Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to "accidently" destroy DP's favourite top?

24 replies

mumofbumblebea · 05/10/2011 14:39

DP has this top that he thinks is "really cool" (it's not) that his auntie brought him back her holiday to Australia when he was 15. he is now 26. no, the top does no longer fit him (barely covers his dad-tum), yes it has gone really scruffy, and yesterday when he put it on when he got home i noticed that it has a hole in it that you get a good view of his nipple through. he doesn't think there is anything wrong with it and says i am being a snob
so would i be unreasonable to acciddently put it on a really high wash, or expand the current hole so that it is completely unwearable? or give our toddler dd a felt tip to hold near it (she is very artistic you know
so can i justify to myself carrying out one of these actions, or am i being a complete bitch and totally unreasonable?

OP posts:

TheControversialJessie · 05/10/2011 14:41

Um, yes, you would be.

A) Tell him to get fitter
B) Tell him to mend the hole.

Katiepoes · 05/10/2011 14:41

No. I 'lost' a vile shiny Adidias number my husband loved. I didn't destroy it in case he went really mad, but oh dear me it needed destroying. Horrid thing is still 'lost' in the attic mwahaha.

MissPenteuth · 05/10/2011 14:42

I can sympathise. DH has a T shirt from New Zealand which is now at least 10 years old. It is faded and baggy and shapeless and has holes in it which are beyond repair. I try to hide it at the bottom of the drawer but it miraculously resurfaces every time.

Hardgoing · 05/10/2011 14:42

How forgetful is he? I find just binning my husband's tatty t-shirts is perfectly effective, no need for an elaborate plan. Just look vague when he says 'have you seen my purple top?'

blackeyedsusan · 05/10/2011 14:43

just don't wash it, let it fester at the bottom of the washing pile.

meditrina · 05/10/2011 14:44

Yes, you would be. What if he decided to "accidentally" damage something of yours he doesn't like? That way lies madness.

Just refuse to leave the house with him when he's in it.

GlendaGoose · 05/10/2011 14:45

If he knows you hate it I'd be inclined to go for the 'expanding hole' option. The hole is already there - not your fault if it gets bigger and bigger.

MrsBuntyCuldeSacFunnyLady · 05/10/2011 14:53

Sounds like my DH, YANBU. I would however opt for a non-descructive route. Here are some suggestions from an old pro: Things can get lost by being put accidentally in DC's drawers, or get jumbled up with things you have sorted for the charity shop, or never ever find their way out of the laundry basket (my favourite), or find their way into loft boxes. When DH then asks "Where is my cropped New Zealand top with the flattering nipple peep hole" You can say, "Ermmm, I haven't seen it for a very long time, didn't you use that one as a rag to clean the car?"

Katiepoes · 05/10/2011 14:56

I wasn't clear - you don't announce that the offending item is lost, just stash it somewhere and avoid mentioning it. Then look suitably blank when he asks (up to you how mad you let him get looking for it).

minimisschief · 05/10/2011 14:56

of course yabu

how would you like it if he 'accidentily' destroyed all of your favorite things?

i do not why people seem to feel entitled to destroy someones possessions because they do not like them.

TheControversialJessie · 05/10/2011 14:59

If my husband destroyed my favourite top with years of sentimental value attached to it, because he didn't like it, I'd start thinking something along the lines of, "Controlling bastard!"

Original poster

mumofbumblebea · 05/10/2011 15:05

just to point out, i have put up with this top for 6 years, now his tummy and nipple are hanging out surely something needs to be done? i admit i probably would be unreasonable to destroy it, might try stashing it. after all, i don't want him getting cold this winter

OP posts:

TiggyD · 05/10/2011 15:11

It would be a totally wrong thing to do. Men need to make sure they avoid women like you. Manipulative, sneaky, controlling...

It sounds like something that Darth Vader would do to his partner.

Katiepoes · 05/10/2011 15:13

No Darth Vader would use the force to make the partner think they didn't liek the gammy shirt anymore.

Original poster

mumofbumblebea · 05/10/2011 15:14

^It would be a totally wrong thing to do. Men need to make sure they avoid women like you. Manipulative, sneaky, controlling...

It sounds like something that Darth Vader would do to his partner.^

wow, passionate. fair do's. he quite likes Darth Vader though

OP posts:

Original poster

mumofbumblebea · 05/10/2011 15:16

No Darth Vader would use the force to make the partner think they didn't liek the gammy shirt anymore.

true, at least i'm just taking a little bit of control over his wardrobe rather than his mind. not that bad after all!

OP posts:

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 05/10/2011 15:21

wash it with something very very red, or a felt tip accidently left in a pocket?

TheControversialJessie · 05/10/2011 15:23

Just tell him: "You look a sight. It's falling apart. You need to mend it, or take it to be mended. A stitch in time saves nine."

LiviaAugusta · 05/10/2011 15:23

Destroying's a bit much and may invite revenge at some point in the future. Losing or leaving permanently at the bottom of the washing pile however would be perfectly fine. Never mention the top but don't deny knowledge of it if he asks as he'll smell a rat- he knows you know it exists and he'll know you know where it is if you act too blank, a simple 'don't know dear' whilst looking busy should suffice!

biddysmama · 05/10/2011 15:25

i'd hide it, not destroy it, ive got a t-shirt i got at my very first concert when i was 14 (aerosmith!!!) it doesnt fit me anymore but i still have it in my wardrobe :)

TheControversialJessie · 05/10/2011 15:26

What kind of manipulative relationships do you all have?!

Original poster

mumofbumblebea · 05/10/2011 15:30

tried telling him, it's all in my head apparently. even though our 21 month daughter points at it going "ole, ole (hole), dirt" (it's not actually dirty, she just thinks that dirty/untidy/scruffy are all the same thing)

OP posts:

Katiepoes · 05/10/2011 15:35

Arrange for a passerby to press 50p in his hand and gently tell him to buy a cup of tea someplace warm - make sure the passerby is someone roughly his own age so he can't write them off as too old/young to understand his unique style.

Shodan · 05/10/2011 15:43

Why don't you just cover up the hole with a jaunty patch (a flower perhaps?) and add some fringing on the bottom to lengthen it.

Then claim you were being helpful as you know he loves it so much.

Or, do as other pps have said and hide it efficiently.

(My own DH hung on to a pair of jeans that had got so pale they were nearly white and were so tight that there was a tidal wave of raised eyebrows wherever we went, they were that obscene. They got lost in the house move.)

Flip