an office job and he could do it himself and he does not need you any more. Bet if that happended you would be gutted.

Shabbybutchic · 13/10/2011 19:25

McKaz, I PM'd you

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