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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that partners baby's Mother is getten their baby Christened the weekend were getting Married?

300 replies

19111990 · 06/10/2011 20:21

Well me and my partner are getting married in 5 weeks. His baby mum knows this and decided to do the christing the same weekend.

Her problem is the fact he didnt tell him and she had to find out from someone else, so when she found out about this she decided to do the christening the same weekend. She is doing it out of spite in my opion. another problem is me and her dont get along so we dont speak. The reason he never told him himself is because he dont want to speak to her unless it is to do with the baby.

I am on two minds on putting the wedding back! The poeple i have spoke to about it tell me I shouldnt put it back because that will be giving her what she want's. Ijust dont to be making thing's worst between them two and dont want him missing out on the baby's Christening!

Any advice on what i should do about it please?

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 10/10/2011 21:36

It didn't sound like families were just "sharing in" from the way OP said her family and her DP's family will be losing a lot of money if wedding is postponed. Not "we will be losing" but "my family and my OH's family will be losing". It sounded like parents were to pay for the wedding.

I may have misunderstood, though. I'm finding it hard to understand OP's posts.

Original poster
19111990 · 10/10/2011 21:40

That's because i am not really bothered what money we lose but when it comes to our families i am botherd.

OP posts:
LoveInAColdClimate · 10/10/2011 21:40

Oh, I'd read that (or assumed) that the OP and her DH would also be losing money but the real issue was that it wasn't fair for their families to lose money if the couple decided (unilaterally) to postpone the wedding. You might be right in your reading, though, Cote.

LoveInAColdClimate · 10/10/2011 21:41

Ah, x post with OP.

CoteDAzur · 10/10/2011 22:02

I'm also not sure how to make sense of a child being invited to a wedding without (1) her not knowing about it, and (2) her mum not knowing about it.

What was their brilliant plan, to just have the child over for the weekend, dress her in an old dress and take her to the church without preparing her for what is to take place? No books about weddings, no explanation of what will happen, no wedding dress?

Even assuming they think it is ok to do this to the child, did they really think it is ok for her mum to find out she has been tricked and kept in the dark while her daughter attended her ex's wedding?

Incidentally, this is why I asked how old bride & groom are. None of this is adult behavior.

maypole1 · 10/10/2011 22:09

So the babys head has not been wet yet and your already getting married hmmm

Either you were snagging him before hand or you got with very soon after when he should have been paying attention to his new born

Very distasteful

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 10/10/2011 22:16

Oh please, we've done all this already.

OP's DF got ex pregnant and left before pregnancy was known about. "Baby" is 2 and a half years old.

Do read the bloody thread, or at least the OP's posts.

RebelFromTheWaistDown · 10/10/2011 22:27

Why are you using your date of birth as your username OP?

PrincessFiorimonde · 10/10/2011 23:49

maypole - as oldlady suggests, please do read the thread. And how (if you have actually read the thread) is this 'distasteful'?

1911 - I see your problem. And I hope that you and your fiance can find a good solution to all of this.

For example - could your mother talk to your ex's mother? Even if they aren't actually 'friends', maybe they might have friends in common, which might make it a bit easier for your Mum to talk to her Mum? (It's just a thought.)

I wish you all the best.

And hope you have a lovely wedding day.

Original poster
19111990 · 11/10/2011 18:50

I am not going threw it all again with people that are coming on here asking question's that have already been answered.

About her being being invited we asked her Mother when she found out from my OH Mother. We brought her the dress as we brought my Child.

RebelFromTheWaistDown - i choose my date of birth because icouldnt really think of anything else. To be honest i am glad i did choose it as alot of people on here do ask about my age.

OP posts:
MorallyBankrupt · 11/10/2011 19:20

Is this Jeremy Vile online?

So OP is 20.. Has a 3 year old and is getting married to a man with a 2 year old child from a previous relationship and didn't actual have the guts to tell the child's mother in person they were getting married.

All that's missing is a DNA test and an Uncle's goat.

Original poster
19111990 · 11/10/2011 19:42

Like it has been said god knows how many times before.... there are reasons she didnt get told face to face, plus it's not really my place to tell her before my OH does, if he dont want her to know then i am not going against his wish's because some of you people think this is 'Jeremy Kyle' when to be fare i dont really see the point in you posting if you dont actally have any good advice to give :o

OP posts:
Faithless12 · 11/10/2011 20:05

1911- How are you getting married on a Sunday? I didn't think registry offices were open on a Sunday?

Tillyscoutsmum · 11/10/2011 20:20

FFS people Read the thread Angry

OP - don't cancel your wedding. It sounds like your DP's ex will always come up with a reason. I hope you have a good day

babyheavingmassofmaggots · 11/10/2011 20:22

yes they are faithlesss - Here let me google that for you

MorallyBankrupt · 11/10/2011 20:33

I just think neither of you sound particularily mature.

If neither of you are are adult enough to actually tell the Mother of his child you are getting married and so need to get his Mummy to tell her like you are 12 year old children then you are both far far too young to be getting married.

MorallyBankrupt · 11/10/2011 20:34

There is a missing ',' after children.

Original poster
19111990 · 11/10/2011 20:54

I have also said on here i agree his Childs mother should have been told and i agree and i also said in a earlier post he dont want her to know i wont go against his wishes.

My Partner is 28 hardly too young to be getting married.

This is seriously starting to do my head in because everything that being said has already been spoke about. Maybe use need to read the thread and save you're self asking the question's.

Tillyscoutsmum Thank you i will have a good day :)

OP posts:
springydaffs · 11/10/2011 21:01

very glad you let me know about the missing comma, bankrupt. I was getting stressed. Wink

Go ahead with your wedding OP. Can you talk to the vicar about the christening and let him/her know there is a clash?

(hope I'm not repeating what's already been said - I couldn't get throught 11 pages. sorry)

Original poster
19111990 · 11/10/2011 21:08

Yer it's been mentioned but tbh i think that the only thing i havent answered to. She hasnt booked it yet so i am starting to doubt she can do it anyway.

If it does turn out she finds somewere that will do it, my OH will talk to the vicar and explain the situation.

My Partner gives her £50 a week and she claims single parent benefits and has been asking for more money so i dont think she will be able to afford it anyway tbh.

OP posts:
Faithless12 · 11/10/2011 21:11

Baby- I googled but wasn't willing to shift through pages and pages as all on the first page came up with closed on a Sunday maybe just my area.

MindtheGappp · 11/10/2011 21:11

Wedding on Saturday, baptism on Sunday.

The bonus is that all the friends and relatives will be around. Kill two birds with one stone.

Faithless12 · 11/10/2011 21:12

It doesn't cost anything to have a baby christened. They don't need to be dressed up etc.

PeneloPeePitstop · 11/10/2011 21:13

oh watch out 1911 the boring troll brigade have arrived....

MorallyBankrupt · 11/10/2011 21:13

Springdaffs, I didn't want the pedants getting on my back! Plus, I do love a good comma Grin

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