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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to throttle my MIL?

25 replies

featherbag · 18/09/2011 11:18

PIL are visiting for the weekend. Don't mind, get on well with them as a general rule, but MIL is DOING MY HEAD IN! I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have had about 3 hours sleep so I'm well aware I may be BU, but ALL morning she has been singing random things in a comedy off-key voice. I mean ALL morning. I don't know if she even realises she's doing it. Sometimes it's nursery rhymes, sometimes random lyrics, sometimes just a commentary of whatever she can see. I've had to come upstairs out of the way before I get my hands round her neck!

AIBU, just hormonal and tired, or perfectly reasonable?

OP posts:
belledechocchipcookie · 18/09/2011 11:20

Do you have any earplugs? It would drive me nuts as well and I'm not pregnant.

startwig1982 · 18/09/2011 11:33

My mil drove me mad as well at that stage although I really like her and she's fab. I think you're probably just a little sleep deprived which will make it worse. Grab a cup of tea and go and sit in the garden/sitting room/toilet and have break from her! HTH

lettinggo · 18/09/2011 11:34

O I feel your pain. DH is whistling random stuff, whatever ad comes on tv, but at least i can tell him to shut up!

gillybean2 · 18/09/2011 11:40

A young lad at work does this. Interspersed with random 'percussion' noises and drumming on the desk.
It drives me nuts to the point I've had to ask him to stop. First time I said it nicely/jokingly he told me he's just happy and sang all the louder. At which point i wasn't quite so nice about it.

I feel like i'm being a grumpy old woman, but why should i be distracted from my work by his 'happy' sounds. I came home with a stinking headache on friday after failing to finish some extremely complex reconciling. Drives me mad.

So I feel your pain, but at least she'll be going soon...

Original poster
featherbag · 18/09/2011 11:42

I've just come out of the shower and she's mock-opera singing. This is one of those houses where sound carries, you can hear everything from every room Sad I know I'm probably just overtired, but I'm going to have to go put some loudish music on to prevent bloodshed (she's now singing scales in the comedy voice).

OP posts:
stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 18/09/2011 11:44

is she unhinged?

Mitmoo · 18/09/2011 11:45

I think you have to say to her that you need to have a lie down and a sleep and could she please keep it quiet until you get up and you're rested.

If that doesn't work stick pillow on her head and sit. Grin

startwig1982 · 18/09/2011 11:47

Grin at mitmoo and the pillow
Go and tell her firmly to stop as you've got a pounding headache and you're pregnant with her grandchild!! Mention high blood pressure too. If that doesn't work, lock her out in the garden and hope for rain... Grin

BlueKangaroo22 · 18/09/2011 12:05

When I was pregnant, I had a take no shit attitude, so what I'd do is walk downstairs, and ask 'are you taking the piss?' if she says something like 'what do you mean?' then repeat the question, point out that you still treasure sleep (something you won't be able to get much of in ten weeks!) and could she kindly keep the fucking noise down please, and stomp back off to bed, you have every right to be completely irrational whilst pregnant, make the most of it! x

Original poster
featherbag · 18/09/2011 12:48

Have sent her out with a shopping list as she was asking what she could do to help. Blessed silence is restored!

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 18/09/2011 13:04

BlueKangaroo22, while I can understand the OP's annoyance, that sounds just plain rude! You don't have the right to be completely irrational while pregnant, you still should have to maintain some sense of social normalcy, including treating people with kindness!

featherbag, you are doing the right thing. Don't be rude to her, she will almost certainly not realise how annoying she is being, and you may need to ask for her help once the baby arrives and you've really had no sleep! That annoying singing voice will be loved by children!

2rebecca · 18/09/2011 17:02

Can't you just tell her you're tired and have a headache and can she please stop singing and just talk in a normal voice as all the singing is making you feel worse and you'd like a calmer atmosphere. If you say it nicely she shouldn't take offence and probably has no idea it is annoying you. It's not a big thing to ask and should be easy to stop, not sure why you didn't do that when she started, different if you were in her house.

