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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny puts heating on AIBU

82 replies

littlesue · 19/09/2011 20:52

Hi. Well first time in AIBU so ready for a flaming. I recently hired a before and after school nanny. DH hates the central heating unless it's cold as he gets really hot and sweaty and I am superfrugal so hate it on unless it's freezing cold. So I gave nanny an electric heater (radiator type) in case she gets cold. Problem is she switches on heating in the summer and today when I got home it was so hot I had to open the windows when she left and the internal temp was 24 degrees inside without the heating. I've no problem if she wants to put the heating on when it's cold but gas/electric has gone up 18% and DH thinks she must have a health condition. So AIBU? Does anyone else need heating at 24 degrees inside? Or am I the odd ball?

OP posts:
onepieceofcremeegg · 19/09/2011 20:57

I think you probably need to have a calm discussion with her and reach an agreement. For example, imo 24 is too hot. Perhaps you could agree that if the temperature is say 19 or lower then she can put the heating on but the thermostat must be set so that the heating doesn't heat the rooms to an overly-hot temperature.

It's irrelevant imo if your dh never feels the cold, as is the fact that you are superfrugal.

However there has to be a middle ground between heating the entire house to 24, and not having it on at all. :)

thisisyesterday · 19/09/2011 20:59

well i think it depends on the person

i would hate, hate, hate to have to work somewhere cold. i think it's unreasonable to expect her to be cold all day simply because you dislike being hot or can't afford the heating.

that said i think there is a compromise to be had whereby you limit it to maybe 20 degrees or whatever and she wears an extra jumper!

there has to be some give and take i think?>

LineRunner · 19/09/2011 21:00

Do your children get cold? Are they all in the one room with the electric radiator together - surely not?

GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 19/09/2011 21:06

I think it's unreasonable for somebody who spends a short time working in the house to make it uncomfortable and expensive for the people who live there. A heater seems a reasonable compromise.

Later in the year, when it's actually cold, you may need to compromise a bit more if you want to keep her happy; maybe she could have it on for an hour or so at a moderate temperature but make sure it's back off or turned down well before you or DH get home.

You do need to talk to her about this, though. Maybe she doesn't realise it's an issue. Or maybe she's a lazy extravagant wastrel who doesn't accept that you have to wear different clothes according to the season.

Original poster
littlesue · 19/09/2011 21:07

Thanks.

I don't want to seem petty by not allowing heating on, but at the same time I don't want to get home and start sweating.

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 19/09/2011 21:08

I thought an electric heater would cost more than the actual heating to run.

I don't think either of you are being unreasonable, people just have different preferences. DH and I are chilly people, so we like a warm house. My closest friend is always too hot at our house, I am always too cold at hers.

24 degrees would be perfect for me. If it's below 21, I am properly cold, uncomfortable, and that will make me grumpy. It's not a case of just putting another jumper on if your fingers and feet still feel freezing.

I don't think you can reasonably ask her to be cold and uncomfortable though. That would be very mean. If you and your children like her, I would just put up with it.

GalaxyWeaver · 19/09/2011 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
littlesue · 19/09/2011 21:12

Definitely don't want her to work in a cold house so said she could switch on central heating which she did in the summer but then everyone is too hot. I would say below 20 degrees is cold not 24 degrees, but that's just me. My DS is not cold either so he gets too hot! It's open plan so when I got home the heat hit me as soon as I walked into the hall, then to the dining room and then to the living room where the heater was on.

OP posts:
Nagoo · 19/09/2011 21:12

I think I'd ban her from touching the boiler.

I'd say it was set to come on if it got to 'reasonable temperature' and that was that.

How long is she in your house? It seems wrong that someone there for a couple of hours is allowed to change the heating settings.

It might be the electric heater that is caning your bills TBH they cost a bomb to run.

I am tight though. You are not allowed to touch the boiler unless you are wearing a jumper in our house. Also as a matter of personal pride I try to get to november before I put it on....

LaWeasel · 19/09/2011 21:12

Have you got a thermostat?

Perhaps a good compromise would be to agree a temperature that it comes on automatically at from the 1/2 hour before she gets in each day to warm the house to a comfortable temperature for her.

