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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw out my mother's paintings?

27 replies

NeedaCostume · 19/09/2011 14:45

My mother paints as a hobby. Her job involved drawing and I think she misses it. Good for her.

The problem is she has started painting pictures for us, her children, and expects us to put them up in our houses. I don't like them much. Some are ok, some are downright dreadful - misshapen people and garish colours.

Now we're moving house and I don't want to drag them all along to the new house. AIBU to chuck them out? I don't think a charity shop would take them.

She is living abroad temporarily but when she comes back she will notice their absence and I am scared of admitting getting rid of them.

OP posts:
Springyknickersohnovicars · 19/09/2011 14:47

Put them in your new loft. It would be awful to sling them out IMHO butyou don't have to display them either. At least you can say they don't suit your new home as much as you love her pictures and could never part with them while they gather dust in your loft

bagelmonkey · 19/09/2011 14:48

Store some of the better ones in the attic until she gets back. The really bad ones might get lost or damaged during the move......

GooseyLoosey · 19/09/2011 14:48

Not sure I could if she would notice. Think I might frame the best (and smallest) one and put the others in a folder somewhere. I don't think you would be unreasonable to throw them out, but it might not be good for family relations.

plainwhitet · 19/09/2011 14:49

Keep the two or three you like the most and put them up in your new house.
Give the rest away.
If she notices and comments, say your children's school were having an art auction so you gave them her pictures and guess what! they raised hundreds for charity.
I feel for you.

cherryjellybelly · 19/09/2011 14:49

I would move them with you, it might be easier than her upset :)

Original poster
NeedaCostume · 19/09/2011 14:52

Thanks for replies & suggestions. I love the art auction idea! She is very susceptible to flattery so would find it hard to argue with that!

Also 'loosing' a few...

OP posts:
PortBlackSandWitchIsThere · 19/09/2011 14:53

donate them to the museum of bad art

CaptainNancy · 19/09/2011 14:53

Oh dear- first your children do it, then your mother.

Not looking forward to that stage of life!

bagelmonkey · 19/09/2011 14:54

As long as you can display one or two when she gets back I'm sure she won't mind so much about the others. She will probably bring you a whole new load when she gets back. Hopefully she will have improved by then Wink

Andrewofgg · 19/09/2011 14:55

I suggest a combination of plainwhitet and her fibs and the smell of a bonfire in the back garden!

MumblingRagDoll · 19/09/2011 14:55

My Dad is dead and I treasure every one of his paintings and drawings. To be able to study his very brushstrokes brings him close to me now he's gone.

YABU. One day you may find yourself regretting it.

[disclaimer] My Dad was a very good artist.

DrunkenDaisy · 19/09/2011 14:59

I've got the same problem with my MIL. I hate to be mean but she has no talent and the paintings are dreadful.

I think it's kind of narcissistic to assume that people share your self-adoration, and want to view your crappy artwork every fucking day.

I worked bloody hard to buy my house and really resent having it spoilt with that shit.

Original poster
NeedaCostume · 19/09/2011 15:07

PortBlack Grin They would fit right in at the Museum of Bad Art. I might actually consider that... but what if she found out?!

CaptainNancy, DS1's drawings are much better than Mum's!

Bagel she will bring more back with her. She has already told me about her latest masterpiece which measures about 1m x 1.5m - so difficult to 'loose'.

I get your point, Mumbling, but my mum is not a good artist. She is good at sewing and I do keep her handiwork in that area - cushions etc.

Daisy are you my SIL?!

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 19/09/2011 15:09

DW and I knew a woman who made the most hideous pottery monstrosities one of which was on display at home. Until they emigrated then it got pushed out of sight. Earlier this year, alas, she died, and I don't think he intends to come back. And the pottery is going to have a little accident soon . . .

DrunkenDaisy I like you. You tell it how it is. TNS!

KurriKurri · 19/09/2011 15:27

I would personally rather look at bad paintings than hurt someone's feelings, - but then I don't actually have to look at them, so my position is very theoretical Grin

I do have a couple of bad pieces of pottery my mum made, but I like them because when I look at them, I can imagine her swearing at the clay, bashing it around and saying 'this isn't working at all', I like the way she doesn't let being totally un-artistic stop her having a goSmile

limitedperiodonly · 19/09/2011 15:45

The folder idea sounds good.

I do sympathise. BIL and SIL are always inflicting their DCs' framed 'artworks' on us. It's really presumptuous.

Luckily we live too far away to visit so they won't find out I display them under the bed and give the frames to the charity shop.

DrunkenDaisy · 19/09/2011 15:46

Yes, I was perhaps a little harsh. I obviously needed to vent!

Flisspaps · 19/09/2011 15:50

Oh no, what a shame that such a terrible accident befell them in the move....

zipzap · 19/09/2011 15:52

Surely moving house would be a perfect time to pack them up into two parcels - one that you like with a couple of paintings in, one with all the rest. And then bribe the removals men to run over the bad ones, ruining them all at once Grin and not your fault!!! (well, to your mum at any rate)

You can make mutterings about not being able to claim on insurance as she's not selling her paintings and therefore they are not seen as having any worth, but that the fab news is that you have just seen and bought lots of pix that are perfect for your new house so you no longer have any space on the walls, she can save all her paintings for her own house Grin

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 19/09/2011 15:53

I thought about that, but if they are 'lost' or 'damaged' she might just paint more.

zipzap · 19/09/2011 15:53

great minds think alike flissflaps Grin

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 19/09/2011 15:56

Impress/flatter your dm by displaying her paintings in a way that affords the opportunity for them to be individually studied, reflected on, etc.

Bin the monstrosities, wrap the best up, store them in your loft or garage, and buy an easel.

When dm is due to visit, choose one painting to display on the easel and put it in a prominent place such as the living or dining room or in the hall.

Oddly enough, even a hideous oil or watercolour daub can seem pleasing to the eye when displayed in this manner - and, of course, a clumsy guest can easily stumble into the easel, knock the painting off, and put their foot through it Wink

Original poster
NeedaCostume · 19/09/2011 16:50

I was sceptical about the easel idea until you mentioned tripping over it!

Yes, she will undoubtedly paint more whether or not any of the current batch are on display or damaged by careless removal men. The worst thing is, she does seem to remember which ones she's given me so she'd know which were missing.

Well, sounds like I am not being completely unreasonable to at least cull a few... thanks for your votes!

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 19/09/2011 17:02

In mercy to future generations, OP, lock up her brushes!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 19/09/2011 17:02

An easel is the most effective way of getting out of having put the damn things on your walls, and it'll take a matter of seconds to fold it down and hide the artwork after dm has left the building.

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