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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that partners baby's Mother is getten their baby Christened the weekend were getting Married?

300 replies

19111990 · 06/10/2011 20:21

Well me and my partner are getting married in 5 weeks. His baby mum knows this and decided to do the christing the same weekend.

Her problem is the fact he didnt tell him and she had to find out from someone else, so when she found out about this she decided to do the christening the same weekend. She is doing it out of spite in my opion. another problem is me and her dont get along so we dont speak. The reason he never told him himself is because he dont want to speak to her unless it is to do with the baby.

I am on two minds on putting the wedding back! The poeple i have spoke to about it tell me I shouldnt put it back because that will be giving her what she want's. Ijust dont to be making thing's worst between them two and dont want him missing out on the baby's Christening!

Any advice on what i should do about it please?

OP posts:
thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/10/2011 13:47

Except that this is not a religious christening.

Its a party with a church involved.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 07/10/2011 13:50

FWIW I would ensure the times of the ceremonies do not clash then rock on up to the christening in the wedding frock! Smile

GetOrfMo1Land · 07/10/2011 13:51

Why are so many people being so horrible?

When the OP comes on and says something else a whole horde of people pick on something in the post and sneer at it.

Yes some of the spelling is all over the shop, but it is perfectly understandable, not in text speak, makes sense.

She has a pretty serious problem and is looking for some advice.

OP - tbh, you have booked the wedding and paid for it. I would carry on and get married. yes you will have whingers go 'ooooh he didn't even care enough to attend the christening' but sod it, if he is not religious it doesn't matter does it? It's not as if the daughter is religious either, being two. If she does end up being a committed christian, your DP can attend her confirmation, which is a lot more meaningful imo.

Don't fuss or fight or get the world and his wife involved in your decision - just carry on with the plans as before. Yes it is a great shame that the dd will not be able to attend the wedding, however she is onky 2 so not exactly going to feel left out.

Hullygully · 07/10/2011 13:54

Usual thing, GetOrf - snobby tone at the beginning and all the sheep go meep.

LoveInAColdClimate · 07/10/2011 13:54

Oh, forget all my other ideas, I would do what stepawayfromtheecclescakes suggests Grin.

GetOrfMo1Land · 07/10/2011 13:55

This is just as bad as the pinching thread.

Howling froth and unecessary comments.

GetOrfMo1Land · 07/10/2011 13:57

TSC said yesterday that some people were incredibly snobby towards what they would regard as 'lower class' posters - she would be absolutely right on this thread.

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 07/10/2011 14:15

great can we have some frotting berserking Grin

incognitofornow · 07/10/2011 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 07/10/2011 14:19

You know what, I don't think it is snobbery. You have to have something to feel superior about to be snobbish, surely?

Back to karma and her doubting of some MNers' comprehension skills. There are three possible reasons for it: dyslexia or similar on the part of the reader (which I somehow doubt); wilfull misunderstanding; or being a bit thick.

droves · 07/10/2011 14:20

I go ahead with your wedding as planned . If ex refuses to let dd come to wedding under the pretence of a christening ...then throw a massive party the next weekend you do have dd .

Local hall or free hall in pub would do ... . everyone brings a bottle and some food for "buffet" ...just tell them why Wink

Let everyone get dressed up , especially dd and let her cellabrate her christening and your wedding at the same time ! Grin

Have another couple of cakes , dont have to be expensive

Just make a massive fuss about dd having her special day , and being included in your special day .

Take loads of photos and give dd one of her in her special dress for her mum .

Sorted Grin

GetOrfMo1Land · 07/10/2011 14:26

Good idea droves.

Christenings are nothing about the child - they are for the parents, and if the mother is not especially religious, even more pointless imo.

AWimbaWay · 07/10/2011 14:41

Great idea droves.

incognitofornow · 07/10/2011 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fluffystabby · 07/10/2011 14:53

That is a fantastic idea droves

WibblyBibble · 07/10/2011 15:00

Dude look. I know it seems like people are being dicks about this, but the thing I think they might be trying to get across to you is that even though this guy might seem nice now, you are young (like lots of us have been), and in hindsight you will almost certainly agree with people who say that the best thing you can do about your wedding to a guy who knocked up a 17-year-old and buggered off is to cancel it. It's not that anyone doesn't like you (well, maybe the moral majority, I don't speak for them, tossers), it's that most of us have had shit relationships in our early 20s, and this is a red flag the size of fucking Australia. Sorry. You can find someone better, you know?

going · 07/10/2011 15:08

I think it's highly unlikely your dp's ex will manage to book a christening so soon. You said she isn't religous so I assume she doesn't attend church, I really don't think anyone will perfrom a christening with such short notice for a non church go-er!

If she does manage to book a christening she will have to explain why the childs dad is not there!

Enjoy your wedding!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/10/2011 15:12

Good point Wibbly and done without all the snottiness.

AbbyAbsinthe · 07/10/2011 15:23

Didn't the OP say that they had broken up before the ex found out she ws pregnant though, Wibbly?

Ariesgirl · 07/10/2011 15:26

From some of these threads, some of you really are foul aren't you? You assume that because someone doesn't speak and write as you do that she is less deserving of empathy and advice. Yesterday I read a heartbreaking thread about a little boy whose mum had organised a party and a bouncy castle for him and there seemed to be some kind of non-attendance conspiracy organised by the bitches parents at the school gates. This was roundly condemned and yet here I see very little difference Angry. Can't remember who said it, but the worst comment is "So have we established whether this is a wind up or not?" is really very low, as though you expect fellow-taunters to flock to your side.

MN at its very worst.

OP, I hope you sort it out and you have a lovely wedding and a good life together.

catinboots · 07/10/2011 15:53

Er Aries - I asked if it was a wind up or not because I hadn't read the whole thread and could see many, many disparaging comments on it. Wind up threads of this nature are not uncommon unfortunatley.

Mine was a genuine question - hardly as offensive as questioning the OPs intelligence or nationality Confused

I've been attacked on here for far less crimes than bad grammar.

Ariesgirl · 07/10/2011 16:05

If I misunderstood your post then I apologise catinboots.

It was on top of so much snobbery and gleeful teasing that I misread it. Sorry.

catinboots · 07/10/2011 16:19

That's ok. It's just I've invested time in too many threads before, just to find out it is a wind-up/troll. Hence I couldn't be arsed to read all of it.

Ariesgirl · 07/10/2011 16:22

:)

blackeyedsusan · 07/10/2011 16:44

it sounds like that whenever you have the wedding, the ex will try to spoil it. if not a christening then a trip to a and e/out of hours dr for something or other used as an excuse.

she may try to tell the world that your dp put you before the baby, but those who know him will know whether it is true or not. whatever you do, you will probably always be the bad guy so try to be reasonable and rise above her games.

have a good day.