to think that partners baby's Mother is getten their baby Christened the weekend were getting Married?

[19111990]

Well me and my partner are getting married in 5 weeks. His baby mum knows this and decided to do the christing the same weekend.

Her problem is the fact he didnt tell him and she had to find out from someone else, so when she found out about this she decided to do the christening the same weekend. She is doing it out of spite in my opion. another problem is me and her dont get along so we dont speak. The reason he never told him himself is because he dont want to speak to her unless it is to do with the baby.

I am on two minds on putting the wedding back! The poeple i have spoke to about it tell me I shouldnt put it back because that will be giving her what she want's. Ijust dont to be making thing's worst between them two and dont want him missing out on the baby's Christening!

Any advice on what i should do about it please?

Well right now she doesn't have a booking so it may possibly not be a problem in the end.

If she hasn't already booked the christening I'd be surprised if she was able to fit in the preparation classes and get it booked before your wedding anyway. You may find it's a non-issue, although it must be stressful not knowing.

X post.

I don't think she will be able to book it in time. Your DP could also throw a spanner in the works by asking the priest to delay to a day he can attend.

For what it's worth I do think the ex sounds like she is being bitchy, and probably getting the little girl Baptised for all the wrong reasons, and if that is the case it wouldn't be worth going to as it is meaningless.
Although I imagine by not attending her 'fire' would be further fuelled
However even you have admitted your Fiance has given her a reason to be bitter by not telling her about the wedding.

For your own sake and for the sake of any children you have/plan to have I would consider posponing the Wedding until he can try an act a bit more like a responsible grown up and sort out his relationship with his ex and his daughter. Sometimes this does mean giving in to demands you think are unreasonable but sometimes you just have to rise above it.

Thank you for the people that have helped and gave good advice.

Was going to do a different post about my daughter but i think i will give that one a miss.

incognitofornow... He dont want to miss his Daughters Christening he just dont want to let his Daughters mother wreck our wedding, he did ask if she would do it a later date as things for the wedding were already booked and paid for but she said "no she is doing it that day"

Does he know where the christening is?

incognito your DH's ex sounds like a bitch, my ex is a spineless nob and probably gives the impression of me being a bitch to his latest gf. Most ex's have some issues with each other, or else they wouldn't be ex's. I think though, that the children should always come first.

Op's DP didn't ask for or expect his child to be involved...the wedding was planned without telling his ex at all. He doesn't appear to have much in the way of contact, or else surely the wedding could have been arranged on his weekend. I suspect there will be no christening, and that his ex is on a slightly justified wind up. The ops said that they do talk about 'the baby', and surely this fits within the realms of things that affect 'the baby', so he could have talked to her about it.

Op don't cancel the wedding- it so unlikely she will get this booked in for little over a month, especially in the run up to Christmas. Don't cancel for no reason

And the ex can hardly complain "why weren't you there" to him as it's her who has arranged it to clash so clearly doesnt see it as important.

Anyway as DF are not religious you could always have a seperate ceremony next year for his dc to celebrate.

my Partner works, he dont have a shift pattern though he has to ring in the day before to find out when he is working so he dont have a set day with his daughter. One thing i cant pull his ex down for is she is reasonable with that.

incognitofornow... my Daughter is looking forward to it, she thinks she is going to be a "princess with mummy" :D.

My family and my partners family will be lossing alot of money too if the wedding gets put back.

incognitofornow... youre partners e sound's just as much as a bitch of my partners ex.

My partners ex has caused nothing but problems since we got together, she has spread rumours that arent true about me, and him.
She has said to him "if you dont split up with her (meaning me) she will move away with the baby and not tell him were.
She has dated most of his good friends to try and hurt him.
One of the reasons he dont like ggoing to her house is because she always try's comming onto him ect ect!

*getting NOT getten....

Surely if they are getting married he can be honest with her and not have to have his own reasons.

Of course I am making assumptions it's an internet forum, I do not know the OP any more than you do. I can only comment on my perception of things.

OP you maybe surprised if you do have to change the date of the Wedding, my BIL had to and only lost one deposit.

I do know his reasons but to be fare its not my place to be putting them all over the internet

If they are not religious I seriously don't see the point of christening this child on any day of the year, let alone the day you are getting married.

YANBU