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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU

19 replies

Theas18 · 02/10/2011 14:09

to want my 15yr old to stop playing rugby??

He loves it and sadly is good at it but damages himself on a regular basis. He hasn't played a whole seasm for a couple of years ( tha
En of course he plays all the harder to grab his place in the pecking order and the spiral continues).

Today I am happy sad to say he has himself " a blighty" as they used to say. Were off up to casualty as he has maybe popped his shoulder out and back again.

One day he'll do serious damage though :(

I assume all these injuries are " normal" and nothing he's doing ( bad tackle- neck injury in year 8. Last year torn calf). Now shoulder- probably as I guess someone should have declared the baked ground too hard...

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/10/2011 14:11

YABU. If he enjoys contact sport and is very competitive he will resent you if you pull him out just because you're nervous. Get him some better training and advice so that he can try to avoid injuries. There is no inevitability to doing serious damage.

LineRunner · 02/10/2011 14:12

No, YANBU to feel this way. My 14 year old DS plays rugby amongst other sports and it's always rugby that brings a dread fear of serious injury. What position does he play?

valiumredhead · 02/10/2011 14:14

My dh lost both his front teeth playing rugby - ds 10 is showing the same interest and LOVES it and is pretty proud of his bruises! I am naturally terrified but at least he is channelling his energies into sport. I can't stop him playing it even if I wanted to as they play it at school 6 hours a week.

valiumredhead · 02/10/2011 14:14

According to dh you will always get knocked about in rugby - that's just what happens.

GreenEyesandNiceHam · 02/10/2011 14:18

My son has been playing rugby since he was five. Nearly 8 years later, and no sign of giving up yet.

Thankfully no serious injuries so far, I admit I worry all the time- especially about his teeth!

LineRunner · 02/10/2011 14:18

They should be wearing gumshields these days. But I remember lots of school contemporaries from the boys' school with no front teeth!

valiumredhead · 02/10/2011 14:19

Oh yes, the rules are ds HAS to wear a gumshield - it's part of the uniform.

aldiwhore · 02/10/2011 14:23

YABU to expect him to give up something he loves and suspect that IF you put your foot down it will make him even more adamant.

YANBU to dislike what he does, or to worry about him.

If he gives up Rubgy, he could possibly take up another sport with equal risk of danger, if he gives up anything dangerous, he'd suffer far more.

cricketballs · 02/10/2011 14:41

even with a so called 'safer sport' you will end up in A&E on a regular basis (mine has a cricket obsession and we are usually up there with finger injuries....)

Whilst I understand your worries, think about the positives; you get to spend time with him whilst waiting for x-rays and at least he is doing something worthwhile and not just hanging about street corners!

jenfraggle · 02/10/2011 15:12

Rugby Honours. If the Dr says to stop for medical reasons then yes, make him stop but if not then let him carry on. My Pappy dislocated his shoulder in a game, went to the Drs to have it fixed and was told to stop. He ignored the advice, same happened in the next game as he had caused a weakness. That was his last ever game as he could see it made sense.

Original poster

Theas18 · 02/10/2011 17:17

Thanks all!

Aldiwhore sums it up succinctly. I could never bring myself to prevent him as he loves it . Fortunately the have to wear Gum shields, no question.

However I still worry about him!

Today it's the standard acromioclavicular ligament injury. A&e was amazing- busy but still finished within 90mins incl 2 x rays! A week if two off and a degree of pain. No real damage.

I have to remind myself that his worst injury in 2011 was a hockey ball in the face such that he stayed off school for a day cos he couldn't drink without his mouth leaking , and was 4 weeks without playing his horn..... He did have a gum shield so still has teeth..

( and doesn't even play hockey- he was making up numbers for a house match!!)

OP posts:

Andrewofgg · 02/10/2011 17:29

Theas18 does he share your taste in books? :o

ModreB · 02/10/2011 19:00

Theas18 all 3 of my DS's play rugby, and knocks are part of the game. DS1 & 2 in particular compare bruises and studmarks after a match, it's like a competition with them

BUT the most serious sports injuries, ie ones that involved prolonged hospital stays/treatment/physio were all caused by playing football, not rugby.

So, YANBU to worry, but you would be V U if you tried to stop him.

NestaFiesta · 02/10/2011 19:30

I'm not being thread police or anything but could you please put a proper subject in your AIBU? title? It drives me nuts as I feel I have been improperly tempted to read your thread without knowing why.

Just AIBU to want my 15yo to stop playing rugby!

I am sorry, I know I am being pedantic but it's one of those things I can't leave alone, like litter droppers and public sweary marys.

frutilla · 02/10/2011 19:33

My DB had his front teeth knocked out by a cricket ball when he was about 16....that's boys. It didn't stop him playing. Just make sure he takes precautions, mouthguard etc...

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 02/10/2011 19:40

YABU, but I can imagine how you feel.

My ds's (5.11 and 3.5) go to RugbyCubs and they love it. I want them to enjoy it and be good at it, but not to want to carry it on past the tag rugby stage!

Then again, they both go swimming and I don't want them to be too amazing at that either (think of all the early starts for training!).

While I love the fact that they enjoy being active, I do have my reservations!

They can't win can they?!

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 02/10/2011 19:48

YANBU to worry

My parents were at Casualty (as it was then called ) on a regular basis when my brother was this age. He did eventually stop playing after ending up with a cracked vertebrae .....

But my parents never would have stopped him, and nor will I stop my DS2, who has just started contact rugby. I may not wish to watch him as he gets older, though, much as I love rugby

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 02/10/2011 19:54

a cracked vertebra

Original poster

Theas18 · 02/10/2011 21:25

andrewfogg I expect he would fnarr with the best if I showed him that cover! Fortunately I have no intention of buying it even on kindle where you don't seem to get the cover unless you "go looking for it " on amazon!

Nestafiesta- sorry! Pleads (fairly) newbie status - the face I can't edit stuff is frustrating!

ModreB I can just imaging them comparing battle scars!

Now he wont let me take him to the sports physio because he blames the physio for making him take most of last season off due to his calf LOL. REad a bit more around this and it could be 6 weeks off again.......

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