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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Let this Bother me...

29 replies

fran28 · 10/10/2011 00:55

I am a size 16 and the last few weeks i have been working hard to lose weight..have lost 10lbs so far and was feeling good about myself
I Was out Last night Dancing,Drinking etc..had a great night..Met a woman i used to work with and she asked me was i pregnant ( She knows im not cos i was only Talking to her A few days before)

I told her no and she whispered in my ear...that i was trying to beat her in the Big belly stakes so.

She is at least a size 22 always has been, this is the second time she has made a comment about me looking pregnant when she knows im not and knows how paranoid i am about my weight

I feel so stupid cos i went out thinking i was looking good!

OP posts:

DontGoCurly · 10/10/2011 01:03

She sounds jealous op. Don't mind her and well done on the weight loss !!

Slightlyreluctantexpat · 10/10/2011 01:06

Sounds like she likes to put you down. Avoid her, ignore her and try to forget her comments.

happyAvocado · 10/10/2011 01:08

next time - reply "and you are with twins??"
lol

and laugh it off

PinkFondantFancy · 10/10/2011 01:08

Try to ignore her and dont take her comments on board. Some people are just plain nasty to try and make themselves feel better. Hold your head up high-you know you looked good so forget her! Congratulations on the weight loss by the way.

Original poster

fran28 · 10/10/2011 01:08

thanks...i just cant get it out of my head now, its like a different person im seeing in the mirror now, an even fatter person, i know that sounds stupid

OP posts:

MrsJasonBourne · 10/10/2011 01:14

Oh god please please please don't let this spiteful little person waste anymore of your time and energy!!! I am sure if you've lost all that weight you must look fabulous! Isn't that what you thought before you went out? Don't let her make you feel like that. Feel sorry for her instead, she's probably got no friends with a mouth like that. There's a quote something like 'the only person that can make you feel inferior is yourself' if you listen to people like that!

ZonkedOut · 10/10/2011 04:28

I'm sure you were looking good. She probably deliberately said that to put you down. Maybe she feels bad about being so overweight herself and noticed that you'd lost weight so had a dig at you to make herself not feel so bad. Some people are nasty like that.

Try not to let it dent your confidence or make you stop losing weight! She has a problem, not you!

PessimisticMissPiggy · 10/10/2011 06:41

I agree. It sounds like she's jealous that you're doing so well. I'm on a post pregnancy diet and I bumped into a vey toxic colleague who said to me than I looked bigger in the face and arms than when I was pregnant. Wtf? I've lost over three stone since being 40 weeks pg! These too should get together and discuss their fondness for spouting verbal diarrhoea.

Big congratulations on your continuing weight loss!

ScaredTEECat · 10/10/2011 06:46

She's putting you down to make herself feel better. She'll get worse the more weight you lose.

Just ignore her. Or do the MN classic 'Did you mean to be so rude?' with a raised brow.

FagAshLill · 10/10/2011 07:21

Now you go and use this to loose more weight and piss her off even more. Each comment that is made I bet we can think of a thousand others you can retort with.

Let us know when you will be seeing her next and we will have you armed with something witty.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 10/10/2011 07:27

If she says that again just laugh like she said the funniest thing you ever heard and say "I've got a hell of a long way to go to do that, you're twice the size of me" and walk away chortling incredulously.

GumballCharm · 10/10/2011 07:44

Jealousy. She's looked at you. obviouly having a good time and looking good and she's thought to bring you down.

When you see her again, get in first....say "Oooh not had those babies yet then?! And i she says anything to you....just keep saying "What? What? Eh? Sorry can't hear you!" and laughing at her.

[been there]

HairyGrotter · 10/10/2011 08:19

Blatant jealousy. Lousy woman using put down's to make her fat self feel justified and better.

Well done on the weight loss, keep at it! And yeah, say what Pom suggests, and really fucking laugh loud.

antsypants · 10/10/2011 08:43

Think of it this way op, if she came up to you and said

"you're obviously losing weight and I am jealous, frustrated and bitter, so I'm going to try and wreck any self esteem you have built up in an effort to make myself feel better, is that okay?"

What would you say? Because by letting this nasty piece of work make you feel like this, it is essentially you allowing her to dictate how you feel about yourself.

Carry on as you are, and take every veiled comment as proof that you are looking better

sausagesandmarmelade · 10/10/2011 08:45

Firstly, well done you on losing the weight! Fantastic achievement!

Secondly - I really wouldn't bother about this woman or her acid tongue. Definitely smacks of jeolousy to me...

peterpan99 · 10/10/2011 08:50

just say 'i could never beat you in the big belly stakes' and laugh.
She is just one of these horrible people who want to loose weight but cant be botherd to do it, so try and crush others peoples confidence when they are succeding.
Concratulations on the weight loss btw and bet you did look as good as you thought you did

whathappenedtom · 10/10/2011 09:39

What a bit*ch. Her not you. I bet you do look great thats why shes saying it, to put you down.

Incroyable · 10/10/2011 10:45

You will be looking good having lost 10lbs.

It sounds like she has noticed your weight loss and is jealous, trying to put you down to make herself feel better! Just ignore her. Or, respond with peterpan99's suggestion!

Very well done for your weight loss! "Living well is the best revenge" - keep up with the weight loss - the next time you see her you will have lost even more weight - that will annoy her even more! Maybe tell her how great and healthy you feel since you lost so much weight, and suggest she tries it herself!

flipandfill · 10/10/2011 10:51

I agree with everyone else- she saw you looking great, is dead jealous and wanted to make you feel crap to big herself up... shame people feel so insecure.

Ignore her, hole your herad up high- I am sure you look fantastic. You don't need to be around people like her... she sounds like a total cow. Be prepared for similar comments from her- she is unlikely to say anything nice but it doesn't mean you don't look good.

Sewmuchtodo · 10/10/2011 10:53

Some people are simply horrid. She is obviously jealous as the other posers have said and feels the need to make others feel as low as she does :(

Well done on losing 10lb's. I am on the post baby diet and feel better for every lb I drop, but I also feel insecure finding clothes for my new shape and know someone being mean would dent my confidence. Please don;t let this woman do this to you... and remember, all that dancing burns calories so get back on the dancfloor! :o

blackeyedsusan · 10/10/2011 10:59

perhaps she can see you are losing weight. some people are always trying to pull someone else down to make themselves feel better. the fact that she knows you are not pregnant seems to indicate she was trying to upset you.

you have done well to lose weight, don't let one nasty comment put you off.

ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 10/10/2011 11:42

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt - is what I think MrsJasonBourne is referring to.

Other poster's are right, she is jealous and trying to put you down to make herself feel better. Ignore her, continue to lose weight and remember you did look good and will continue to do so. It'll annoy her even more

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 10/10/2011 12:10

"You're trying to beat me in the big belly stakes"

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 10/10/2011 12:32

dont worry she does sound jealous i agree.
I am not slim, size 16 but my SIL is much bigger than me (i dont know what size but she is very large) and yet she still comments about my wieght (I am pregnant as well). It is insecurity. Well done on your weightloss btw!

forrestgump · 10/10/2011 12:34

She sounds toxic, and totally jealous, well done on your weight loss!!!

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