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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make my DS pronounce his 't's?

26 replies

Nagoo · 16/09/2011 09:01

DS has come back from school without the 'T' sound I sent him with.

I have been correcting him.

He says that the children at school don't say water. They way 'war-ar'.

I told him I want him to speak properly. He then goes on to speculate on why the children don't say their Ts.

I am leading him into a judgement on these other children, and 'their mummies and daddies' that I am not comfortable with.

It's not an 'accent' thing, it's just lazy speech IMO.

AIBU to insist he pronounce his Ts?

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 16/09/2011 09:03

YANBU

He'll soon learn to put on one voice for mummy and another voice for his schoolfriends.

LadyMondegreen · 16/09/2011 09:09

He will end up with many registers. One for his mates, one for his parents etc. He will exasperate you for a while by using his mates register for you. It's normal. You should persevere. It is a time-honoured dance. I should imagine most of his friends are nagged at home too.

It's called a glottal stop, by the way.

kat2504 · 16/09/2011 09:09

Children will copy the accent of their peers because they want to fit in at that age. It's fair enough if you correct him at home but perhaps in a way that explains that some people sound different and there isn't anything actually wrong with regional accents but that isn't how you want him to speak at home.

My parents got their knickers in a right twist about how we spoke, to the point of making us go to elocution lessons!! But my brothers, both of whom were not academic like my dad, left school at 16 etc, were more bothered about fitting in with their peer group and the people that they worked with and socialised with. As a result they still don't speak "proper" and all the stressing my dad did was absolutely pointless. So you may eventually find that you are banging your head against a brick wall and that there are bigger and better things to worry about.

BedHog · 16/09/2011 09:15

My DS is 3 and has recently started dropping his ts since moving up to the next group at nursery. I've been trying to correct him as much as possible, which is difficult as I've noticed DP often drops his ts too. I won't let him go out on his scoo-er until he's asked properly though!!

stabbystabbykillkill · 16/09/2011 09:21

My DD used to drop her t's. it's an accent thing where we live - very common.

I was so on top of her for it she used to actually ask for "butter-with-a-t-in-it"

YANBU

clutteredup · 16/09/2011 09:23

My DS had got used to speaking properly again during the holidays and came out of school on the first day back not making sense at all insisting on dropping every last 't' including those in his sisters name - I refuse to understand him and he soon slips back - as others have said one language for school friends and one for teachers and one for home Grin

ConstanceNoring · 16/09/2011 09:33

My DS started this on his first week in reception when he told be he had to collect his scooh-a before going home.

I soon beat it out of him corrected him on it. I heard myself saying "I'm not interest in how "x" is allowed to speak, this is how I want YOU to speak, - properly"

I heard myself a year later saying "I'm sure "x" and his Mummy like his ear piercing but no, you can't have it done"

acatcalledfelix · 16/09/2011 09:33

My husband still does this and he's 40! He's got one accent that he uses most of the time, including when he's with me, and another, more, erm, "relaxed" one when he's with selected friends and relatives. Drives me nuts and I always pick him up on it. He completely denies it.

So you've got years of this ahead of you!!!!

olddog · 16/09/2011 09:35

Ds says Arghhhh! instead of out which is infuriating but I say war-ar and bu-ar and it is most definitely an accent, my laziness is co-incidental.

discobeaver · 16/09/2011 09:48

My daughter started to say 'soz' instead of sorry, and is going through a weird stage of adding 'ay' on to the end of every sentence.

I am a terrible accent copier, and very quickly mirror different accents, no idea why, it's annoying.

fanjobanjowanjo · 16/09/2011 09:51

yanbu - I still pick up DP on this too, I just say "what?" he says "twenny" I say "What?" he says "twenny" I say "What?" he says "TwenTy!!!!!!"

Ha.

Chandon · 16/09/2011 09:52

My DC (8 and 6) started talking like that, I asked them why? (we're not in London)

My Dc2 (6) said it is how "cool people and rock stars" talk.

Then we all had a giggle.

it's true, innit?

Andrewofgg · 16/09/2011 09:54

Who does he think he is, Tony bloody Blair?

Insist on T at home, you'll win.

The one to watch for and stop is She's like for She said which is a horrible and breakable habit.

