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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask about autism here?

20 replies

DraculasMum · 31/08/2011 21:20

Im just starting out childminding and have had an enquiry from a parent with a 4 year old who has been diagnosed with mild autism traits.

Can anyone tell me what i need to put in place?

What can i expect?

I don't know much about the condition so if anyone can give me some personal experience?

OP posts:

worraliberty · 31/08/2011 21:23

What did the parent say when you asked her what you could expect from her child and what you should have in place?

ouryve · 31/08/2011 21:23

The best place to ask is probably the special needs board - lots of people with lots of experience there!

thisisyesterday · 31/08/2011 21:24

yes yabu.

put it in the right topic

beckybrastraps · 31/08/2011 21:25

YABU.

I think there are probably better places.

biddysmama · 31/08/2011 21:25

the best people to speak to are the parents, they know the child and will be able to tell you exactly what the traits are and how best to handle them, theres a broad spectrum of autism, so no one else can really give you advice as all autistic children are different

FigsAndWine · 31/08/2011 21:27

Umm...YABU, I think; posting this on the SN boards would probably get far more helpful and focused anecdotal/experiential responses, and reading some decent books about ASD would give you a decent background.

If you have no experience in dealing with children with ASD, please don't try to bluff it; read, research, and tell the parent that you don't have much experience but that you are able and keen to learn about their particular child and what (s)he needs.

Original poster

DraculasMum · 31/08/2011 21:29

oh fgs .. I know this is in the 'wrong' place - It frustrates me i never get any help on other boards because NOONE answers me. Im not placing any judgements just asking for help so didnt see it would be a problem

Here you get more replies, there is always crap on these boards this is a serious question i need answers to!

When i spoke to the parent she said she has a schedule for him, i want to get a good understanding of what i can expect and if i need anything special inplace

OP posts:

Peachy · 31/08/2011 21:29

Can I help? I think it's a less than ideal place to post but I have 2 with asd, one with suspectyed and I am a dissertation away from an MA in Autism; I hope I know my bit by now!

Biddy is right that all children on teh spectrum vary but there is a criteria they ahve to meet to get the label. Start by looking at the triad of impairments and imagining both extremes- so where a stereotyope child with asd might manifest social difficulty by being withdrawn, my ds3 is the opposite: totally in your face at time and hyper-sociable (and withdrawn at others, as if in an absence).

the national autistic society is also a useful source but ultimeately you would need to speak to the aprents. Rememebr that some kids are very severe.... and some are very high functioning, able and learn to cope very well indeed.

Peachy · 31/08/2011 21:30

For ideas of schedules google visual timetable / schedule on ebay; they have some great ones to get ideas from.

Original poster

DraculasMum · 31/08/2011 21:30

Not going to bluff it.. hence asking for help

OP posts:

worraliberty · 31/08/2011 21:31

Ask to see the schedule and ask the parent if you need anything special in place.

Honestly, all kids are different and they all have different needs whether they have SN or not.

Really, the parent will know best

Original poster

DraculasMum · 31/08/2011 21:34

peachy thank you for that information, I will look up the schedules now.

National autistic society will also have a good read of this, The parent has told me that her DS is able to communicate i.e toilet, drink etc and he is going to be starting school in september (a state primary school not special needs) She has told me has just been diagnosed and that he has some speech problems.

Thank you for telling me, i am not sure if i am correct in thinking this but can autism sometimes lead the child to lash out in frustration? Not sure if i am confusing ADHD with autism maybe?

OP posts:

Louiseteacher30 · 31/08/2011 21:36

Hi Draculasmum,

I would get in touch with your local education authority as they have access to Autism Outreach services. The outreach teachers/ assistants should be able to put you in touch with someone who can advise on routines/ visual timetables/speech and language etc.

If the little boy is 4 years old he may already be in the system of being assessed or it may be that he hasn't been assessed. In my experience many parents label their child as 'mildly Autistic' because of particular behaviours they may exhibit at a young age and these children are in fact, not Autistic at all.

I have a very good friend who I met through my school's Autism Outreach service, she has many years experience advising nurseries and schools about Autism. If you message me with your email I could pass it to her, she has many resources and information sheets that I'm certain she would pass on to you.

Louise

coppertop · 31/08/2011 21:40

It's so difficult to generalise with autism. I have 2 children with ASD and they are like chalk and cheese.

Lashing out might be a possibility, but depends entirely on the child. One of mine doesn't do hitting out at all. The other one only hits himself.

If language is an issue then I'd say that it would be a good idea to keep your own language as simple as possible. As an example, if you said "Do you want to go to the park?" to mine they wouldn't pick up anything other than "park", and even that would be doubtful if they didn't realise you were talking to them. "John go park" worked much better. The name got their attention, and then all they had to work out then was "go" and "park".

Peachy · 31/08/2011 21:43

DraculasMum sometimes but only some children. My ds1 will, ds3 would not. It is unlikely though IME (quite wide) that a mum with a child who is a risk would ask for a aplcement: not impossible, I do know one sadly deluded Mum (a teacher to boot) whose child loses out on a lot of help becuase she refuses to see what is in front of her, but generally people would bear their child's needs in mind.

I am happy if you mesage me to send you the powerpoints I get from university, the introductory ones. There's lots in there on what autism is and how it can manifest. But it is essential to remember that all children with it differ and need to be evaluated as individuals regardless of label. DS3 went toa CM and she adored him; he is quite severe but never ever lashed out even as children normally do, is a cuddly angelic little soul. I would not however even consider putting ds1 with anyone except an ASD expert.

WinterIsComing · 31/08/2011 21:47

How lovely that you are concerned and want to educate yourself. My son is four and has autism. Diagnosed as classically autistic at 2.9 (thankfully early because I had MN as a resource) but now described as "high-functioning".

My DS isn't violent at all and yes ADHD and dyspraxia can be co-morbid with autism but not always.

The SN children board is here but is hidden so I'm not surprised that you wanted to ask your question here. It has plenty of traffic and helpful and knowledgeable posters. This isn't the usual non-AIBU frivolous thread and doesn't deserve vitriol IMO

Peachy · 31/08/2011 21:51

Winter the reason I was dubious about posting here was simply that it attracts trolls who could start the whole no such thing as autism / crap aprenting thing off- the very thing that caused the SN board to be hidden all those years back.

I suspect that si why many of us get wary when SN pop up on the main board. The OP sounds fine- actually I am impressed, getting yourself informed is so great, even if this child is not suitable a child she does care for could be diagnosed and our CM was a wonderful help with ds3 during his dx.

It's just that fear of The Other.

Louiseteacher30 · 31/08/2011 21:57

Hi draculasmum,

My friend said its no problem at all, she'd be delighted to help- could you pm me your first name so that I can send with your email
Thanks

Original poster

DraculasMum · 31/08/2011 22:09

Louise have sent my addy to you thanks very much.

peachy im sending you a pm now.

winter thanks for the link to the board, i wondered why i couldnt find it! obviously because it is hidden.

I really want to have diversity in my setting and if i do mind this boy i want to be totally clued up so i can cater to his every need and focus on what he needs extra help with, i think i can help him by knowing all i can about the diagnosis before i agree to taking him on, if he feels fragile with his diagnosis i could potentially upset him by not knowing how to handle his needs.

OP posts:

Peachy · 31/08/2011 22:23

Sent email to you DM.

Be aware as well that if his dx is autism traits that means he only has parts fo teh criteria: it would be handy to ask which triats he ahs. If he ahs a routine he may well struggle with transitions or changes, but not for example have any social issues.

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