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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU To Expect a Bit More Notice From the school?

31 replies

chillikate · 27/09/2011 20:21

I am a terrible mother. I work full time in a management role.

DS has brought a letter hime from school (hes in Year R) saying that they are holding a meeting about reading & writing on Thursday next week at 2pm and would I like to go. Of course I blooming well will, I try to support my son as much as I can. But I can't go. I have a Customer in for an all day meeting.

AIBU in thinking that a week and a day really isn't enough notice??

OP posts:

ll31 · 27/09/2011 20:24

tbh would have thought that notice is reasonable

LineRunner · 27/09/2011 20:25

Join the club.

The concept of the lone parent who actually has to work for a living seems to have eluded all my children's primary schools.

I did always email though and explain why, and ask if there is an alternative arangement.

It does get massively better a secondary school.

needanewname · 27/09/2011 20:25

Sounds like my DDs school!

fedupandtired · 27/09/2011 20:25

That sounds about right tbh. In fact it's probably more notice than we usually get for things.

nancy75 · 27/09/2011 20:25

ask the school if they are doing the same meeting for year 1 parents (they often do) It will possibly be on a different day and you could go?

LineRunner · 27/09/2011 20:25

at FFS, at

Hulababy · 27/09/2011 20:26

Just a week for a meeting during work hours isn't ideal imo.

We are having an evening curriculum meeting for parents where I work this week. It has been on the school calendar since the beginning of term but letters only went out end of last week. IMO a week isn't really long enough though and i would need to longer to arrange soemthing - esp as I work in a school myself.

Eglu · 27/09/2011 20:26

That is quite a lot of notice compared to my sons last school. They would have given us a couple of days notice for that. I think a week is standard so YABU I'm afraid.

Groovee · 27/09/2011 20:27

I think that's actually ok notice considering I often get a day or 2's notice.

Original poster

chillikate · 27/09/2011 20:27

This is stressing me out big time. Its the one thing that DS and I love to do together, but I want to di it properly.

OP posts:

AuntiePickleBottom · 27/09/2011 20:28

My ds school does this for staff training days really annoying

freelancescientist · 27/09/2011 20:30

This does my head in.....and parents' 'evenings' that run 3-5pm (but that is another thread altogether). The head at my kids school thinks I'm a hospital consultant as I wrote a letter explaining I needed more than a few days notice of things like you mentioned OP, asI have patients booked in to see me several weeks in advance. I haven't told her I'm not that important...

catgirl1976 · 27/09/2011 20:32

YANBU A week is a ridiculously short period of notice and they cannot have any sort of grip on reality if they think people's work diaries are not full a week in advance.

A month would be reaonsable and I would hope they know more than a week ahead what they are going to be doing, otherwise I would assume they were very poorly organised.

I would complain and explain to them that you work - I expect there are lots of other parents in the same boat so complain in numbers. A week is unrealistic and shows poor planning on the schools behalf. Perhaps you could offer them some management consultancy if they can't get their act together better than this!

soggy14 · 27/09/2011 20:38

you are lucky tp get a week. Around here there seems to be the assumption that everyone finishes work at 3.30 and has babysitting on tap so can pop in for various academic related meetings at 4pm any night. There have been various complaints (to various schools - am a governor so I know that the parnets compain) but the argument is always that the staff do not want to go home and then come back and couldn't possibly stay until 6-7pm.
Am always unsymphathetic as I worked as a secondary teacher and always had plenty enough work to be able to assume myself at school until 7pm and all our parents evenings were 6.30 - 10 (in theory, 11 in practice).

PorkChopSter · 27/09/2011 20:40

After lots of complaints parental consultation, our school publishes all dates a year in advance. Provisional calendar out in July, confirmed in September. So it is possible.

troisgarcons · 27/09/2011 20:44

Im going to camp firmly on your side - having been in that position - schools should remember that parents do work and frankly - I'd like about 3 years notice of anything.

HumphreyCobbler · 27/09/2011 20:46

that is not enough notice

do remember though that many teachers are also parents, no one is judging working parents. This school is just being disorganised.

my school does dates a year in advance whenever possible.

littleducks · 27/09/2011 20:51

It is common, in fact probably is more notice than many people get but tbh I dont think that makes it 'good practice.'

DD is in yr 1 and I have been to reading 7 writing evenings and maths info meetings and I don't think that you will be missing out on much.

I would ask for any handouts/flyers they will be giving out, most of what is said is written on this at dd's school. I am sure they could explain any vital info to you (like book change day/ day any hwk is set or due) before school.

snetter · 27/09/2011 20:53

Not sure if I think you are being unreasonable OP. Can see it must be frustrating though, when you can't rearrange meetings etc.

However catgirl1976 you sound like someone who would be very difficult to please, and your tone is extremely patronising. Have you ever worked in a school? Do you think you could do a better job of organisation? Go on then. I await your ideas of how to sort it, with bated breath...

bluelaguna · 27/09/2011 20:56

Don't take it personally OP!

They did a similar thing at our school and a friend of mine couldn't go due to work. All you need to do is say to the teacher that you would really like to go to the meeting but you can't so can you please see him/her for 15 minutes separately at a convenient time to both of you so that he/she can tell you all the essential info. That's what my friend did, no problems for anyone. Just ask.

OtterBjitch · 27/09/2011 20:56

It is not a lot of notice, but if it's any consolation, these reading/curriculum meetings are not aimed at you if you already care about how to help your child do their best.

Do you enjoy sharing books with your child?
Do you understand how to sound out words?
Do you know the common 'tricky' words which can't be sounded out?
Do you help your child practise any spellings?

It's the parents who answer 'no' to the above that they want to see. And they won't turn up anyway, working or not.

Your child will hopefully bring home a hand-out which you can look at together in your own time.

catgirl1976 · 27/09/2011 20:56

If a school does not have its activties planned out more than a week in advance then I think a small comittee of the reception children could do a better job of organising it.

Perhaps, like porkchopsters school they could work things out in advance and publish provisional calendars annually. I doubt it would actually be difficult. And I am not hard to please I just would expect a school to be more organised than this which is hardly unreasonable.

Catsmamma · 27/09/2011 21:01

I am deeply jealous of your week+ notice, but no it really isn't good enough.

and ime it does NOT get better at senior school, because they seem to think they can drip feed info to us via the children instead of sending home notes!

YANBU!

Original poster

chillikate · 27/09/2011 21:04

I'm happy to organise my work diary to see them at 2.30, just I can't at that short notice.

I do care about DS education and I have read up on it but I don't feel like I know what I'm doing. DS has been begging to be able to read for over a year now. His nursery were unwilling to support so I have done my best (actually I've not done much, just answred his questions). He knows all the letter sounds (but teacher says not as purely as he should - when nursery did teach it was duh, not d). But now he can do that I'm stuck, the harder sounds like oo, ie, ea, ou etc.. I just don't know how to do. You could say I've been waiting a year for this meeting.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 27/09/2011 21:06

Our school always holds 2 of these...one in the day and one in the evening

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