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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to mention to school

26 replies

biddysmama · 08/09/2011 22:10

that the children next door (that go to the same school as ds) keep coming round asking (me and other neighbours)for food? they were playing in their garden today and the oldest asked me if i had something to eat as he was hungry and last week i called my ds in for tea and the boy next door told ds that he wasnt having any tea? ive already reported the mum to police becuase she leaves them (2,5 and 8) alone in the house or being baby sat by 9+10 year olds.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:11

Make a call to SS, it will be quicker.

What was the response of the police?

aldiwhore · 08/09/2011 22:13

If you feel it is important then you should mention it to school, they can keep an eye out... your worries could be unfounded, or they could be justified.

I think the real question is would you be unreasonable NOT to mention it?

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 22:14

The school would have to advise you to ring SS. There's nothing much they can do really except keep a closer eye on them...but that won't help with the hunger.

On the other hand, some kids are constantly hungry and cheeky enough to ask...some haven't been taught the manners not to.

And as for saying he wasn't having any tea...well my eldest told his Nursery teacher that he's never had breakfast before.

The little git never left home without it Shock Hmm

pigletmania · 08/09/2011 22:14

I would also call NSPCC or SS also for advice about it. Does not sound right.

Original poster
biddysmama · 08/09/2011 22:15

my ds hasnt been there long so im not sure what they are like if you call them about things (if it was his old school then id call and know who to talk to) police take their time getting there and by the time they get there they are back Hmm

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 08/09/2011 22:16

Haha Worra, my son's done the same!!!!!!!

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:16

It is the leaving of the children with 9/a0 year olds that is of the most concern, especially as the dark cold nights come in.

If your description is correct, there seems to be neglect happening, how would you feel if there is a serious accident?

If the children are alone you are right to phone the police.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 22:17

The school will have a child protection officer (normally one of the management team)

But really, SS don't take kindly to secondhand information so they will I'm sure advise you to ring them yourself.

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:18

If you call the school it will be passed on to te safeguarding officer, it may well be that a report is being compiled.

Original poster
biddysmama · 08/09/2011 22:18

ive also called them becuase the kids were running out into the road (chicken?) and our is a very busy road, the motorway ends at the bottom so we get some fast cars!

OP posts:
worraliberty · 08/09/2011 22:22

Birds even if a report is being compiled...SS will still need to hear it from the OP and not second hand from the CP officer if you see what I mean.

I know this because I reported a Grandmother punching her 6yr old Grandson in the school playground. The child was known to SS (as it turned out) but I still had to ring SS myself...then (because it happened on school premises) make a statement with the CP officer at the school.

But they said if it had happened on a saturday for example, the school couldn't get involved...only if SS contacted them about it.

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:22

Phone SS before one of them is killed or badly injured. If you feel that you cannot speak to the school. The school will pass this on because of the integrated nature of Childrens services. Schools (teachers) are now concerned with the 'whole child'.

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:25

Worra- the OP may feel that phoning SS (which i said in my first post), is to much, so i would rather her at least share her concerns tomorrow. Schools are not following procedure but the service should be working together, even if they hear of an incident outside of school, it should be passed on.

I don't know how long ago your situation was.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 22:28

My situation was only 3yrs ago...if that I think?

I'm also the vice chair at my local Infants and I do know they advise parents to ring SS if they have concerns about any of the other pupils...because SS (in this area anyway) just won't take 'second hand' stories.

Perhaps it's just here?

Vallhala · 08/09/2011 22:30

I had an out of school serious concern about a girl in DDs class and was at a loss so confided in school, thanks to the advice on here when I posed the question. The school were very good, they said they had a duty to report to SS and did, it was all done confidentially and SS sat up, listened and acted far more and far quicker, I suspect, than had I contacted them myself.

I'd very much advise that you speak in confidence to the Head and let them do what's necessary as they WILL, unless they are complete screwball failures, act appropriately and with the interests of the children as their priority.

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:32

They should be telling parents to phone SS, but they should also be logging it and passing it to the safeguarding team. The guidelines changed in 2009 after baby P. Funniliy enough i was in a conferance about this the other day and schools are still not doing what they should. If they are completly ignoring what they are told, they are breaking national recomendations and guidelines on child protection.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 22:34

Well the thing is, it seems it's SS that doesn't want to know...not the school. They just point blank tell the CP officer they want to hear from the person who witnessed it.

Vallhala · 08/09/2011 22:37

Also, in my case, the school already had concerns about the girl in question. My report added to what they already knew (they told me they had concerns but couldn't say what) - in this case school may also be aware of things you aren't and your report - especially of leaving the DC, which hurts and horrifies me - may be the thing which tips the balance and makes sorting the problem out far more likely.

You can't, just can't say nothing and do nothing about children being left as these are (though I agree that wrt not being fed etc, kids can say some embarrassingly untrue/ill thought out and not accurate things).

Just to prove that, on a lighter note, my friends SN little lad told mum that he'd broken his leg at school, hospital had chopped it off and sewn it back on! We laughed at that but boy, when he told school that mum didn't feed him (she did, very well), poor mum was mortified!

But the leaving the children next door... no, poor mites, you MUST do something, please.

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:40

If it was after 2009, then the individual SW's are breaking the law, as long as the school has given enough detail to act upon, then they have 'a duty' to investigate. I would advise taking a name, so the buck doesn't get passed, if something ever goes wrong.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 22:42

No, I think it would have been around 2008 actually birds because my DS was in the Infants at the time...I'm sure it was prior to baby P.

Vallhala · 08/09/2011 22:44

Birds, the situation we had was about 18 months ago IIRC. Then the school told me, in response to my concerned call, that they had a duty to report to SS. I was forwarded to the school's CP teacher who knew her stuff and who dealt with me with courtesy and in confidence and with huge concern and professionalism wrt the child.

Hope this gives you comfort, OP.

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 22:59

Vallhala-it's nice to know that procedure was followed.

Worra- the law was changed in 2009 when the Social Work Taskforce was created in light of baby P, CP and integrated/multi-professional working was brought into focus, it is updated yearly and it is going to be extended further. It has been added to teacher and SW training, Nursing has just opted out of the training, though, they are going to conduct their own.

worraliberty · 08/09/2011 23:02

Yes I remember doing a bit of Governor training on it Birds

Though I have to say it's still pretty much 'hit and miss' according to which Borough you're in Sad

And now with all the cutbacks...well I can't see things improving as much as they hoped they might.

festi · 08/09/2011 23:05

however after the scrapping of contactpoint many schools are still not following through with thier duty. It is and has been an ongoing problem since the laming report. Op call ss not the school or the police.

Birdsgottafly · 08/09/2011 23:08

OP sorry for going off the subject, please tell your concern to someone.

They will not look to remove the children, they will work with the mum, they may be able to help her with childcare to take the pressure off her, there is extra funding that can be tapped into, also, if she is honestly struggling.

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