Original poster
Nagoo · 16/09/2011 09:55

He's just asked if I can draw him on a tattoo, as a boy at school has one one him.

I find it awkward as I am basically trying to instill in him that there is a 'right and wrong' way to speak. He's astute enough to work out that I am therefore saying that this other children are 'wrong'.

I am really hoping that he will not pass on my comments at school Blush

They are all going to get wind that I am a snobby bitch, aren't they?

OP posts:
littleducks · 16/09/2011 09:55

It isnt actually lazy, a glottal stop requires more physical effort than pronouncing the 't'.

That said I correct my children...although far more irritating is that since we moved to London dh has started doing it Hmm and he does not take it well if I automatically correct him

Alikersh · 16/09/2011 09:58

YANBU, this drives me nuts. My DS constantly drops his T's, especially in the word bottle. My stock response is "there are 2 T's in bottle, please say one of them"... at some point it'll sink in!!

ArthurMcAffertyhastwocats · 16/09/2011 09:59

You might not prevail. My brother has a highly impressive Estuary accent which he acquired at secondary school. It has lasted him through an Oxford degree, a spell teaching at a fairly smart private school, and his stellar career in investment banking. Any of his friends who don't know the rest of the family fall about in amazement when they meet us - one of his colleagues at his wedding asked me where I had acquired such a "cut glass accent" (he was, to be fair, a bit of wanker). He clearly had me down as a dreadful social climber, until they met my parents, and my sister, and my cousins.

My mother went through a brief phase of despair, then decided he would grow out of it, then realised it obviously wasn't holding him back in life, by which time it was far too late for him to do anything about it.

tallwivglasses · 16/09/2011 10:04

Does anyone send their children to school with a 'th' and they come back with a 'v'?

We're in the North East so this is not an accent thing. I never thought I'd be uptight about this but I corrected dd every time.

Worse was the 'Oi Noi!' phase!

BarbaraWoodlouse · 16/09/2011 10:04

YANBU.

T T T T T T

I also find myself picking DH up on it to.

That's IT. Not I' BTW

Narketta · 16/09/2011 10:09

It was only when Ds started to drop his T's that I realized that he'd learnt it from meBlush.

I hate it so I constantly correct myself and him now, he had a friend round after school last night and after tea his friend asked if they could have the TV on to watch car oons (Cartoons). It made my teeth itch the urge to correct her was so strong.

vicks71 · 16/09/2011 10:15

YANBU

I've nagged my 4 son a bit about this. "What comes out of the tap?" "Water", "What does the postman bring?" "Letters" etc etc until he says it properly with his "t's". Although now he just tries to be clever and answers eg "post" instead.

The other one he does is "f" for "th" eg "fink" rather than "think". I'm following him around a bit at the moment saying "th th th think". He thinks I'm slightly barking. He's right. Not sure if this one is an age thing though. Isn't it quite common for little 'uns to have problems with "th" irrespective of accent?

My son has a complete mix of pronounications - some odd brummie sounds (from me, god help him), some south west (from DP) and some North London (where we live) eg "gels" for "girls".

MillyR · 16/09/2011 10:17

If he's picking it up from other children, then it is an accent, surely?

Children don't start using a glottal stop out of laziness if they don't live in a an area where there is no glottal stop in the local accent.

DD is about to be in a Beatrix Potter show and she keeps saying Potter with a glottal stop because she thinks it is an impression of a Southerner. It is actually quite tricky and involves a lot of muscles to make a glottal stop! So I can't see that it is laziness if your child is doing it.

Original poster
Nagoo · 16/09/2011 10:18

tallwivglasses the 'Th' is changing into a 'D' not a V. :(

So Dey will get Dis and Dat from Der shops

I'm sorry but speaking like that makes him sound like an idiot. I hate it. :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Nagoo · 16/09/2011 10:24

The 'traditional' accent around these parts is not estuary.

I like it actually :) It's all toosday and coocumbers.

OP posts:
Narketta · 16/09/2011 10:24

Nagoo My Ds does the D thing aswell. I know he can say 'th' because he can read it with no problem but in conversation 'There' is pronounced as 'Dare'. I do correct him but it makes no difference.

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