Am I Being Poetical?

[OTheHugeRaveningWolef]

At this time of year it is seasonable
For opinions twatty or treasonable.
But could it be time
To declaim them in rhyme?
Mumsnet, am I being unreasonable?

Very droll.
Are you a troll?
.......
........

There are some cunts
Who have the front
To post pure shite
To rouse a fight

If it's trolls you would like to be hunting
You know the sort: hairy and grunting
And make you feel stabby
Try Daft Punk or Gabby
But not me (or BupcakesAndCunting)

When asked do you think that I'm 'U'
I usually slope off for a poo
when I've had a good think
and made a big stink
I come back and give you my view

Ahem

When I was one-and-twenty weeks,
I heard a midwife say,
?Why not try out Netmums,
And find some pregnant mates??
I tried hard to be fluffy
And keep posts swearing- free.?
But inside I was dying,
The Lols were killing me.

When I was one-and-thirty weeks
I heard her say again,
?That wicked nest of vipers
I?ll not post there again!?
Her words, they piqued my interest
And started off my hunt
I found you, lovely Mumsnet
And now I can say cunt.

Your opinions so varied & wide
Somethimes leave my brain feeling fried
You say 'I am entitled?'
Through Morrisons cycled!
& I glug wine whilst crying inside.

*sometimes

For your verse; thanks a million!
But beware - here comes Trillian
To tell you to Post Elsewhere
"This is AIBU - you must ne'er
Clog up this place with shite;
Or the rules of MN I'll cite"
"Go to _Chat, or Adult Fiction
What ever your predilection"

So, with heavy heart we stray
We must take our odes away
Whether twat, or twunt or wanker
It is for freedom that we hanker
To spread our poetic wings
When talking of AIBU things.

So Lyricists of MN Unite
Let's start a fucking fight!

If you're having trouble, Talc,
Avoiding Board Police,
Consider posting in disguise,
By donning a Wolef fleece.

Those who police the Mumsnet forum?
One must try very hard not to bore 'em
Or disagree with opinions
Of Netmums & it's minions
Unless you can gather a quorum

Ah - the fabled Lupine Cloak
Looks odd to normal folk
Will it avoid all detection
When posting in this section?

Be it nice ham, frootshoots or per una
Or the full moon that send us all lunar
Dissenters may mock
But by Sir Wogan's cock
They'll all be here later or sooner

AIBU? My PFB
Just injured someone's pet;
I think the owner should have paid
To take it to the vet.

OTHRW YABU
It is clear your child has erred
What makes you think otherwise
You ungrateful, steaming turd?

My DDC
Just did a wee
Upon MIL's floor
Please clean it up
She asked nicely
Or I'll show you the door
I said your son
has much more fun
With me, & loves me more
& just to show her who was boss
I crapped on the velour.

cunts will always swarm
at a place they consider
unreasonable

Vair poetical, vair humorous and vair admirable, all of you.

Will be back later if when inspiration strikes.

You
Are All
Old-fashioned
In your poetic styles.

Like the ravenous wolves
Upon your fleeced backs
Your Rhymes
Pierce
Like teeth.

After all...

Nice Ham
Is
Dead Pig.

Dear spiderslegs, YABU
But not for doing a shit.
You should have asked AIBU
Just when will you get it?

Unless you ask a question
Please choose another a-
-rea of Mumsnet. Signed, The Thread
Police

As the fruit shoot of destiny
Slides noiselessly
Towards the nice ham of fate
Womanhood feels the unholy thud of doom
Deep within her cunt
As earth hurtles pointlessly to
an unreasonable conclusion
Gaia clasps her knees tightly breastwards
And breaths her last
aaaiiiiibuuuuuuuuuuu....................

See the thwirling tumbleweed,
The thread, kill'd.

Come ye who mourn, and rhyme.

I am laughing out loud
The wolefs have done me proud
DDs watching Glee
It is virtually talent free
That's all I've got

and all I can think of to rhyme with got is trot or frot.
I've let my pack down as well as myself [slinks away]

Today
Is the day
The warm urine seeps down my thighs
For snoopdogg
is making me
Piss Myself.

Laughing.

'Ha ha'
I say

But inside
I am weeping.

(With mirth?)
Perhaps!

Perhaps.

Perhaps

Ah Wolef
You are quite correct
I missed AIBU
I was however
Distracted by the almighty poo.

You second stanza scanning
Has some verve
I like your style
Therefore accept my pleas for grace
I did not mean to rile.