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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think "calm down, it's only a bloody brake light"

28 replies

BackToB4Beatrice · 07/10/2011 23:39

Reversed out of a parking space in Tesco's today, reversed until I was almost straight onto the car park road. As I was about to come to a stop, a couple reversed into me. They were reversing back to go the opposite way around the car park.

Got out to the woman screaming at me "what do you think you are doing!", "how old are you" (I'm 24, but look about 17!), " we thought you were pulling forwards!"

Checked the damage, and luckily both mine and her brake lights were the only thing damaged. I say luckily as I presume they are easier to replace than dents to body work. Hers was quite smashed, mine just cracked.

I did point out, quietly she also reversed into me as well as me her- but she continued shouting and stressing. So I decided, as the baby was in the car, to just swap contacts with her husband and told him I'd call. We actually debated whether to go through the insurance companies, or just get it repaired individually. As a claim normally bumps your premiums regardless of liability.

As I drove away, I couldn't help but think, it was such an extreme reaction. We are all insured, damaged is easily repairable, and as we were both moving it's probably 50/50.

Maybe it's because I'm a bit "meh" about cars, but really- did she need to create so much stress? AIBU? Would admit to it if you think I am!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 07/10/2011 23:42

She obviously wanted to get her claim in first that it wasnt her fault.

southeastastra · 07/10/2011 23:44

damage is not alway that easily repairable and maybe she has experienced this too!

HarrietSchulenberg · 07/10/2011 23:45

It's knock for knock, you were both reversing. So would be cheaper for you both just to fix your own lights.
Stupid woman (her not you).

Original poster
BackToB4Beatrice · 07/10/2011 23:51

Exactly. It was an accident, both probably at fault. I'm happy to admit that. I just don't get why you would want to create more stress. It just seems so pointless. Even her, very sweet, husband sighed and said "Ooops!"

OP posts:
YouDoTheMath · 07/10/2011 23:58

She was probably trying to bully you into apologising so you'd end up paying for the lot.

She clearly has a skewed perspective on what's important in life.

rhondajean · 08/10/2011 00:00

She mibbe just got a real fright and lashed out, see what happens when you both calm down.

DEADTiredmumno1 · 08/10/2011 00:10

If you were already reversed out of the space, then it was actually her fault, i know someone who had a similar thing happen recently, the insurance companies said it was the other persons fault so maybe thats why she was so irate

Yanbu she should have acted in a more dignified manner, hope you manage to sort it out with ease

Original poster
BackToB4Beatrice · 08/10/2011 00:15

That's interesting DTM01. Thankyou. Although we were both out of the space really?? Will talk to DH when he gets home from business tomorrow AM. Have not actually told him yet! He won't be pleased. Best make him a bacon sandwich before I remember to "mention" it!

It will get sorted, I refuse to stress about things that are fixable!

OP posts:
DEADTiredmumno1 · 08/10/2011 00:24

Of course you shouldnt stress, it could have been worse Smile so glad it wasnt.

Had you started to reverse first, just out of curiousity?

Original poster
BackToB4Beatrice · 08/10/2011 00:29

Mmmm can't be sure. I think so as I was straighter IYSWIM. They will still on a bit of a curve out of the space. I was pretty much done and was almost a bout to stop and pull forwards, having cleared the car next to me. If they had reversed first, they took a longer time to pull out than I did.

OP posts:
gilmoregirl · 08/10/2011 00:30

IMO as she asked how old you were she was trying to scare you into saying it was your fault - if she thought you were a teenager. Not v nice at all.

thenightsky · 08/10/2011 00:32

Knock for knock... not worth stressing over.

limitedperiodonly · 08/10/2011 00:35

It's an accident. It's covered by insurance. The companies won't care because they'll both put your premiums up.

Original poster
BackToB4Beatrice · 08/10/2011 00:38

Yes, totally! Because she was being so crazy, I didn't say anything. Just swapped details with the husband.

The ironic thing is- my DH is a claims assessor!! Not that he would know the first thing about car accidents- he evaluates business disputes, but I should of mentioned that to her! She may of combusted!

OP posts:
DEADTiredmumno1 · 08/10/2011 00:38

I wouldnt worry and am sure your dh will understand, just tell them to replace theirs and you replace yours.

She still did not need to be so rude.

Live and learn eh

DEADTiredmumno1 · 08/10/2011 00:42

Its actually the person who is at fault that will have their premium rise

HarrietSchulenberg · 08/10/2011 00:46

Insurance company won't bother with this - too difficult to work out who was at fault. It's knock for knock (hard personal experience of this one).

Original poster
BackToB4Beatrice · 08/10/2011 00:51

I'm pretty sure it will be 50/50.

My premiums went up slightly when I had an accident which was totally 100% not my fault. They ask if you have ever made a claim, whether you were liable or not. It's one of the questions for an online quote. If you answer "yes" it is a higher amount than answering "no".
Well IME anyway.

OP posts:
HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 08/10/2011 08:06

Some people can't cope with anything being their fault. I bet that's what it will be. She'll be one of those. Always someone else to blame. So she has no responsibility for also reversing out, no, it will all be your fault. Something you have done to her.

I can't stand that type of person.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 08/10/2011 09:04

In a situation like that where someone is being verbally abusive I'd have said nothing, called the police and had her breathalysed.... :)

EllaDee · 08/10/2011 12:04

Don't let it get to you. You sound like you have a much nicer approach to life! She is probably one of those people who get furious whenever tehy make a mistake.

magicOC · 08/10/2011 12:25

Did she/you have working reverse lights? If she said she thought you were going forward then maybe your lights were not working??????

Yes she did over react, it's only a bit of metal and no one was hurt.

Maybe her lights weren't working so she freaked Wink

CumbrianCooBeastie · 08/10/2011 12:37

YANBU. If you were both reversing at the time, you are both at fault. Her trying to make it solely your fault is either:

a) she's a self-absorbed cow - not your fault, don't stress, carry on as you are.

b) she got a fright and over-reacted - not your fault, don't stress, carry on as you are.

I'd opt for b), only because I was driving along in a carpark and a lady driving her husband pulled straight out into me from the side road because she was looking the other way.

She teleported to my driver window to fleck spittle over the glass. Top volume, red face, wavy arms, the full show. But she also looked terrified. TBH, my car's so knocked about the dents didn't bother me, so just gave the hubby my details and sailed off looking slightly tattier than before. Never heard a thing further.

ThoseArentSpiritFingers · 08/10/2011 15:23

thats a good point about brakelights... were yours not on, or at least could you not see hers and the fact that her car was still moving and sounded your horn?

Booooooyhoo · 08/10/2011 15:30

some people are real hotheads. my dad would have had the same reaction, (maybe worse) than this woman. it was awful as a child, he would constantly over react at silly thing. i actually had to confront him about it a few months ago and tell him i couldn't have my children at his house if he didn't curb it. it worked, i haven't seen him raise his voice once since then.

she is clearly one of those people. nothing you can do about it.

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