2rebecca · 18/09/2011 17:04

She does sound a bit unhinged though, is she trying to be funny or entertaining or is she starting to develop dementia? Most normal people would realise this sort of thing will grate after about 10 minutes.

ledkr · 18/09/2011 17:22

Sing back to her
"mil you are doing my head in,
with your stupid bloody singing,
shut up you silly old bag,
before i use a gag." add a lovely tune. Grin

SinicalSal · 18/09/2011 17:29

She probably doesn't realise she's doing it.

I say pretend you need a nap - well, not pretend, you probably do - and go up to your room, bury your head in the pillow and scream and scream and scream and scream

ArmageddonOuttahere · 18/09/2011 17:39

Instruct DH to tell her to pipe down. He'll be able to do it in a jokey son-like way that won't invoke a 6 year feud Wink

unpa1dcar3r · 18/09/2011 19:12

Awww she's probably just excited to be a granny soon!

Bite your tongue, she'll be gone home soon enough.

fedupofnamechanging · 18/09/2011 19:48

I think you are being U. Everyone is irritating sometimes and as MIL complaints go, she could be a lot worse.

I don't think that being pregnant is a get out of jail free card for being rude and hurtful to another person, so just try and keep a lid on how you feel and remember that she will be going home soon.

Original poster
featherbag · 18/09/2011 20:26

karmabeliever, I have been neither rude nor hurtful, I have merely smiled and put up with it as graciously as possible. As long as I do that, I feel I have the right to be as irritated as I want in private, and to choose MN as a harmless venue for some largely light-hearted venting! Lighten up! Or give me your address, let me send MiL to you and see how long it takes before you want to throttle her too..... Wink

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 18/09/2011 21:00

featherbag my comment about pg being no excuse to be rude and hurtful was in response to BlueKangaroo's comment, but I think I wasn't particularly clear about that in my post, so for that I apologise.

I'll swop you mine for yours though Wink

SwingingBetty · 18/09/2011 21:03

When I was pregnant, I had a take no shit attitude, so what I'd do is walk downstairs, and ask 'are you taking the piss?' if she says something like 'what do you mean?' then repeat the question, point out that you still treasure sleep (something you won't be able to get much of in ten weeks!) and could she kindly keep the fucking noise down please, and stomp back off to bed, you have every right to be completely irrational whilst pregnant, make the most of it! x

if someone ever swore at me, they wouldnt ever see me again and i mean that. If you are happy for your OH and your children not to have a relationship with their family members because you are just plain rude & foul mouthed, thats fine :) , thankfully my family arent like that

ChippingIn · 18/09/2011 21:04

When is she going home???

There isn't a jury in the country that would hold you responsible Grin

Original poster
featherbag · 18/09/2011 21:10

Apology accepted! She's going home in the morning - and she's STILL doing it! I'll keep smiling and reminding myself I'm lucky really, in most other ways she's great, and she lives a 7-hour drive away Wink

OP posts:
unpa1dcar3r · 18/09/2011 21:27

Ah well there you go then. You probably won't see her for a while! You'll laugh about this one day!!! Bless ya.
At least she sounds nice enough in other ways. I'd bite the hand off someone who offered to do my shopping!

My daughter got totally peed off with people touching her belly when she was pregnant. Some were strangers. She wanted to punch them! But she went on to have the most adorable child, cherished by all of us. You will too and I expect your MIL will be a shining light for you then, helping etc.
Best of luck

zipzap · 18/09/2011 22:57

I bet someone complimented her on her singing voice and she has been practicing/sharing her 'gift' with you in the desperate hope that you will compliment her too so she can launch into her tale about how she was told how wonderful she is... Without seeming to boast and so it looks like she is a natural.

Just wait for the days that she is there and so is the baby - you can have a nice conversation with the baby and the baby monitor for her to overhear you being glad of the escape from mad granny singing!

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