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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU Mums at school

24 replies

Kazanova · 25/08/2011 08:07

I fell out with a friend, whom wanted to move on from other friends. So my conversation allowed her to leave. We dont talk to her (but that was her choice not ours). However, friend then collates other mums within ds class and work collegues to be funny towards me/DS. Surley its our arguement and not theirs. Shes very convincing and I have to admit very good at it. But fed up with sarc comments and fake laugh. How do you deal with someone like this? Its not effecting ds performance but he has been moved for September to a new class. When I asked Head why, it was relayed that it was best both DS's are longer in same class. BUT both DS get on fine still and even play together at school. Seems funny how all her new friends are now in her DS class. Tell me that was not planned :(

OP posts:

activate · 25/08/2011 08:09

cricketballs · 25/08/2011 08:10

just about to put the same thing activate!

ZillionChocolate · 25/08/2011 08:12

I can't imagine that your ex-friend has the power to dictate class membership. It's understandable that you're hurt but I think you need to try and get over this.

milkshakejake · 25/08/2011 08:13

hmmm, I find your post to be a bit confusing, OP! Why did she want to 'move on' from other friends?

Panzee · 25/08/2011 08:13

Some people never leave the playground behind even when they are grown up. And some heads are weak. This is why I am secretly relieved my job means I can't do the school run!

TheMitfordsMaid · 25/08/2011 08:15

I don't understand this.

LindyHemming · 25/08/2011 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoingTheBestICan · 25/08/2011 08:22

So you fell out,she made friends with the other mums,she got the head to move her child & his friends to a new class & you feel left out????

If you arent friends anymore does it matter?

PrincessScrumpy · 25/08/2011 08:25

If someone told me not to like another person due to an argument she'd had with them, but I liked that person, it would make no difference to me. This is because I'm an adult and I choose my own friends.

ScarlettIsWalking · 25/08/2011 08:30

Can you explain what you mean in the first part of your post?

exoticfruits · 25/08/2011 08:36

You are an adult-this is 10yr old girl stuff-rise above it. You are reading far too much into it.

Original poster

Kazanova · 25/08/2011 08:44

I was friends with mums in DS class before I/firends met her 4 years ago. But some have taken sides, inwhich I think dont bother with them. As for her moving on from my friends, she told me they did not have the right lifestyle/jobs and husbands did not have CEO and Solicitor status. Where her new friends all have. As for her having that much power well she is a class act. I have never met ANYONE in all my working years that can persaude others to help her. I got over our freindship sometime ago as you have to move on, but shes still making comments (even 6 months later). I think maybe she realises what a mistake she made and knows she can not come back. I know for a fact that she spoke to Headteacher and oh look my sons moved. Other mums in class dont know why he was moved either!

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 25/08/2011 08:49

She has the power because you are giving it to her. She doesn't have any if you don't let her bother you.

ladyintheradiator · 25/08/2011 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cricketballs · 25/08/2011 08:50

unless you have a listening device in the head's office how do you know what the conversation was? Have you asked why your DS was moved?

timetoask · 25/08/2011 08:52

Grown up people behaving like children.

Original poster

Kazanova · 25/08/2011 08:58

Yes I have asked and it was implied that he was to be away from other DS to allow her ds to have the friends in his class. My DS has never stopped him making friends in class before so I dont know why now. I dont think someone realises that freinds stay regardless. Also one of the mums told me (even though I did not ask) I think your right about we are giving her the power. I try to ignore but shes soooooo up everyones A**s there. I just want to move on.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 25/08/2011 09:02

Well move on.....ignore her.

festi · 25/08/2011 09:05

drop your kids off go to work/home....pick your kids up go home. politics pass you by that way.

Original poster

Kazanova · 25/08/2011 09:07

Some have said that there are more kids outside the gate than in.

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 25/08/2011 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatmeworry · 25/08/2011 09:58

Actually I've seen a sharp elbowed mother do that (Tell school that her DC and another are mortal enemies and need to be separated, and her PDC needs to be with his own friends) and it happened. This mother was also on PTA etc.

The only thing to do is keep far away from this person and fight son's corner with the school (ie why is my son the only child to have switched classes, what about his friendship groups,accuse them of pandering to parents etc etc - just make it known you are not a pushover).

School gates are poisonous places, stay away and find other friends (lots of mums don't have time/inclination to pla the politics there)

rainbowinthesky · 25/08/2011 10:02

I think you need to get a job and get someone else to do the school run. You sound far too caught up and like you never left school yourself.

Original poster

Kazanova · 29/08/2011 02:58

I do have a job, in the school, so your right, no I dont get away from it. Possibly not one of my better chioces. Infact other mums whom have work there have said, that had they known what they have seen/heard they would not have taken the job. I did not know what they meant when i first started but maybe this situation is what they meant. I just keep the peace at the school/gate and upto now all has been well until our fall out. If I could find another job tomorrow I would go. I think your right I need to make a clean break from school and let my son go to his new class and see what happens. If it does not work out, I want him moved back and I will put it in writing and go to the governers if I have too. I think its a case if your face fits with our school. I have appreciated all comments.

OP posts:

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