The Evening Playdate

[Popbiscuit]

I'm a stay-at-home mum of three. DS1 (6) has a little friend from school that lives on the next street over. His mum (and dad) both work full-time and often call to ask our DS over to play with their son at about 6:30pm. This annoys me a bit as at this time of day our household is very busy with dinner, baths, activities, homework etc., and I resent the idea of having to rearrange our evening to drop him off/pick him up later in the evening when I am trying to get DS2 (4) ready for bed by 7:30 and do all the other evening things that need doing (DH is often not home until 8 or later). I should add that sometimes this couple will ask if their son can come over to play at our house on the weekend which I find a bit odd too. We often say yes as DS1 does enjoy playing with her little boy.

There are a few other families in our neighbourhood that have a parent/sitter/nanny at home during the day so DS has lots of opportunities to get together with friends during the day/after school. Am I being unreasonable to feel annoyed? How would you handle this?

Id not allow it in the week during school nights but wouldn't mind at weekends.

You've only got yourself to blame by allowing it in the evenings. How stupid to agree then feel annoyed.

Weekends are fine by me.

yabu

if you don't like the arrangement then just say no. it's a bit unreasonable to say yes and then moan aboiut it

it sounds great to me! i'd love to get rid of my 6 year old for the evening lol

how would i handle it? i would just say no if it doesn't suit you

I understand why it annoys you, why don't you say you don't mind but only if they can pick him up and drop him off? Or just say no, it's not convenient.

YANU to be annoyed. But YABU to expect the child's parents to be mind readers!

I think I would just say that the 6.30pm time is not convenient for your son/your family routine. Would it be possible to arrange another day and time? Be firm, no need to explain yourself to them. It just doesn't suit but you're willing to compromise on another time that works for everyone. See what they come back with.

And if their little son comes to you regularly on the weekend why don't you ask the parents if your son could go to them one weekend instead? You then can have some free time/space, it's your turn!

YABU why do you find it odd that the couple ask for the boy to come to your house at the weekend . YABU to agree to the arrangement, there is the option of saying no, its not a good time, mabey at the weekend during the day.

If it's only the next street over why can't he walk home on his own? Unless there's a busy road to cross of course.

I don't think it's unreasonable of them to ask, nor you to say no - but it's unreasonable to say 'yes' then moan about it.

You say your DS has lots of opportunities to get together with friends due to you being a SAHM - but what about their DS? Surely they are just trying to do what they can so he can see friends outside of school.

As for them asking if he can come to your house, it's a little unusual, but maybe he pesters them to ask - maybe it's just more fun at your house than his (in his opinion).

Say no if its inconvenient. Saying yes then resenting it is a bit passive aggressive.

Thanks all. Theirs is a very busy road and a long one so the walk would be about 15 minutes; too long for DS on his own. I suppose saying yes and then grumbling is a bit PA. I do usually say no/we're busy/ it's inconvenient regarding the evenings but they continue to ask. I suspect that (if their DS is anything like mine) he is pestering Mum and Dad for playtime with friends and I'm happy to oblige on the weekends (even though I would never ask to drop my child off at someones house unless a close friend/relative or an emergency).

I put my 6 year old in the bath at 6.30 on a week day.

I wouldn't mind a saturday pm playdate, though.

Can you explain it doesn't fit in with your bedtime routine for you LO, and ask if they can pick-up/drop your DS back for the playdate? If their DS is pestering them to arrange the playdates they would probably be happy to do this. Or if they are trying to make sure their DS manages to fit in some play-dates. But 6:30pm seems late to me - how long does he stay there? an hour or so?

I often drop back my friends kids from playdates, especially when there are younger siblings involved.

Also - does your DS get to visit them also over weekends? Or just their DS coming to visit you? Would they be using you for babysitting to get a bit of free time on weekends???