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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

a "proper" holiday?

22 replies

Tommy · 22/08/2011 11:18

we've just got back fom our first holiday abroad with the DSs - 10 days camping in Brittany. It was lovely

SIL said to me "Am I right in thinking that's the first proper holiday you've taken them on?"

Last year, we did a week camping in Devon plus 2 long weekends in Norfolk and Dorset
The year before we spent a week with all the ILs in a Haven caravan in Devon
The year before that we went to Centerparcs
The year beforethat we went to Butlins
We did a few years staying at Ma-in-laws (nice seaside town) while they were away.
The first year we had DS we went to a cottage in Cornwall with the ILs

are they not "proper" holidays?
So is she BU or, because we don't take our children on package holidays to Majorca, am I?

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 22/08/2011 11:19

She is

Bit snobby is she? Lovely!!

ASByatt · 22/08/2011 11:22

I trust that your response was a polite, "No of course not, we've visited lots of lovely places - what on earth do you mean?"

Original poster

Tommy · 22/08/2011 11:25

My response was (after a bit of a )
I like to think all our holidays have been proper holidays but this was our first trip abroad.

[smug emoticon]

OP posts:

smoggii · 22/08/2011 11:26

I'm guilty of referring to abroad holidays as 'proper' holidays, makes DH fume as at the moment all our hols are in the UK, they are and have been fabulous it's just a term I use to differentiate, which i probably shouldn't.

I don't use it to other people because I understand it sounds derogatory but give your SIL the benefit of the doubt, she probably didn't say it to be mean

Hope you had a fab holiday

borderslass · 22/08/2011 11:26

We have a tourer and have done for 16 years also went to south of france in a static twice with the kids BUT I want a proper holiday abroad with just DH and I where I'm not doing all the cooking and bloody cleaning.

Helenagrace · 22/08/2011 11:27

I'd have said "yes it's the first foreign holiday we've taken them on. We do proper holidays all the time, we just fancied a change".

Cheeky cow!

I had someone recently recently say to me "why can't you just do a package holiday to Spain like everyone else? What's wrong with that?". I wanted to say "people like you"...but I chickened out.

Original poster

Tommy · 22/08/2011 11:27

I think she thinks that it isn't a holiday unless you go on a plane (my idea of hell with 3 DSs) and stay by the pool all day (DH's idea of hell)

I just thought it was an odd thing to say although I guess I should be used to it by now

OP posts:

zookeeper · 22/08/2011 11:32

I do think there's something about going abroad that makes a holiday "proper". Maybe it's because everything is more "foreign" and out of the ordinary; even getting there (by plane or ferry) is outside normal experience.

Mind you, we live in Devon so perhaps if we were miles inland I would think a holiday in a Devon campsite by the sea would be "proper"

CaptainNancy · 22/08/2011 11:35

Hahah helenagrace - I would have said that!

Tommy- small children love going anywhere- camping, France, the moon, post office.... they don't care IME.

poppyknot · 22/08/2011 11:37

Cornwall seems very 'proper' to us. 10 hours in the car and you have most certainly gone somewhere else.

By the reckoning of OP's sil we will likely never go on a proper holiday. Maybe we should just pretend.

ASByatt · 22/08/2011 11:38

I think your response was really good, actually.

I don't get this 'proper' holiday business??? Sounds a little...limiting. Or limited, even!

catgirl1976 · 22/08/2011 11:52

She is BU - you are not.

A package holiday to Spain is not a "proper" holiday in my book. Camping in Devon / Norfolk is far more "proper" IMO.

I am sure she didn't mean anything other than "abroad" but please don't let someone who uses "proper" to describe a package deal to Spain bother you.

(Nothing wrong with package tour to Spain if that's what you enjoy of course, but you don't get to be snobby about other peoples holidays........)

exoticfruits · 22/08/2011 12:04

I wouldn't call it a 'proper holiday' -far too stressful doing plane journeys with young DCs. More likely to be a 'proper' holiday if you don't travel far and can relax.

OriginalPoster · 22/08/2011 12:07

Yes, many people assume that you can't afford to go abroad or that you are depriving your family if you don't go abroad.

Ephiny · 22/08/2011 12:08

I would have been confused and asked her what she meant, seems a very odd thing to say.

For me a 'proper' holiday is one that lasts for a week at least, as opposed to a short break or weekend away. But everyone will have their own definition and I wouldn't dream of implying to someone that the types of holidays they went on were not 'proper' in some way. Because that would be really quite rude!

ColdSancerre · 22/08/2011 12:10

It's just her terminology surely? I wouldn't let it bother you, all your holidays sound great.

I'm a bit guilty of this when talking to DP, we go to Scottish highlands every year for a fortnight but then I say to DP that I want a week of a 'proper holiday' by which I mean somewhere warm and sunny just to relax by the pool with a book and not spend every day doing stuff.

anchovies · 22/08/2011 12:11

I have had my first proper holiday this year in a cottage in Wales. Every other year we have been on shitty package trips to Spain and Greece and I've come back feeling like I needed a holiday (3 dcs under 5.)

RavenVonChaos · 22/08/2011 12:11

To me a proper holiday is a weekend away with dp. No kids, no chores. Good food, boozing, lying on bed reading my book. Bliss. We are off camping this week with dc's which I also love.

HerdOfTinyElephants · 22/08/2011 12:14

"Oh, we've been on lots of proper holidays. I'm rather hoping for an improper holiday, but I suppose that will have to wait until the DSs are old enough to go off without us..."

pozzled · 22/08/2011 12:19

She is BU. I'm with Ephiny in that I see a 'proper' holiday as a week or more.

Hulababy · 22/08/2011 12:29

SIL is BU and a bit odd.

To me a proper holiday is a week or more away, staying away from home. I'd probably not class staying with family/friends in their home as a "proper" holiday as such, simply the terminology thing I guess. But not really sure why.

Shorter than a week is a weekend away or a short break.

But whether it is in the UK or abroad is irelevent to whether it is a holiday or now. I've just been on a proper holiday - two weeks abroad, staying in a villa with a pool - and I will still class my week away in October in a cottage in N Yorkshire with friends as a proper holiday too.

Would I personally consider camping as a proper holiday? Hmm....probably not. But that's because I can't imagine a week of camping being much of a holiday for me, I can do 1 maybe 2 nights at most but it's not my idea of fun, that's all.

Original poster

Tommy · 22/08/2011 12:42

lol a herdoftinyelephants

I guess I just really appreciate the change of scene. We stayed in a hotel overnight recently after a party and I felt like I'd been on holiday.

SIL is a bit odd and a bit daft about things like that anyway. She never has her kids at home longer than a weekend cos she doesn't know what to do with them

OP posts:

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