If nobody has been home all day the house will be much more noticably cold when she comes in and so she is turning up the thermostat higher than it needs to be, then by the time you get in it is very hot. If the heating was already on (at a moderate less expensive temperature) it would cost you less and keep her happy.

smartyparts · 19/09/2011 21:13

Our heating is on now!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 19/09/2011 21:17

If I was cold in my office then I would ring and ask them to put the radiators on. Her workplace should be no different just because it's your house. However, you need to agree where the cut off is. 24 degrees is taking the piss but banning her from touching it is unfair if she's really cold.

Allboxedin · 19/09/2011 21:17

I hate CH too unless its really cold so it would actually annoy me quite a bit but that might make me biased too Its not even cold yet anyway (unless you are up in Scotland maybe?) Tell her to put a jumper on or buy her a new wooly one in EWM Grin

Having said that DH's family are Nigerian and they always maon when they come to our house that they are too cold. :(

Allboxedin · 19/09/2011 21:18

Sorry, I don't think my full stops are working!

Original poster
littlesue · 19/09/2011 21:19

I think 20ish seems to be a good compromise but she does turn up at my house in a thin top so is dressed for the summer really. I think she's just someone who gets cold all year round, hence the heating on in the summer, but think I can ask her to turn it down before we get home so we are not opening windows everywhere. Realise the electric heater may cost a bit more but really it's way too warm if she uses the CH and our house stays warm for a bit.

OP posts:
JarethTheGoblinKing · 19/09/2011 21:20

My old flatmate used to set the thermostat to 16deg and turn the heating OFF if he wasn't in the house. I would get up at 6:15 (this time of year) and be absolutely bloody freezing. I re-programmed the timer and the therm and he never bloody noticed.

She IBU to have it at 24C, but YABU to not have it on when it is cold (and it was bloody freezing this morning)

LaWeasel · 19/09/2011 21:20

If you do the automatic timer/thermostat thing it will automatically turn off when it reaches that temperature, you could also set the timer to turn the heating off a half hour before you get home as well?

If she's not wearing a jumper I'd be telling her she needs to though!

Original poster
littlesue · 19/09/2011 21:24

We do have a thermostat which is set at 20 but she prefers 24. She did admit it got a bit hot when it got to 26 the other day. Maybe a woolly jumper for Xmas is on the cards! She is here for 45 mins in the morning and 4 hours in the afternoon so not all day.

She lives at home so probably doesn't pay bills so has no idea at all how much this costs. Thanks all.

OP posts:
Littlefish · 19/09/2011 21:29

20 degrees is entirely reasonable. There is no need for it to be 24 degrees! I think you need to tell her to leave the thermostat alone, and buy her a fleece or thermals. Does she dress appropriately, ie. does she wear jumpers?

LaWeasel · 19/09/2011 21:32

What about this? Set it at on the automatic system for 24 degrees for day 1, then 23 for day 2, then 22... etc she'll get used to not fiddling with the boiler and you'll have one week of being a bit uncomfortable and then be back to your normal comfortable level.

aldiwhore · 19/09/2011 21:41

Put it on a timer at 18-21 and set it to go off half an hour before you're due home. Buy her a jumper as well.

I don't put the heating on as rule unless its cold enough to leave a perma frost outside... but I'm tight and like knitwear. Have to say though, since being a SAHM and spending hours hovering over jigsaws, I do need more outside help with bodywarmth, so YABU and YANBU.

I think compromise is needed.

Original poster
littlesue · 19/09/2011 21:41

LaWeasel - that's an idea, but I am not cold at all at the moment - maybe that's because I wasn't brought up without CH. Either that or wear my summer clothes indoors during the winter like I live in the tropics. She doesn't wear a woolly jumper - usually a t-shirt or vest with a thin acrylic type cardigan . I feel a bit mean even raising the heating issue.

OP posts:
MogandMe · 19/09/2011 21:42

She lives at home so probably doesn't pay bills so has no idea at all how much this costs.

How do you know this?

I am a nanny and don't tend to put the heating on as "our" house is quite cosy and retains heat - However at a playdate recently my nanny friend had to text her bosses to ask about the heating because it was freezing and there was no way to warm us all up.

Please remember that this is our place of work yes tell her that you want a specific temperature or set it on a timer - but nannies are allowed to be warm at work if it's freezing this may be putting on another layer or putting the heating on.

Original poster
littlesue · 19/09/2011 21:45

oops - should be maybe that's because I was brought up without CH!

Those were the days - socks to bed. Character building

OP posts:
Maryz · 19/09/2011 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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