ds thinks adult neighbor hates him

[mattsmadmum]

lived almost next door for almost 20yrs. the mum always been a bit funny and can honestly say i have never said more than hello to her as if you try to she shuns me. kids at same school-never really played as hers older-then they began to-hers here all day and i mean all day-all of a sudden they stopped coming over-and she began ignoring us at school ect.-her hubby dosent but dont know him that much either-last week my ds asked me why the whole family now hate him and wont play or talk. really dont know what we have done-have no mutual friends so told son it was me they hated not him-dont know what else to do -will see her later at dance class should i say something?-i think someone has been stirring trouble any ideas?

I would definitely ask her if there is a problem? I'd say there appears to be an atmosphere and you would like to know why. If she thinks there is a problem she should at least give you the opportunity to discuss?
As long as you are reasonable and pleasant then youve done everything you can to open a dialogue.
At least you will know what the issue is - if there is one!
Good luck.

Why didn't you tell your child to ask the kids what's up?

Are you sure tht any of them 'hate' either of you?

If there is an age difference, and the only interaction between the children has been for a few weeks over the summer, perhaps the novelty has just worn off?

Perhaps the people next door prefer to keep their neighbours at a distance.

Don't approach her assuming that something is wrong, just say hi, and mention what fun your son had over the summer.

I was in a similar situation last year. Wont bore you all with the finer details but anyway after several weeks of being ignored by a previously friendly mum at school (We had had a slight misunderstanding over a playdate in the holidays). I asked her what was wrong. She was emphatic that she was absolutely fine, wasn't ignoring me and that I was being very oversensitive. Whatever! I wasn't imagining it but anyway it sort of cleared the air. We are not great friends anyway but I just didn't like the sort of tension this created and simply asking the question made me feel better. I hate confrontation so this was a big achievement for me. I would definitely do it again. Ask her this evening in a nice way and then at least you won't be left wondering!