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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to empty our sex drawer?

35 replies

TangerineQueen · 14/09/2011 23:25

My Grandmother is coming to stay for a couple of days. As we only have a sofa bed spare DH and I will sleep on the sofa and let her have our room.

The top drawer of our bedside table contains our sexual paraphernalia (condoms, toys, blindfolds lifted from airlines , some lacy bits and pieces. DH thinks we should empty it before she comes. My feeling is that

  1. She's probably not going to go through our drawers
  2. If she did we are adults and are allowed to have such things
  3. Where on earth else would we put it?

But am I setting the poor lady up for a huge rise in blood pressure? Do people really go through other people's bedside cabinets? I have read a lot of stuff on MN people wouldn't admit to in real life! Cock wiping, peeing in the shower...

OP posts:
Feminine · 14/09/2011 23:29

Just pop it all in a bathroom bag,and shove it under your bed or in your clothes drawer!

ImperialBlether · 14/09/2011 23:29

For crying out loud, OP, don't be stupid.

Your grandmother might want to keep personal items in that drawer. Empty it out and say she can use it if she wants.

I really wonder what's in your mind that you'd leave those things in there.

AgentZigzag · 14/09/2011 23:30

I think it'd only be polite to at least try and keep the bits and bobs private.

She might not be poking about in your drawers, but she might look for some tissues or something.

Bung them in a plaggy bag and shove them in a cupboard.

There's being yourself when you have a guest, and there's not being careful of your guests sensibilities.

I presume you're not going to have a dump in front of her? Similar kind of thing.

Seabright · 14/09/2011 23:31

Your Grandmother is, undoubtedly, a woman of a certain age. A woman of the world, a woman who's had sex, had a partner and had children.

I think she'll cope. I just hope she doesn't make conversation about it over breakfast.

Oh yes, she will look in all your drawers. That's a perk of being a guest, isn't it?

Kayano · 14/09/2011 23:32

She will
Go through your drawers I would but never admit to it

shakey1500 · 14/09/2011 23:32

I'd empty it yes and as imperialblether said, tell he she can use it. She's probably of an age where people pop bits and bobs in a bedside cabinet. Do you want to risk offending her, embarrasing her? Or are you hoping she sees it and marvels at how liberated you are? Grin

And surely to goodness you must have somewhere else you could stash it?

AgentZigzag · 14/09/2011 23:33

I'm hoping you're just being lighthearted, or I'd feel sorry for your grandmother, it's not a nice thing to want her to (I would say 'come across', but that'd be totally inappropriate) find.

Like you're testing her, and it's her own fault if she saw them.

Original poster
TangerineQueen · 14/09/2011 23:33

She is of course a woman of the world. But also one who won't watch 12 rated movies as they have bad language and sex scenes in.

OP posts:
Original poster
TangerineQueen · 14/09/2011 23:34

Perhaps I have answered my own question. Well that was short lived!

OP posts:
shakey1500 · 14/09/2011 23:35

Then you've answered the question.

Crosshair · 14/09/2011 23:36

Bag the stuff and dump somewhere out of the way. :)

piprabbit · 14/09/2011 23:37

OP - you could have emptied that drawer by now, if you weren't MNing about it instead Grin.

Seriously, if you have zero storage space, then pack it in a holdall and put it in the boot of the car.

You won't be able to look her in the eye, if you suspect she has been rummaging.

Original poster
TangerineQueen · 14/09/2011 23:42

Of course being largely lighthearted. Only really considered not doing it for 5 minutes when the fact that it was an issue at all luckily popped into my head. Pillow case, bottom of the wardrobe/car I promise!

OP posts:
Original poster
TangerineQueen · 14/09/2011 23:43

Will put in a novel and some handcream instead.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 14/09/2011 23:44

Whatever's in the draw, its a convenient one for a guest to use. So I'd empty it. If you move them somewhere more discreet and she finds them, HAHAHA!! That'll teach her for snooping.

If I was a guest, and I opened the most convenient draw in the room and found sex toys, after giggling I'd probably not really feel very welcome... I'd also feel embarrassed, even though I have a few items of my own!!

For me its about being welcoming, giving a guest space, not so much about the sex toys.

Original poster
TangerineQueen · 14/09/2011 23:49

Just to clear my name, even if I hadn't emptied it would have left all the lace on top of anything more incriminating, so probably would have just looked like an underwear drawer - hence the assuming nobody would look any further. Was definitely not meaning to be deliberately shocking. Though I guess some people might explore further it seems!

Nice for an AIBU to be resolved so quickly!

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 14/09/2011 23:52

I would love to see the look on her face though... would be a fly on the wall for that. But the look on your face when she came downstairs waggling a pair of rabbits and asking for more lube would be just priceless. Wink

PublicHair · 14/09/2011 23:55

have you thought of making a tasteful fan arrangement of your 'stuff' on top of the duvet, or perhaps a bird shape. we made a lovely 'dildo swan' recently and left it on great aunt marys pillows. held in place by nipple clamps and i must say the crotchless pants made a beautiful 'bunch of roses' display...

Original poster
TangerineQueen · 15/09/2011 00:00

Aldi - okay even if I'd thought I was being reasonable
before you have definitely demonstrated that I was not. And made me laugh - thanks!

Public - torn between horror and laughter. Loved the use of the word tasteful!

OP posts:
grumplestilskin · 15/09/2011 00:00

of course empty it, apart from the guest dildo (like spare guest toothbrush in the bathroom)

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 15/09/2011 00:02

I'm Envy you have a whole drawer for sex toys. I have to squish all my bras, pants, socks and tights into two tiny drawers.

I have drawer envy.

aldiwhore · 15/09/2011 00:05

Oh yes publichair sex toy sculpture... tres chic.

Grumple guest dildo??? That would earn points in "3 in a Bed"... Smile

AnneWiddecomesArse · 15/09/2011 00:11

If a guest was using any of my rooms, I would clean it out for their exclusive use.
It's about the comfort of a welcome guest.
I don't suppose that your Granny will be enchanted by a confrontation with your sex toys. It's not a moral issue; she may well have some of her own.
You seem to want to be "loud and proud", re your use of sex toys.

It's all very well and good; and no reasonable person would disagree with your choices, but...
It might be somewhat discomforting to stick the dentures/spectacles in a drawer and drag them out with an attached dildo.
There's no need and YABU.

EdithWeston · 15/09/2011 00:28

Because of course, if she found them she might use them and you'd never know.....

Honeydragon · 15/09/2011 00:32

Move it. My mum despatched me upstairs into the spare ro ro look in the bureau for batteries. They had recently put it in there from their room. I discovered my parents lube and vibrator. I returned with batteries. About half an hour later I saw my Mums face go Shock very quickly. She had clearly remembered it was left in there.

To this day we have NEVER discussed it .... Sometimes even brain bleach fails

Move the stuff please Grin